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I’m so confused

I’m so confused

When he realises your leaving and becomes nice again. How do you cope with the guilt of his actions he is now saying, a lot of the behaviour is his way of showing he cares? I’m so confused I don’t want him to loose house or anything I just want to leave.

Discussion Board

Discussion Board

👄 Did the narcissist in your life fail to return your possessions when the relationship ended?  My ex partner held on to a substantial amount of my clothes, shoes etc.  Is it theft?  It certainly is when they have no intention of returning them.  Narcissists are renowned for keeping your belongings.  Perhaps they do this so that you will beg for their return.  It is a sign of power and control.  Did you just let it go?

 

Can someone be manipulated by a narcissist from afar?

Can someone be manipulated by a narcissist from afar?

I mean I’m new to this, I didn’t know much about narcissists or manipulation tactics until more recently. I’ve spent so many years feeling worthless and confused and keep in mind, I gave this person a chance originally because he made me feel more amazing than any guy had made me feel close by. I don’t know what it was but he convinced me that we were soulmates and that our future was so bright. (I mean now that I look back, all of this was thrown at me so fast, even before I ever really expressed caring about him.)

then out of nowhere, he’d be so aggressive and he’d ignore me for days or weeks. He’d get mad if I needed to be there for my family. He’d expect me to come visit even after doing all of this…but part of me just couldn’t, maybe because I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t right and I didn’t want my daughter to be stuck in the situation too. He’d lie to me about things then when I addressed them, he’d deny it no matter how overwhelmed it made me. Then when he could no longer cover up that lie, he’d admit and basically say “what’s the big deal?”

He’s called me names just for going out with friends on occasions. He would accuse me of cheating if I liked a certain picture on social media, even though all he ever did was like pictures of half naked women. Anytime I addressed any of this, it took weeks and it’s like..it was never resolved, all I’d hear is that I don’t appreciate anything or that he’s stressed out. He’s told me so many times in so many ways that I am worthless. He’ll withdraw for long periods of time and claim to have no idea what I’m talking about once it’s mentioned…then when I stand my ground, he’ll say that he did it because I did something else wrong and he was upset about it apparently.

To make matters worse, I’ve tried to end the relationship many times during all of this and it’s like he’ll threaten suicide or he’ll get really aggressive and he’ll rant about all of my supposed wrong doings..

Like I’ve tolerated a lot and it’s like he’s making me feel like I owe him my presence when he’s already made me miserable and confused from afar..

I don’t want my son to be hurt

I don’t want my son to be hurt

Hi… I’m new to all of this but I’m learning that my mum is a narcissist. I am trying to get out, but I have a young son who will miss his grandmother… I don’t want my son to be hurt in the same ways I’ve been hurt and abused… what do I do?

Are they living the dream?

Are they living the dream?

So my husband -18 years and I have two kids. Been together since teens. He always been controlling and his way or no way. We have always fought, when he gets mad shuts down sometimes doesn’t talk for weeks/months. Early in the relationship unsure if cheating. But as cell phones became more advanced I caught him. 2010 he was having an affair with this girl from school. I caught him several times once even at a hotel and he had an excuse always. No sorry nothing. It wasn’t what it seemed is what I was told. We finally moved to another town and I suspected cheating. I finally caught him and he literally blew up packed his shit and moved in with the 21 year he was Messing with (he’s 38 at this time) . She was married at the time and also had two kids. She walked out on them as well and r left me and my kids. Still says they don’t sleep together they are roommates. Blah blah blah

Presently we are still married we don’t live in the same town and this has been three years now .yes I know the deal and not sure why I’ve been blind. He still plays games saying they are not in a relationship etc. I believe he is a narcissistic bipolar. Anyhow she cheated on him recently with a girl she worked with for almost a year now. She moved out of her house that he still stayed in (even though he’s not on the lease) and now has moved back I’m with him. My questions are, are they really happy. Is isn’t real love. Did he really forgive her? Are they living the dream? I thought this would be his karma but no.

Am I wrong to want revenge?

Am I wrong to want revenge?

