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I’m so hurt

I’m so hurt

Hi, I am in a mess. My property manager is a narcissist.  I put in paperwork to get a comfort animal the last week of March. She told me it takes the owner months to get one. She kept asking if I had a cat, I said no, I follow the rules. So I call cooperate yesterday and the have no record of her sending it. And it takes about a week! The lady at cooperate emailed her and told her to send it again. I am so hurt, upset and confused why someone would do this?
Thanks for listening.

Can they become a narcissist?

Can they become a narcissist?

Can a victim of someone who claims to have been abused by a narcissistic person become a narcissist themselves?

It seems that it happened to me but looking back it appears that she displayed the traits of a narcissist. Always about her appearance and always making comments about all these guys wanting her. To me that seems to be someone who needs that constant praise and self worth.

If you don’t give me what I want I’ll make sure your life’s hell

If you don’t give me what I want I’ll make sure your life’s hell

Has anyone else felt that their abusers turn to their church home or and huge ministries for prayers, pointing the fingers, blaming everyone else but themselves?  Narcs are always victims, we’re of the devil simply because we won’t be their financial spiritual mental door mats of toxicity, we’re supposed to fight basically prove we’re worth to be loved, respected basically be miserable on the account of people who really don’t care and only hear one side have no experience or
understanding of any types of abuse & basically it’s like narc can mentally emotional financial spiritual physically hurt  and abuse their family, hate blame others & start hate groups, if they just happen to get their stuff together.   We owe them our lives, have to reconcile but they’ve never had to suffer what or any judgements or karma! It’s like I can stab you blame you and look I even called for help, I’m actually good you have no choices if you don’t give me what I want I’ll make sure your life’s hell
and slander your name playing the victim blame game and I’m always
right.

 

We are alone in our grief.

We are alone in our grief.

How do others handle the lack of support over the loss of their adult son/daughter due to their offspring staying in a narcissistic marriage?

Often the son/daughter has no clue that their spouse is narcissistic (unless they have prior experience and are educated in narcissistic PD). The NPD spouse is very manipulative, fooling their partner that they met the perfect match and then over time whittling away their partner’s friends and family members while convincing their partner that those friends and family are the problem. And it’s difficult to see a once loving parent-offspring relationship turn into the parents being cruelly treated and then blamed for the cruelty. And then the son/daughter and their NPD spouse play the victims and victim blame while increasing the maltreatment and distancing of the parents and siblings because they voiced their dislike of how they’re being mistreated.

People who’ve lost a son/daughter, brother, sister, or grandchild because of death are allowed to share their grief and have support from others. They get extra support  on the birthdays, holidays, and dates related to the deceased. They can post about their loss, share memories and their continued times of missing their loved one. However, those who’ve lost their son/daughter, brother/sister, or grandchild who is still alive, yet no longer have contact because of their son’s/daughter’s narcissistic spouse have no such support. And they’re constantly reminded of how alone they are in their grief every time they see the outpouring of love and support for those with a deceased loved one. And due to social norms parents who lost their son/daughter due to the SIL/DIL’s narcissistic manipulation, controlling, scapegoating, gaslighting and other abusive behaviours are expected to keep silent about the abuse that led to the loss.

Do others share with Facebook friends their story of such loss due to NPD? Does a wider audience other than your closest friends and immediate family know that you lost a son/daughter/grandchild due to the NPD? Or do you keep silent in fear of being further blamed because the NPD has been trash taking you, making up lies in their scapegoating of you? Our NPD DIL has raged and lied so much that we won’t be alone with her and our son ever again. We no longer see our son and grandchildren, there’s no contact. We lost the son we knew, and will ever know our grandchildren, yet are alone in our grief, and no one says “so sorry for your loss” and no one shares good memories of him before he was forever changed and gone.

