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Category: Ask the Audience

How did you get them to leave?

How did you get them to leave?

How did you get your narcissistic husband to leave the family home?  I cannot and will not leave, as the home is co-owned by my sibling and me. There are children and pets involved, also.  Thank you.
How do I not marry a narcissist?

How do I not marry a narcissist?

I grew up with an NPD mother and an entire family of “non-offenders” (those who support an abuser and prevent resistance or escape) 7 years after going total “no-contact” with all of them recovery is still gradual and hard. I hear so many stories of people in my position who have gone on to date/marry a narcissist and the idea terrifies me. How do I make sure to not do that? Thanks for your thoughts.

He told me he’s never letting me go

He told me he’s never letting me go

Hello there, I need some help.  I’m not going to go into detail because that’d take a whole day, but my soon to be ex husband is texting me from a different number. I know it’s him because of his horrible grammar. In the text he put my full name and date of birth and other personal information saying it’s a warning to my husband that he better watch his back. He did this to make me worry for him and call him and make sure he’s okay. But I didn’t fall for it. I text him and he’s of course denying it. I go no contact as much as possible but we’re still married and I’m terrified of filing for divorce because of how crazy he might act. He told me he’s never letting me go. I don’t know if I’m dealing with a narcissist anymore….. because don’t they leave you
A narcissistic family

A narcissistic family

From a narcissistic family where there’s a golden child, a black sheep and the brother is a follower. My partner is the black sheep or ex rather, I have a 14 month old child with the man but his mother walked in and tried to take my daughter off me right out of my arms when I had done nothing wrong.

Amongst a lot of other things, making me sign a contract to be her and my partner’s father’s slave as they live on a 100 acre property and do nothing for themselves.  I already did absolutely everything anyway.  I mean everything, beds, toilets, cars, cooked, massaged their pains if they were and provided for all of them out of my own pocket. 😡  They put on the street 8 hours away from anyone I knew other than them and kept all my belongings so all my household furniture and everything.  They then stole $10,000 of my money I had saved in cash at their home never to be seen again.  I got parts of my belongings back though after 6 months of war.  Since all this has now turned my partner against me and it’s destroying our family although my ex has done a lot to hurt me also.  It’s been 8 weeks now and not getting much easier as I have our 14 month old daughter full time now.  Also I am staying at his aunt’s on her floor on a mattress and my child in her porta-cot? And I think I may be pregnant again?

Feeling very lost

Feeling very lost

Hello, I would like to anonymously ask the community a question.
How do you manage co-parenting young children after a split from a narcissist (father)?  visitations, financial support, etc.

I am building up to splitting from my narcissist, however, I am very nervous about what he may say to the kids about me – he already tells them that I am selfish and don’t look after them well enough  (not true! 😣).

I’m feeling very lost.
My son believes everything his father tells him

My son believes everything his father tells him

Your article on The Silent Treatment, narcissistic emotional abuse was absolutely so helpful to me. It confirmed to a “T” the husband I’m married to. I have managed to escape and busy with proceeding with a divorce.

The sad part is my husband is using our son (he is 16 years old, turning 17 in July) as a pawn / tool and emotionally abusing him so against me as his mother for his own benefit and gain. My husband includes our son in all our adult talk. He puts so much pressure on our son.

As a result my son is disrespectful, rude and cold towards me. My son believes everything his father tells him about me. My husband runs me down in front of our son & behind my back making me out as a worthless, hopeless and useless human being.

I’m finding it enormously hard to cope, manage and deal with my son. Any advice would be much appreciated.
It’s all about control

It’s all about control

I just wanted to say that I’m frustrated. Today should be a day of rejoicing. New beginning.

I just can’t bring myself to going to my inlaws for another meal of horrible food and drama. I just want to stay home and celebrate the day with my own children.

My husband and I have been “guilted” to this year after year. For the past 24 years to be exact. How do we gracefully bow out?

We have been told that we will be celebrating my husband’s and my birthday as well. He will be 52 and I will be 51, but not for a week. We both have stated that we do not wish to have dinners nor birthday parties, but they continue. It really cuts into our personal family time that we do not get much of with our two college children.

I do not mean to seem ungrateful, but it is every holiday and every birthday for every family member and I’m just tired of it.

When we try to get out of it, we are pummeled with 20 questions on why!

Do you have any information that I could read on or suggestions of sights that I could go to in how to handle these situations? It’s just control.

Thank you.

He wants to control maintenance money

He wants to control maintenance money

My ex narc is now saying he has some sort of plan to force disclosure of how I spend the maintenance money. And evidence. He will make me use it more appropriately. Because I am helping our older child with the money. Any idea? 😞
My ten year old is so easily manipulated

My ten year old is so easily manipulated

I’m am now in a custody battle with my ex over my 10 year old. He is demanding more time and I don’t agree, not because I’m bitter but because my daughter’s behaviour has changed significantly in the last year. There’s major signs of brainwashing and alienation towards me. I’ve been trying forever to get someone to take me seriously and help me .I was able to get a lawyer through a grant, so far he sucks .I’m very unhappy with his treatment towards me and there seriousness of my case. I’m scared to death someway somehow my daughter will end up with him. As you probably know, since he’s a narcissist, he will not give up. All I have are the hundreds of harassing emails to me and my 16 year old who doesn’t want to go with him and who he is not fighting for cause he knows she’s too old to be manipulated but my 10 year old is so easily manipulated and because he was a heroin addict and was never there she will do anything to please him so he doesn’t abandon her again. I’m so broken. He has her so brainwashed she has totally turned against me and if she actually has to testify I fear she will say all the things she learned from him to be used against me. I don’t know much of anything about the law or my rights and I’m terrified this whole conspiracy against me will actually play to his advantage and that she will be lost forever. I don’t understand how a parent can use an innocent child as a pawn to gain control and have power over me, because it’s been three years since we split and finally after 14 years I was strong enough to say enough is enough. I’ve always hoped my kids would have a good relationship with their dad. I’ve never gotten in the way of that but since last summer I’ve seen all the signs of an abuser abusing my daughter and I can’t allow it to continue but if my lawyer sucks then I’m screwed. Any advice or I’m just happy I can vent…