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Please please help me, I feel like I’ve no where to

Please please help me, I feel like I’ve no where to

Please please help me, I feel like I’ve no where to turn everything has gone wrong I’m scared I want to give up. I’m pregnant 9 weeks. My first midwife apt is today but I’ve got a big cut down my face. How am I meant to turn up like that? I feel like the minute anyone asks me if I’m ok I’m going to break down. I’m so scared I’ve no money. He has taken it. I can’t even bring myself out of bed now and stop crying. I just want it to end. How can I bring a life into this?

She’s incredibly mean and hateful

She’s incredibly mean and hateful

My dad passed away in 2011. It was a shock. At that time my mom was getting ill with Alzheimer’s. My older sister burst through the front door with tons of papers. Long story short, my parents left her in charge when they passed. For 5 long miserable years, my sister moved in with my mom and me. Took over completely, made my life a living hell. I always knew she was mean but I didn’t know it was this vicious. Over the 5 years I basically took care of my mom while my sister badly dressed her up. Only reason I didn’t leave then was due to my mom. In my teens my parents got a check for me each month but it was in my mom’s name. I never saw any of it. My sister refused to put it in my name at the time. My mom passed away a year ago and I’m still stuck with my sister. She refuses to let me leave and has terrorized me for years by saying I was going to be put in an institution. Just recently I started to realize she couldn’t do that. I’ve noticed how incredibly mean and hateful she is! I saw a pattern and started looking it up and found out she’s a covert narcissist. I’m scared daily of her, never know what attitude she will be in. One minute she’s screaming and yelling at me and then next she will hug me. I’m not saying I’m perfect but goodness gracious! This isn’t normal. Can someone advise me on what to do please?!

I cannot be a part of their toxic dynamic

I cannot be a part of their toxic dynamic

A question/situation I would like the group’s thoughts on…

Long story short, I fell into addiction a couple times and voluntarily gave my two children to live with their father to attend a treatment facility over 5 years ago.  I am still clean and sober.

In my treatment program is where I learned of the dysfunction in my family. I was/am looked down upon for my decisions in life and am not acknowledged by most of my siblings as a part of the family or even a person. (I am the scapegoat.)

Of course our mother is the root of it all and my siblings are still immersed in her damaging behaviour, while still maintaining their own dysfunction. I, on the other hand have maintained a physical distance from them and am always striving to stay emotionally detached from them for my own well being.

Our youngest brother died suddenly 5 years ago and I was shunned by my surviving siblings at the funeral, and from then on we haven’t spoken. I learned that they still feel anger towards me and haven’t changed their mentality.

Every year there is a memorial where the remaining siblings, and our mother get together for a weekend in the mountains. As well as an annual family get together at my deceased brother’s favourite restaurant on his birthday. I have not once been invited, nor informed of these get togethers. I find out about them through Facebook ‘family’ photos of everyone together pretending to be happy.

I had recently gotten the courage to tell my mother that I want nothing to do with her beyond my children (her grandchildren). And have stuck to my decision for the first time in my life.

Suddenly I received a text message from her asking if I want to come to the mountain get together. I was shocked. I was pleased to finally be considered and acknowledged but don’t want to go. I cannot be a part of their toxic dynamic. I can’t sit and pretend it’s okay, and smile for the photos when literally nothing has changed except me.

I find it intriguing that this sudden invitation has come after I put my foot down.

We all know narcissists will try and usually succeed in coaxing us back over and over again (such was my life for over 30 years).
What are your thoughts?

He acts like he didn’t do anything wrong

He acts like he didn’t do anything wrong

I need some advice. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for at least 20 years. We have been married before and we talk about marriage with each other but haven’t done it up because of a situation that came up 3 1/2 years ago. I found out that he was talking to my best friend behind my back and was told from another person that there was more going on. I left him for 2 months after that and then decided to take him back because I felt sorry for him and thought I still loved him. I let her in my home and we did everything together with not knowing what was going on behind my back. He knew she wasn’t my friend and pretend that she was. I know it’s been years since this happened but it is still haunts me. I can’t get over the fact that he let it happen and now I am living with him and so hurt that he could do this with no conscience. He acts like he didn’t do nothing wrong but talk to her behind my back and she would call him to talk about me. All I want is the truth and how he be so innocent that he did this. I guess what I am saying is how do I stay with this man after he did this? When he was married before he did it to his wife as well and now he’s saying he’s changed and he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me but I just can’t go on but not sure if I can just let everything go that we built together. My ex-husband abused me too and I feel so unworthy. Any advice that you could give me would be great. Thanks for your time.