Am I wrong to want revenge? I have never felt pain like it and I have been through some tough shit. I’ve fought in several campaigns. I’m not a weak man by a long shot but this was different. She played with my mind and my heart. How does anyone get over that when someone who you would have given your life for, abuses your trust? I got endless silent treatments. She put me down. She told lie after lie. Eventually she ghosted me, ignored my calls and texts, and wouldn’t make eye contact if I tried to speak to her. Why? How to they get off in treating someone like this? I treated her well and would have done anything for her. We were together for ten years, breaking up when she was annoyed, silent treatment for weeks and then back together again. I thought she would eventually see that she was happy with me. She seemed to be a lot of the time. She’s got no real friends. Nobody meets her high standards. I don’t think her kids even care about her. Am I bad wanting her to live a life of regret? Wanting her to pay for what she did to me and no doubt the ones before me? She deserves all the bad luck that life can throw at her.

How did you leave?

How did you leave?

When you finally decided that you were DONE, what opened your eyes, how did you leave, how soon did you do it, and looking back what if anything would you have done differently?

The first three weeks were great but then it all started

The first three weeks were great but then it all started

I’m reaching out for any advice/help. I have been in a relationship with someone who has been a very close friend of mine. We have known each other for 28+ years, he was married for 15 years, that ended and three weeks later had another female move in. That relationship ended and two months after that him and I started dating. For the first 6 months we lived in separate states, me in South Carolina and him in our home state of Boston. He would come visit every two weeks and buy me so many things, send me flowers and constantly tell me how beautiful I was how much he loved me and would show affection. He made me smile, laugh and feel loved. Fast forward to this past May. Myself and 15 year old son moved back to Boston (were were engaged on April Fools) and moved in with him and his two children. The first three weeks were great but then it all started. The affection slowly ended, he would get angry over the smallest things i.e.; couldn’t find his belt, lost money that he threw somewhere the kids especially the boys would constantly have to do hours of work in the summer. He got so mad that he’s thrown a chair threw the porch window and threw the microwave, he’s punched out a car window and smeared blood in my face. He’s called the children “disrespectful M’fers”. Has called me numerous names over and over. Blames everyone else of things go wrong it’s never his fault. I finally lost it last Friday night and yelled at him, called him names slapped him and left. He called the cops on me as I was driving. Now he keeps trying to get me back. Saying he wants this to work he wants to fix us he wants to be better and is in tears. I’ve decided to move back to SC and get my life back. Is it typical of a narcissist to put on the sad, upset wanting to make it work attitude? Is it because he doesn’t have control of the situation and I do? He says we owe it to ourselves to try one more time but my head is telling me I’ve given him plenty of chances. I have never been in this type of relationship and I don’t know what it’s like. Please any advice would be great. Thank you

Has anyone dealt with this kind of circus?

Has anyone dealt with this kind of circus?

I had an abusive husband for almost 5 years and we had a child together. And he would do shit to make everything my fault or the kids’ fault. Nothing was ever his fault, of course. Until the abuse turned physical and punched me in the face and then beat me while I was down. In front of our baby and my older son heard the fight and phoned the county police. Well it took me time to get on my feet to make sure my kids were okay and we could live on our own. And i did finally! Then I started seeing my high school sweetheart and he was just coming or starting the start of his separation. My divorce was quick and my boyfriends was not. Almost 3 yrs. And we went through some crap with that with him just trying to get his equal time with his daughter. She is a complete mental case. And me and the boyfriend became engaged and we were set for his final court hearing for his final hearing. And we set our wedding date. And with doing this. His ex-wife must have contacted my crazy ex-husband on wonderful Facebook. We got married and thought we would finally be free of all the constant crap. Nope she went even lower to date my ex-husband, even after seeing police reports and knowing how he is. I guess a pay check is more important to her.

My thing is I have 2 psychos feeding into each other and my ex hasn’t seen his baby in 17 months and now in the same town. Probably even across the street from us at her parents’ house and doesn’t even ask for his son. But has anyone dealt with this kind of circus in their life? She has found a way to keep the abuser at arm’s length and she is just as bad to my ex.

We just want our kids to be okay and they aren’t! And everyone that knows this thinks this is so weird and just really messed up.

He ruined me and broke me

He ruined me and broke me

Looking for any help. He ruined me and broke me resulting in me giving him full custody of our son almost 2 years ago. I haven’t seen my son since. If you can provide any insight on this kind of situation or have any direction to point me in, I would greatly appreciate it. He of course put a LOT of time and effort into it resulting in my decision. I have 13 years of documentation of honestly unbeleivable things he has done…well not so unbeleivable after recently coming across narcissistic abuse.