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Category: Ask the Audience

She’s driving me crazy

She’s driving me crazy

I am currently dealing with a narcissistic person who is my sister-in-law and ex friend. Her taunts, lies, and the ton of stuff she did to embarrass me is driving me crazy. I am getting frustrated and fed up with her and her nonsense. Can you all give me some advice on how to deal with this person?

My ex husband continues to violate boundaries

My ex husband continues to violate boundaries

My narc ex husband is dating a now EX friend of mine. That is betrayal enough (by the friend) but now she’s pushing in on my kids’ lives. Ever since my ex and I split, he has continued to violate boundaries. He has shown up at my family functions at the holidays, and my family unfortunately won’t turn him away. Other than my mom and sister, they either “don’t want to get involved” or think I should just “rise above for the sake of the kids.” Most recently, he took the kids for halloween, and the girlfriend went along. They showed up at 2 of my uncle’s houses and WENT INSIDE. Not just knock-knock, trick or treat. Went in and hung out. I find that super inappropriate (plus, who wants to hang out at their new boyfriend’s ex wife’s family’s house???) I’ve tried talking to my family with no luck. I’ve tried talking to the ex narc, obviously with no results. I’m so hurt and angry. How would you handle?

My daughter at her young age realises the toxic dad she has

My daughter at her young age realises the toxic dad she has

My almost 16 year old daughter is refusing to return to her dad’s house due to his emotional and narcissistic abuse. She has been in counselling for 4 years and cannot take anymore abuse. My daughter at her young age realises the toxic dad she has and I am proud of her for standing up for herself. She has used the tools and techniques her counsellors have given her, yet when she wants no contact from him, the court punishes me.

It is so frustrating when judges force children to be in a toxic environment and that my daughter doesn’t have a voice.

Her dad filed contempt paperwork and he completely blames me for her feelings and emotions.

What advice do you have and are there are any cases/references I should use in my declaration?

My attorney is good, however my ex’s attorney is a master liar and the judges love him.

How do I act, respond?

How do I act, respond?

I have a new managing director at my work. His transition is complete and the old MD has left. I was the first employee along with the MD so the both of us built the company to 10 employees. And I did everything from accounts, HR, office admin.
So five months down the track of the new managing director he shows and has shown so many traits of being a Narcissist.
It started off by questioning everything I did and micromanaging me, making, requesting changes to his ways. He would give me instructions that I would complete, he then was conflicting of his instructions and I started to become confused. Any reminders or ideas I gave he takes as criticism and the ideas he would grab as his own.
On researching and speaking with psychologist I am finally understanding why he is like this. It’s been suggested that I am a threat to him. All the workers look up to me and they approach me for things and suggestions etc. as they always have for the past four years.
Before actually realising his condition I would stick up for myself and correct him which I now understand makes things worse.
I’m having a meeting with him that he has called to outline my tasks and responsibilities and I know this has come from an email I sent before realising the traits about ways to improve our communication to avoid confusion etc. I know he will turn things around and make things my fault as he has done so often and now I know how to deal with a person like this I can’t be defensive and stand up for what I know is right. I would like to Ask the Audience. In this meeting I’m having “How do I act, respond? I’ve never dealt with someone like this before and in normal cases I would defend myself stand up for what I know is right. But on researching I’m not going to be able to do this.
I’m going to have to be blamed ashamed accused and take it all.
How do I react when this happens? Do I sit there and nod, agree with him, ‘yes sir!’
I’m extremely nervous about the whole thing and suffering anxiety that I’ve never had before.
Any advise would be appreciated.
Thank you

I have lost faith in humanity

I have lost faith in humanity

What about if you were verbally and emotionally abused.. got out as fast as you could but got pregnant and then the narcissist lied… dragged you through mud… hired expensive lawyers and deceived everyone even professionals and me – the victim was not believed. In fact he turned it around to make it seem like he was the victim … sad day and sad news today.. I have lost faith in humanity!

She raised me so I can’t leave

She raised me so I can’t leave

Hi guys. I am not sure if this is considered NDP/abuse and would like to hear from you.

This is my story:
I am a adult in my late 20s. I am married and I love my husband. However, the same cannot be said of my mother. She absolutely hates him and I have been so stressed I am getting depression.

My mother doesn’t make him feel comfortable so he stopped visiting her altogether. I have almost been disowned for marrying my husband and now that we are married, the tension has been worse.

