So my husband left me in January. It seemed so very sudden to me. But the longer I’m away from the situation, the more I start questioning if he was a narcissist. He constantly lives in the past, his high school years where he was an actor in theatre. He talks about how he misses it and it was the best time of his life, mostly because he felt “appreciated.” He was a sweet, charming and loving man, until a bit after we were married, when I found out I was pregnant. We had a honeymoon baby. I always felt like it was such an inconvenience for me. To be pregnant though he played for the most part the doting husband until a bit after the baby was born. I remember, thanksgiving, when we were going to announce the pregnancy, his “back” went out in this super dramatic fashion and suddenly, he was the centre of attention. After we had been married for a year, I found out (we hadn’t connected our banking accounts) that he had been racking up loan after loan and spending his pay checks on stupid things, but using the loan money for the bills. When I found out, we were 8k in debt. A year later, I found on his email, subscriptions to sites similar to Ashley Madison. He told me that someone had hacked his info and created accounts in his name. I believed him temporarily, until it continued after a while. For the last two years I’ve had a feeling that he was cheating on me, but he always deflected and made me feel like I was going crazy and that my post partum depression was really bad. I ended up getting on anti-depressants because I was convinced it was me. A year before he left me, I found messages on his phone that he couldn’t wait to leave the nag (me) and also messages to people claiming he was sleeping with someone else. He came up with some really convincing excuses and I took him back. Now that he is gone, I dropped the anti-depressants and I feel better than I have in years. He only comes to visit his son once a week (he totalled two cars while we were together so he has no vehicle right now) but sometimes when he’s here all he does is fall asleep on the couch and sometimes I feel like he does it on purpose to piss me off or some other reason. His son never really gets any quality time with him and it’s sad. He’s only two and he wants a consistent male in his life so bad. So my question is, based on what I’ve said here, is there a possibility that my ex is a narcissist? And is the falling asleep thing a possible abusive behavior on his part? Or am I just being ridiculously sensitive right now?
Also, I know he is dating someone. He’s only admitted it once, but I wonder, should I try to warn her or will it cause more problems on my end if I do?
Would really like to know how people reacted and felt when they were told that the narcissistic parent who controlled their life was terminally ill.
Let’s take a hypothetical situation. You see the narcissist who hurt you deeply struggling in the water. You are in a position to throw them a life belt. Would you?
Narcissists regularly employ ‘The Silent Treatment’ as a means of control and / or
punishment which is devastating to those they target. Have you been subjected to this cruel mind game? If so how did it make you feel and how did you react?
Is there anyone to help me understand why I can’t be good? He with holds things from me when I’m bad. And blames my behaviour and attitude for his reason why. Does he bait me to provoke this he ask for my opinion then withholds emotions and love won’t speak to me. This hurts and I haven’t learned yet to stay quiet Please help me understand
I’m sure most of you have been witness to ‘narcissistic rage,’ which is not unlike a childhood temper tantrum. How did you react? Did you stand your ground or walk away?
Ostracism has been described as ‘a social death penalty’ and is absolutely devastating to the target. Sadly it is a tactic often used by narcissists. Have you been a target and how did you deal with it?
A child of a narcissist parent may grow up with feelings of low self esteem, feelings of never being good enough. How did your narcissistic parent affect how you feel about yourself?