 

I told her to never contact me again

I told her to never contact me again

I really hope that you’re going to help me…

My narc ex girlfriend just invited me to her wedding. I already told her a year before to never ever contact me again after we broke up. I asked her to live our own life separately.

Yesterday she phoned me and asked for a meeting, I reminded her that I am not interested to have anymore contact with her, she asked me as if nothing wrong has ever happened (mind you the discard was brutal, and she right away jumped into another relationship). This morning she asked for my office security to give me her wedding invitation. Why did she do this? I only asked her to leave me alone.

We had been together for five years, and yeah put down, yelling, and name calling were included in it.

What should I do? We have same circle of friends and they did not know how she behaved when we were together for five years.

It still stings and hurts so much…

He fakes pain or being sick

He fakes pain or being sick

You guys are helping me heal. I can’t Thank you enough. I am with a scary master narcissist. I’m planning my strategic escape. Sad to say it that way but true. As he is a dangerous one.

Question: of all of the spot on articles I read I haven’t run across one that talks about the narcissist ‘faking’ pain or being sick.

He does this when he wants to get out of going somewhere or when he wants my attention. This morning he knew I was coming into the room and put on the act big time complaining of back pain. An hour later I came down snuck up on him, watching his totally normal demeanour. Then I made noise letting him know I was there instant I’m in excruciating pain act.

He gets like this when I tell him we need to talk, this needs to end, please be nice, etc. he is although total normal when he goes out to the gym, work, other friends, people I call his fans. Anyway I could go on and on as you know.

Am I imagining this? Or do you really think he’s in pain and I’m
being mean? I am so lost and confused with this asshole. So pathetic because I have a very strong schooling background and a professional in my field. I feel ashamed of myself that I have gone down this horrific downward spiral and was fooled, taken advantage of, made a fool of. Don’t get me wrong, o by no means think I’m better then or above anyone. It’s all me I am disappointed in myself.

I’m so broken

I’m so broken

I went back to my narc a couple of weeks ago.  While she was here, she found out I was making some research and reading books about narcs, it hurt her (I’m assuming) but after finding out, she became really nice to me (I guess because she doesn’t want to be known that way). After a week of love bombing and so much sweetness, during the weekend, she began being cold, and neglects me, she would posts things on social media talking about how a person who is confident about herself to not beg and ask someone to love them.

I’m now so broken, before she returned, I already prepared myself for the take-off but she became so sweet, the kind of person anyone would want to be with, and now she’s gone again. With, of course, a lot of reasons behind her being cold and silent treatment. Please help me. What should I do? Are they really like that? Shows you so much love, ideally a perfect normal relationship, and come another day, they leave without any reason (well, not that I know of). I’m so broken I don’t know what to do with this anymore.

Hoping to hear from all of you and eventually follow and listen to your responses. Many thanks