My relationsip with my mother has always been tense since I was young and I am always the odd one out in the family. She raised me after my father passed. We do not connect and I have been terrified of her since I was a child. She has a severe temper and I will always be blamed for her temper because it’s my fault for making her angry. I don’t feel love for her as a mother like one should. I haven’t turned to her for comfort or advice since I was a child. I am blamed for my father’s death (he died of cancer), but when I confront her about this, she said she doesn’t remember and I am absolutely hateful for making this up.

She refused to accept my husband from the start citing reasons that he is rude, has had a bad upbringing and then ridiculed his family in front of him.

When I tried to stand up for us, she said he must have been a bad influence too because I am no longer meek and she can’t stand me. She wishes she was dead and wants to die because of the way I am treating her.

All in all, that’s an average day in my life. She raised me, so I can’t leave as I want to. She blames me for not sharing anything about my life with her, she is angry at me because I am not close to her like a daughter should be and I don’t confide in her.

No matter what I do, it will be my fault, or my husband’s fault. I am scared and full of anxiety all the time. I dont know what to do.

I’ve lost my self esteem and confidence

I’ve lost my self esteem and confidence

I am in the midst of a very ugly divorce with a narcissist, and everything I’ve read thus far describing a narcissist, describes my husband to a ‘T’. And I have fallen prey (after 30 years of marriage and 7 years of dating before that) as the one who has lost her self-esteem and self-confidence in large measure!

I’d love to hear any suggestions relative to going through this divorce.

How do you deal with a narcissistic mother?

How do you deal with a narcissistic mother?

I’d like to know how people deal with a narcissistic mother, particularly where there is a grandchild/children involved. Many cases I’ve read are more about partners.

My situation is briefly this…
My mother is a narcissist. I find that she treats me like a child and makes me feel like a child. Ego wise, she isn’t perhaps as extreme as some cases I’ve read on here, but she very much likes to feel important, likes people to know she’s there. She’s overbearing and controlling, despises my husband and her actions have continually reflected that. I feel she has no personal boundaries. If I say something she did wasn’t appropriate (often after years of putting up and shutting up with so many things, because the fallout is so great), no matter how diplomatically it is conveyed, all Hell breaks loose and then the insults and criticism begin. Same scenario if I make a choice she doesn’t agree with. I wouldn’t know where to begin with all the examples, but she’s never once apologised. She’s never wrong. It’s my fault, or my husband’s, or anyone else’s. Never hers. Then when I try to explain why things upset me etc, she can ignore me for weeks or more or continue with the insults or like now, pretend nothing has happened and act like I’m the one with the issues because I can’t brush the latest antics under the carpet. On a personal note, I find the lack of empathy one of the hardest things to deal with. If someone said to me that something I’d said or done had upset them, my immediate reaction would be to apologise. I’d be mortified.

So.. I’m trying to enable our little one to have grandparents (3 of mine were incredible) but at the same time, wishing I could just walk away from her. It is the biggest mental conflict I’ve ever had. I have no energy for the games or dramas that she brings. I feel sick at the thought of seeing her and being around her. Is it even possible to maintain something for the sake of our little one, but where my involvement is just drop off and pick up (mentally I have no capacity for her anymore), but where there are no family get togethers for birthdays or Christmas etc. I have no idea how that would impact on our little one in the future. It saddens me. However, things have gone too far for that to ever happen. Seeking advice from anyone who has been in a similar scenario. How do people deal with all of this? While making sure that you stay sane and focus on the most important things… your own kids!

How do I divorce the man?

How do I divorce the man?

I own the house. We have been married for a few years and have a 5 year old. We also work together, which oddly enough is a safe zone for me. Hence the reason I started to work there.

How do I divorce the man?

Everyone says pack your stuff and leave. I can’t. It’s my house.

I am so scared!

I dont want him served at work because we both work together literally 20 ft from each other.

I am afraid that he will ruin the house that we have worked so hard on.

I cant have the kid there because of how the husband treats me and I do not want our son to see it. How do I plan this all out? I am so confused.

I’m scared to death

I’m scared to death

Has anyone left an emotionally abusive relationship with a drug addict? I am currently in the process of leaving with my children and I’m losing everything. I’m scared to death. I will be leaving my home to go start fresh in a friend’s basement with nothing. He has stolen from my kids and he has stolen from me. He and all his ‘friends’, our mutual ‘friends’ have lied and been deceitful behind my back. My heart just can’t take it anymore. If anyone has been through something similar, how was it for you? I could really use some words of encouragement right now. I have nobody.

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