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I don’t know how to stop loving him

I don’t know how to stop loving him

I don’t know how to post anonymously but I’m going through a really bad time.

I left an abusive man 6 months ago, we we’re living abroad and he had been found guilty of domestic violence against me. I kept leaving and going back and in the end my friends felt they couldn’t help me so I returned to the UK in the hope that distance would make leaving easier.
I know everyone says go no contact but that’s not as easy as it seems. I have been having counselling from an abuse charity taking meds for depression and anxiety but I was still listening to his lies. He booked a wedding booked a flight for me to go back in a month and then last night bang! I’m not happy with a photo you put on social media if you don’t take it off the weddings off. I said no I won’t you won’t tell me what  I can and can’t do. Then he started that a male had liked the photo he was a pervert something must be going on between us. He messaged the man who I’d never spoken to, he is a friend of a friend, and threatened him to stay away from me he then proceeded to tell me he thought he must be paying me for sex!!!!

I have now blocked him but how do I stop myself in those low moments when I miss him from making contact. I don’t know how to stop loving him

Am I just being sensitive?

Am I just being sensitive?

So my husband left me in January. It seemed so very sudden to me. But the longer I’m away from the situation, the more I start questioning if he was a narcissist. He constantly lives in the past, his high school years where he was an actor in theatre. He talks about how he misses it and it was the best time of his life, mostly because he felt “appreciated.”  He was a sweet, charming and loving man, until a bit after we were married, when I found out I was pregnant. We had a honeymoon baby. I always felt like it was such an inconvenience for me. To be pregnant though he played for the most part the doting husband until a bit after the baby was born. I remember, thanksgiving, when we were going to announce the pregnancy, his “back” went out in this super dramatic fashion and suddenly, he was the centre of attention.  After we had been married for a year,  I found out (we hadn’t connected our banking accounts) that he had been racking up loan after loan and spending his pay checks on stupid things,  but using the loan money for the bills. When I found out, we were 8k in debt. A year later, I found on his email, subscriptions to sites similar to Ashley Madison. He told me that someone had hacked his info and created accounts in his name. I believed him temporarily, until it continued after a while. For the last two years I’ve had a feeling that he was cheating on me, but he always deflected and made me feel like I was going crazy and that my post partum depression was really bad. I ended up getting on anti-depressants because I was convinced it was me. A year before he left me, I found messages on his phone that he couldn’t wait to leave the nag (me) and also messages to people claiming he was sleeping with someone else. He came up with some really convincing excuses and I took him back. Now that he is gone, I dropped the anti-depressants and I feel better than I have in years. He only comes to visit his son once a week (he totalled two cars while we were together so he has no vehicle right now) but sometimes when he’s here all he does is fall asleep on the couch and sometimes I feel like he does it on purpose to piss me off or some other reason. His son never really gets any quality time with him and it’s sad. He’s only two and he wants a consistent male in his life so bad. So my question is, based on what I’ve said here, is there a possibility that my ex is a narcissist? And is the falling asleep thing a possible abusive behavior on his part? Or am I just being ridiculously sensitive right now?
Also, I know he is dating someone. He’s only admitted it once, but I wonder, should I try to warn her or will it cause more problems on my end if I do?
He is going to fight me for everything

He is going to fight me for everything

Now he is going to fight me for everything.  Last week it was, “I don’t care what you do… Take the house and the kids.” Now today it’s, “I just want to let you know that this is going to be ugly and I’m going to fight to sell the house and I’m fighting for total custody.”  I’m done.  I just want to die. I don’t have enough fight left in me anymore.

Where am I going to live?  I don’t have money to fight him in court.  I was going to get this divorce on a free fee because he wasn’t contesting it and I have no money.  The prothonotary was waving the filing fees.  The kids are going to get up rooted and live where?  Different schools… Who is going to watch them during the day?  He is fighting for complete custody no visitation nothing.  Who does that?  Satan?

Discussion Board

Discussion Board

Let’s take a hypothetical situation. You see the narcissist who hurt you deeply struggling in the water. You are in a position to throw them a life belt. Would you?

Discussion Board

Discussion Board

Narcissists regularly employ ‘The Silent Treatment’ as a means of control and / or
punishment which is devastating to those they target. Have you been subjected to this cruel mind game? If so how did it make you feel and how did you react?

Does he bait me to provoke this?

Does he bait me to provoke this?

Is there anyone to help me understand why I can’t be good? He with holds things from me when I’m bad. And blames my behaviour and attitude for his reason why.  Does he bait me to provoke this he ask for my opinion then withholds emotions and love won’t speak to me. This hurts and I haven’t learned yet to stay quiet   Please help me understand
Discussion Board

Discussion Board

I’m sure most of you have been witness to ‘narcissistic rage,’ which is not unlike a childhood temper tantrum. How did you react? Did you stand your ground or walk away?

Discussion Board

Discussion Board

Ostracism has been described as ‘a social death penalty’ and is absolutely devastating to the target. Sadly it is a tactic often used by narcissists. Have you been a target and how did you deal with it?

Discussion Board

Discussion Board

A child of a narcissist parent may grow up with feelings of low self esteem, feelings of never being good enough. How did your narcissistic parent affect how you feel about yourself?