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My ex tries to use God against me

My ex tries to use God against me

How can one show an abusive ex spouse, his flying monkey crew is on social media stalking & taunting you? (sending messages to the Pastors/life coach portraying him as the victim and me having a non expired Protection Order against him, despite his name is blocked.)

My ex always tried using God against me and his family tried telling me if and when & If I ever left him that God’s gonna get me/I’m in Gods hands meaning gloom in doom
I’m the devil yea ok !

Now since I’ve obtained a Permanent protection order/Non Expire!!! he’s scared I’m gonna collect CS & seeing negative patterns repeated Smear campaigns, indirectly making my name look bad, him breaking the PPO by 3rd party subliminal messages.

I know it’s him, hating fan club because when I try to leave a few times in the past he always calls my former pastor, telling the pastor to make me reconcile, go back to him, he always begged others via social media for prayers, using his emotions to manipulate others playing a good victim.

Do I just ignore it?

Do I just ignore it?


I am searching for an answer to a specific question. I have a narcissistic mother (81 years old) and have a question I have been searching for answers without success. I have limited contact with her at this point in my life. I’m 50 and have a grandchild of my own. When I have to be around her she takes every opportunity to take jabs at me. My question is how do I respond in the moment to this type of behavior? Do I just ignore it/her or tell her it bothers me? I DO NOT want to give her the “high” shes looking for and want to respond in a way that will be best for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

He’s using the house against me

He’s using the house against me

My narcissistic brother who clearly got his traits from my mother has ramped up his controlling nasty behaviour towards me. We unfortunately bought a house 12 year ago as an investment and over the years I’ve lived there, he’s lived there or it’s been let out. Last 6 years he’s been in the property paying for it etc, until about 3 years ago he defaulted every month as he was spending money on drugs , obviously I kicked off as I have a mortgage with my partner and I’d receive horrible texts off him along the lines off “I am disgusted with your lack of pity towards me” we both have endured so much as siblings!! So any way that’s not all, I had my little boy and he never came and seen me for 6 weeks, ‘obviously jealous’ he’s always seemed to have this jealousy towards my partner for taking his sister away , bear in mind I’ve always looked after him until I met my partner and realised he was vile towards me!! He even told his army boss once when he went out drinking and didn’t turn up for parade that he was in hospital as his sister had been diagnosed with cancer!!! So the house, he’s lived in it till last year I asked him to sell it, he let it out to someone without telling me and he failed affordability check to take it on himself, and now he said if his tenant moves out ( he’s told me he will ) he wont be paying anything towards it , he said he’s going bankrupt and he’s helping me !!! He also as normal keeps being so aggressive and nasty even if I’m civil towards him and constantly says I’m a nasty piece of work just like your mother ( she’s also a narc) who I have no contact with , I really dont know how to get away from him , even if he goes bankrupt he’s still on mortgage and the controlling abuse never stops he’s using this house against me.

I feel completely numb

I feel completely numb


Hi there, I only came across your group tonight, which in fact I should have years ago.
Six years ago I started a secret relationship with a married man(which I am not proud of) that was everything I’d ever wanted. Handsome, charming, soft spoken, kind. But things quickly turned sour and I found this MR Right turning into a manipulative and evil individual. He put me down in every possible way, criticizing my appearance, lifestyle, education, family, character…
Not to mention that I found out very soon in the relationship that he had several sexual relationships with women that were not quite appropriate for his exquisite taste.
There was so much pain, low self esteem, self hatred on my part that I sometimes wonder how is it possible that a reasonably bright, fairly attractive woman with a bubbly personality turned into this pile of mess?
He made me believe I was crazy, paranoid, jealous and stupid.
Since I always sensed his dishonesty I found proof of his constant lies and deceit 2 weeks ago.
When I very gently exposed that what he’d told me wasn’t exactly accurate, he slammed the phone down and cut all contact.
I tried to phone back but I don’t exist anymore.I even blamed myself for exposing his lies.
After two weeks of insomnia, anti depressants, alcohol and extreme emotional and physical pain I feel completely numb at times, then totally hysterical at others.
I would be most grateful for some advice.

Am I better off staying single?

Am I better off staying single?

I was married to a Narc for almost 20 years and dated another for nearly 3 years only to find out he was lying and cheating, possibly the entire relationship but I know for sure recently because I found the evidence on his phone. How can I ever trust a man again? The bf knew my story and how my ex husband treated me yet he did so much worse. Now I’m terrified to trust myself not to end up with a third one just like them. Am I better off just staying single?

THE NARCISSIST AND RELIGION

THE NARCISSIST AND RELIGION

The religious narcissist will see God as perfect, infallible, the all-powerful figure, not unlike how they see themselves.

Beware of the spiritual narcissist who wraps themselves up in the mantle of Godliness. They may go to their place of worship every week and fool the congregation into believing that are a good person with high morals. They can quote scripture and act righteous. They may even be the minister, the pastor or the priest. Being the head of the church, they would have many followers, obedient people who hang on their every word and people who look up to them for guidance. What a wonderful source of narcissistic supply! (Of course, I am not saying that all people who are preachers or who go to church are narcissistic, but there are some!) Not everyone who claims to be a follower of The Church, Synagogue or Mosque is a good person.