So, is there a grief support group for such parents and siblings? If not there should be. And I’m asking for something more than informative and supportive NPD Facebook groups (very helpful groups) because they’re not a good location for this needed support since the posts/comments can be seen by others like the NPD and their flying monkey enablers which then adds fuel to the fire.

Thanks for the help.

Will I always be this way?

Will I always be this way?

I was in very bad dysfunctional narcissistic relationship, he was a pathological liar for years about every thing and any thing… He had a second life with another woman while living with me . He lied to the other woman and told her he was in Bosnia fighting the war while he was living with me helping with bills and playing house. I then found out he regularly visits escorts as well.

Well fast forward it’s been 2 years since the initial break up and 1 year since no contact.   I recently started seeing someone new and we have been spending a little bit more time together last night when we started to become a bit intimate I asked him to leave, I was having an anxiety attack and not just a small one but like full blown I needed to be by myself.  He was respectful and left.

Will I always be this way?  I am hurt and just want my life to be normal again, I want to be able to be open to love again.

Is there a limit to how many times they will hoover?

Is there a limit to how many times they will hoover?

I was discarded by my ex fiancé (female) in the most abrupt & hurtful way one year ago. I’m a male who is still rather emotionally raw and hurt but trying to move on and this page DOES help massively.

Just last week she sent me a Facebook Messenger chat request trying to connect with me (under a different surname which I think she created a new account since I blocked her.)

I was able to see a snippet of the message without opening it. It simply said ‘Hi, how are you?’  I didn’t respond to the message but I suspect it is hoovering.

Does anyone else think she was hoovering and why do Narcissists do this even when they make it clear they don’t want you in their life anymore?

Is there a limit to how many times they will hoover?

What should I do?

What should I do?

Sorry it’s long winded pleas bear with me. I’ve had no contact with my NM now for nearly 8 years, at the age of 31 my boy being 2 years old it hit me it was like a switch, I don’t want or need her BS in my life anymore and after trying to use my son against me that was the end. After lots of abusive messages and emails telling me I was the one in the wrong and telling everyone who would listen that I was an awful daughter etc., which I ignored she drifted away, she moved and moved again so I couldn’t find her (which made me laugh because I wanted NC).

Now over the last 8 years I have found out more of her lies and evil… at 12 years old I found out by them having an argument that the man I thought was my father in fact wasn’t (which although was extremely painful to deal with it explained his coldness towards me).  She then refused, until I was 27 years old, to tell me who my biological dad was. When she did tell me she was kind of forced into it as I had contacted her step father (my grandfather but had no relationship with), asking for info and explained she refused to tell me. She gave me a name, where he lived and the reasons she didn’t want me to have contact (of course he was abusive physically and mentally to her and she was scared of him and wanted me to have nothing to do with him because of this, she was protecting me).

I, knowing my NM lies permanently set out to find this guy. I found him eventually and slowly we began to build a relationship, it was amazing I’d finally found someone who loved me my dad that I’d craved and wanted so bad as kid and adult but it all started to go wrong after 5 years there were things that were said that didn’t make sense. Eventually I got some truth…my NM had written him a letter when I was 16 years old telling him I had died in a car crash! Obviously he was devastated at the time and had grieved! So it was a shock for him when I got in contact but he choose to not tell me what my NM had said but obviously it came out. It made me feel sick to my stomach why would she do that? Pure evil!! So after a rocky few years with him, I asked him to do a DNA test (just had that gut feeling) DNA came back 0%!!! My world fell apart, after 10 years of thinking he was my dad I find out he’s not. I felt guilty and extremely sad for him she had stopped access to him from the day I was born, moved and moved so he would never find her then the letter when I was 16 then me turning up at 27 to then find out when I’m 37 that actually I’m not his! Communications stopped between us but he did give me a few names of men it could of been, and turns out she was the local bike and it could be any one of 5 men, 3 of them do not want to know they have their own families and life and the other 2 have not replied. I was angry, heartbroken just an absolute mess, so I sent a copy of the DNA to her work place with a note asking her for correct info. I then receive an email from her telling me she owes me nothing, it was all my fault she’s gonna get lawyers on to me for slandering her name etc. I ignored that and did nothing else that was a year ago but now I feel I cant let this go, I want her to know that I know all about her lies and the hurt she has put so many people through by her evil, I’ve thought about writing it all in a letter sending it to her, I just want her to hear what I have to say. I’m not after contact at all but feel angry that she can get away with treating people like this! Would you write a letter? Go to a lawyer? What are you suggestions/advice on moving forward I’m at a loss on what to do next. 💔