I feel so weak and vulnerable

I feel so weak and vulnerable

I believe the person I just got out of a relationship is a true narcissist or sociopath and even though I have known this for months it still hurts so bad right now. I feel like he is purposely doing things to hurt me. We were together for a year and a half he’s always been very insecure and would comment on the fact I had male friends and would say things like he couldn’t believe I would date somebody like him and that I’d realize I could do better and leave but I never wanted that I was so in love with him and wanted nothing more than to be with him. Things started to get rocky when I started showing signs of jealousy and would get upset when he’d like other girls pictures on Facebook or Instagram. If he was down and I’d ask him what was wrong he would explode at me and tell me I was projecting on to him that there was something wrong with me and I was being untrustworthy. He would ask for breaks and then always come back with new female friends I had never seen or heard of. We did have good times he’d have me spend a lot of nights at his house and took me on two really beautiful vacations. In November he had broken up with me claiming it was because of my extreme projection of jealousy and if I could learn to trust him we could be together in this time we were communicating and occasionally sleeping together but he made it very clear we weren’t together so I decided one day to talk to somebody else and went to lunch with them and then shortly cut it off because I didn’t feel ready he got wind of it and totally lost it. He told everyone I was a lying cheating whore. He came to my house and grabbed my phone out of my hand and went through my messages and saw messages I exchanged with my best friend that didn’t say anything nice about him and he became so angry I had to get my uncle to get h to leave later on that night he started messaging everybody we knew and called my job I’m a nurse and told them I was on drugs and stealing from my patients and almost made me lose my license. I ended up getting a restraining order but I was devastated I felt like the coming days I didn’t know what happened and then on Christmas he messaged me violating the order knowing he could go to prison and I was so vulnerable I felt if he was willing to do that maybe he was really sorry and loved me so I agreed to meet and talk to him he was so sad and I felt so loved we went on up until 2 weeks ago constantly breaking up and making up and I told myself in my head if we could get through to when the restraining order was up we would be fine we talked about taking vacations when it was up and everything then two weeks ago I discovered he was talking to his ex gf who he had an on and off relationship with for 8 years prior to me I always felt very insecure about this girl knowing this because he would tell me they were just friends well come to find out they had been going out on dates still and I totally lost my mind I emailed her and told her everything be she never responded my ex told me we’d never get back together and gave me the silent treatment for 4 days last week then contacted me on Thursday to reinforce the fact we’re never going to get back together because I’m scary when I get angry and he can’t risk going to prison he kept calling and messaging me then showed up at my house Saturday night and we slept together because clearly I never learn my lesson and after he told me there was still not a chance of working anything out because we don’t trust each other. I didn’t talk to him all day Sunday and then asked him to come stay the night because I missed him I expressed Monday after noon I still wanted something with him and he refused so I said I understood and didn’t talk to him until last night when I discovered on his Facebook through a mutual friend he was still communicating with his ex gf so I messaged both of them I feel so ashamed of myself I don’t understand why I can’t just let this go a huge part of me wants to move on for good where the other part desperately wants him to come back. He never replied to my messages which hurts tremendously. I don’t understand how one day he loves me and cares and the next can just throw me away like trash I’ve never been so depressed I feel so weak and vulnerable I had to share my story with you. Do you have any insight at all what I should expect or do have you ever heard a similar story? I don’t know what to do 😞
Could her husband have turned her into a narcissist?

Could her husband have turned her into a narcissist?

Since I found your Facebook page several months ago, I have gone to it just about every day. I have a question, can someone be turned into a narc, if they have been married to a narc, for a long time, in this case almost 25 years.  When I know for a fact this was NOT the case before the marriage and a good 7-8 years after and slowly but surely seems to me had happened! Neither one of them now will take responsibility for anything and do nothing but play them blame game, have no respect and worst of all talk over me whenever I speak and try to reason.  If I can get a minute’s break, It’s seems my words are not heard, the quite is just long enough to continue to run her/ their agenda, hardly ever validating and acknowledge anything! The insults fly and constantly justifying anything and everything thing, good bad or indifferent! It’s frustrating, infuriating, and heart-breaking too.

So can this be a learned behaviour for survival, or brainwashing?
How sad our society has become that it is seemingly everyone has this in their lives! And this is really heart-breaking, it’s my daughter, but I’ve seen on the page I’m by far alone there either.  Could her husband have turned her into a narc?  No matter thank you, from everything I’ve read on the page and her behaviour, disrespectful,  taking no responsibility for anything, blaming, hurtful  words, her behaviour is a mirror image of what her husband’s has always been, after almost 25 years of marriage! She is not the girl I raised and had a very good relationship with. I do not know that person! Her husband has succeeded in tearing our tiny family apart. Sorry for going on, I need a therapist, I’m senior and need to find out if it’s covered. I stopped crying a while ago because now it’s a callous on my heart but I cried a river over the last 16 plus years.