‘Proverbs 4 v 16
For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble.’

The religious narcissist is the greatest of hypocrites, judging others and preaching about fire and brimstone for the wicked and for the unfaithful. Everyone appears to be bound for hell, except them. They use religion for their own ends, to build themselves up whilst tearing others down. If they are your parent you will undoubtedly hear, ‘Honour thy father and thy mother’. Now that’s a difficult commandment for anyone to abide by if they have a narcissistic parent.

Narcissists use religion to control and manipulate by inducing fear. Children of narcissistic parents are forbidden to hold their own views on religion. There is no room for differences of opinion. These children often grow up scared witless, fearing death believing they are destined for an eternity in hell.

The spiritual narcissist may:

  • Not practice what they preach. (Their behaviour is not likely to match their words.)
  • Want to be at the heart of church activities such as prayer meetings and services.
  • Display extreme devoutness.
  • Put others down by pointing out their shortcomings all in the name of God.
  • Think they know the Bible. (Quoting verses from the Bible which back up their views, feigning an excellent knowledge. They will recite verses which point out how right they are and of course, how mistaken you are.)
  • Tell you that the Bible teaches you to forgive and forget.
  • Make you feel that your opinions aren’t worth considering. They are right. You are wrong. There’s no happy medium.

Many people stay in toxic relationships because they believe that their religion demands that they should forgive. They have been conditioned to believe that they should turn the other cheek.

Perhaps this verse from the Bible will let people see this logic from another angle.

‘2 Timothy Ch. 3 v 1-7
But understand this that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of Godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.’

Written by Anne McCrea

Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse, Shattering the Illusion, now available on Amazon

Amazon UK

Amazon US

Should I run?

Should I run?

Looking for advice….have a friend who is very charming and likeable by everyone but I’ve started noticing some things about him that concerns me…..blames all his failed relationships on the other person, constantly makes fun of others for the same things he does, when confronted with a problem he tries to make it look like it’s my fault and when you do get an apology its “I don’t think I did anything wrong, but sorry.” Makes comments that previous women still want him, at times comes off very arrogant like he can do whatever he wants. Should I run before it’s too late?

This isn’t love

This isn’t love

This isn’t love – silly girl. Tears and fear. That’s what you call love? Yeah, so he bought you a dozen roses after that last fight. He got you a new pair of shoes that he chose for you. Not your style, not at all. But you wore them anyway. Remember when he made you go change your hair because you looked like a skunk and there was no way he’d be seen with you in public looking like that. The day his ex’s picture hung from your fridge and you begged for it to be removed. He told you she was more beautiful than you. Love? This is love to you? That laugh… remember that laugh when you asked if the girl on tv was prettier than you? The comments after that made you realize never to ask such a thing again. Pushed to floor at seven months. He didn’t mean too push so hard. If you weren’t top heavy you wouldn’t never have fallen. The excuses… oh why did you believe them all? The pink pants and new sweater from your mother-in-law… you loved that outfit. Remember how it got torn? The day he kicked you out and you weren’t leaving fast enough. The push down a stair then he grabbed that sweater so you wouldn’t fall more. He saved you. Right? That is love. Wait… who pushes those they love? Who pushes them down the stairs? The bruise to your arm… not a big deal. The cut on your face when he got carried away. Oh who cares… but what about the bruises on your babies head? Who protected him? Oh that’s right… it was justified. The excuses. You believed them all. It really wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t what it looked like. Still think this is okay? This is love…? He says it is, so it must be. Every excuse and reason no matter how crazy or silly they seem… You believe him… it all happened his way. Marriage was the cure. That would fix it all. Right? Oh goodness girl. What were you thinking? Night one… big fight and he tore up that marriage licence. Oh wait remember the fight before the wedding? How he made you plead and beg… Not sure now what exactly was said that day… but no one should ever feel like that. Name calling. Swearing. Yelling. That is what you call love? Movie nights…romantic and sweet, right? Not even close. Those were always something you feared. Falling alseep wasn’t allowed because if you did so you would get pushed to the floor. Waking up as your falling. Oh those were the days. People have it so much worse. This is true. He really is a great guy and can be so sweet. Maybe so. Together though… you both deserve so much more. Separation. Dating. Been there. Together again. Everything is better, right? Name calling doesn’t happen nearly as often. Curfews will always be there. Phone calls. Oh so many to see where you are. Don’t be late or it will still be a fight. He’d never lay a hand on you that’s a fact. But the silent treatments that last for days. The yelling. Oh it still hurts. He loves you. This is so. Wait? Love… is this love? Remember when you wanted a baby? He agreed to try but only if you repaid him every single time you’d try. He needed something in return for…whatever he wanted. Oh girl. Explain yourself again. You are not just a joke. You are stronger… oh so much stronger than you think….

Anonymous

Is this common?

Is this common?

How many of you, after surviving a relationship with a narcissist, have experienced a loss of (spiritual) faith? My lifelong faith in God is something I never thought I would lose hold of, and after an 11 year marriage to a narcissist, and a successful escape, it is gone. I wonder if this is common?

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