I’m hurting

I’m hurting

I have had the worst abuse that I have ever had in regards to abuse by a woman for approximately 3 1/2 years off and on due to a narcissistic attitude.  This behaviour has caused a lot of hurt in me and I’m afraid to go to sleep. The woman has gone from a deceitful woman to being rude, hateful & threats with a razor knife but she says I wouldn’t do that to you. But she did and from what I know it’s the friends she hangs out with, they
are provoking her. I just now had to call the local police cause she convinced her husband I’m lying. I was a kind respectful man plus a man of God but I have gotten involved with her of really stupid stuff. Now she’s having an affair with my neighbour.  She has had him harass me day and night. I’m disabled plus did 2 terms in prison and I believe she is trying to put me back. Very evil woman,  I’m disturbed,  I’m hurting hard to feel worthy to do anything.

Am I over-reacting?

Am I over-reacting?

I’m just curious… Wanting to know if I was mentally abused as a child or is it just me over reacting..  As far back as I remember, is that my mother and father always argued about money every time my dad was home from work.  I would wake up… In the middle of the night, listening to my mother screaming at my father… I crept out of bed and watched them screaming and fighting. I witnessed my mother on many occasions slagging into my dad’s eyes and face while giving him the finger, telling him to sit on this and rotate china.  And then dad would smack her in the mouth…pull her hair and give her a bloody mouth or blood nose, while I’m standing in the door way crying and screaming… Please daddy don’t hurt mummy.

There behaviour for all them years has really affected my life and as far back as I can remember, my father has always told me that he is riddled with cancer.
I am over 40 years old now and he to this day now he is still telling me that he is dying or cancer.

Apparently, according to him, he has bowel cancer, prostrate cancer, emphysema, lung cancer, tumor on the brain., arthritis, deaf in both ears… Apparently he has had three massive heart attacks one after the other,  according to him.

I’ve put up with all his lies that I actually believed years ago that he was telling the truth..
But at 30 years old I finally realised that he has been lying to me the whole time.  I don’t go and visit him no more because I don’t know what to believe about him anymore.

Because I don’t give him sympathy anymore… I found out by my adult daughters that he has been messaging them, asking my daughters, “What’s wrong with your mother??”

“I’m dying of cancer,” or “I’m going in for surgery…No one comes to visit me in hospital,” or “I’ve been in bed crook for a month and no-one has rang me.”  And then has the cheek to  tell my daughters… “Your mother doesn’t visit me no more, what’s her problem?  I’m dying…your mother is waiting for me to die, so she can be a vulture like the rest of them vampires waiting for me to die so they can swarm on my belongings.”

My mother has 5 children, 8 grandchildren and one great son from my daughter.  My mother visits her other 4 children and 4 grandchildren, but doesn’t talk to me or visit my 4 children and grandson.

Honestly, I believe that my parents have mentally abused me, and now they’re trying on my children… What do you think?  Do you think I’ve been abused??  Or am I over reacting.??

Has an abuser used their diagnosis as a defence in court?

Has an abuser used their diagnosis as a defence in court?

There have been certain behaviours & actions directed at myself & including content published which has brought me to seeking a legal opinion.  I am wondering whether anyone has experience of Defamation claims brought against ‘Abusers’ who have brought forward their diagnosis as a defence of their actions specifically within the Defamation Court?

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