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Am I abusive?

Am I abusive?

I have been with my husband for 20 years now. He IS verbally and emotionally abusive. I am not looking for advice on getting out right now. My question is…he claims that I am also emotionally abusive to him but I do not agree. I try to compromise with him on things when I don’t agree with him on something. Of course when he doesn’t agree he becomes abusive. I can have an argument without making personal attacks. He cannot. I DO control our money. If I do not he will blow it on unnecessary things. Sometimes things that are consumed by him alone and have no benefit to the family and there is nothing to show for it later. Sometimes it’s things that he may keep but again it’s not something he needs. I have no problem with him fulfilling wants but as an adult we all know that we cannot have everything we want at all times. Is it abusive that I have started to control our money? I mean one example is he got into our tax money and spent 200 on games on his phone. I think that’s ridiculous. Then he now wants to buy a 1200 computer. So frustrating.

There is only evidence of her avoiding accountability

There is only evidence of her avoiding accountability

My sibling has finally agreed to go to family therapy. I’m pretty freaked out. She has avoided all ownership of their actions, gaslighted me, projected her behaviour onto me, undermined me, stonewalled me (for over a year), everything from the toxic person’s rule book. Her and my parents desperately want her to be at my wedding and they have been testing boundaries much. My boundaries are – talk things through with a therapist or keep minimal contact, being polite at family events. Now, in a 180 degree turn around, she claims she wants therapy. There is only evidence of her avoiding accountability. She never apologises for anything. Argh. I feel sick inside.

Why Do I Still Care?

Why Do I Still Care?

I am just completing my first week apart from my partner of 16 years. He has chipped away at my self esteem, gradually taken over my home to turn it into a man cave. He has a gaming addiction and a weed addiction and I honestly feel I created my own monster by pandering to his every whim, always being the one to apologise after his constant insults and rages left me an emotional wreck. It was like I was addicted to him and would tolerate any amount of emotional abuse just to keep him in my life. He told me I was stupid, fat, ugly, old, waste of space, retard etc etc..but still I
provided everything emotionally and financially as well as a roof over his head.
The rage last week was a different level and I had him arrested after he injured me throwing items at me and smashed my doors with his head…this would all have quietened down in a couple of hours had I left it, he would have simply said “Sorry for grouching.” I would have said that it was okay. Until the next time…everything I owned, did or said he insulted…so WHY do I now feel guilty to hear he is in tears and has hurt himself? I know if he came back it would very soon be MY fault for calling the police not his for 16 years of mainly mental abuse…so WHY do I still care.? Please tell me..

What can I do?

What can I do?

I have chronic fatigue, chronic back pain, depression, stuck with meds I cannot stop. I came back in the house of my narcissistic parents that is isolated in a little village. I cannot drive, they ruin my mental health. I called to the town hospital but it is full, don’t know what to do, feel like I’m trapped with no support. What can I do? Sos suicide just listen but don’t do anything else. I don’t want suicide anymore. I want help but nobody seems to care, my parents have all the family in their bag. I have no vital energy anymore. What can I do?

I need help

I need help

I need help. My narcissistic ex just got awarded shared custody of our daughter. Now he controls when I talk to her, what we talk about, and how long we are on the phone. I I need help. He’s so good with his words that the court failed to see that he’s a danger to our child’s emotional and mental health. My daughter is hurting.

I have sustained moderate to severe emotional abuse

I have sustained moderate to severe emotional abuse

For those in the court system trying to protect your children. What communication techniques worked for you selling in/ gifting resolutions?

I have a psychiatric evaluation report showing he has narcissistic behaviours, that I have sustained moderate to severe emotional abuse and this is domestic violence. It also shows he’s been playing psychological warfare and committing perjury in the court process.

I feel like this is psycho behaviour and is unacceptable

I feel like this is psycho behaviour and is unacceptable

My boyfriend of almost 8 months has had a rough past few relationships that have ended with the female cheating. So I understand this is a sensitive area for him.

I don’t go out with friends, I don’t drink, I am not flirty, I don’t dress provocative, etc. I do have two exes on fb (he does too) who were short term and we both realized we were better friends and romantic partners. Even still, I NEVER do more than like a family photo or wish them happy birthday.

My childhood friend from elementary and middle school has decided to relocate potentially to the area where I am. This is someone I grew up with and have never had any romantic interest in whatsoever.

But according to my boyfriend “my eyes lit up” when I told him about the prospect of my friend moving down here. 🙄

So with this “concrete evidence” my boyfriend decided it was wise to use some high tech hacking software to hack into my fb messenger to read any messages, there were a few with my friend but they were all innocent.

Yet somehow he’s found a way to misconstrue what he read when my friend referred to my boyfriend by his last name saying “yeah but is (last name) going to be okay with it?” I told him yes, he already knew and that once they met he’d see there’s nothing more than a brother/sister type relationship.

I’m VERY upset that he hacked into my fb. He didn’t guess the password. He used hacking software to gain access and claims he can access ANYTHING I have including texts, messages, emails etc.

I have been abused, controlled and treated like crap in multiple previous relationships and I feel like this is psycho behaviour and is unacceptable.

Am I being ridiculous? How would you handle this?

What should I do?

What should I do?

Can I get some advice on what to do? My son’s father has always been a narcissist, now that my son is older he’s being treated the same way. He gets so anxious before he leaves and he comes home so angry. I finally stepped up for my son but his father refused to see the damage. He wants to take him this weekend and my son does not want to go. He’s doing better in school, he’s happier than I’ve seen him in months. What should I do???

I cannot bear to be around when he is present

I cannot bear to be around when he is present

I would like some advice from people whose daughters are in a narcissist relationship on how to handle it. We are very close but I cannot bear to be around when he is present, I don’t want it like this. It hurts me…

My daughter is 25 and they’ve been together on/off for 2 years. They have two children, 2 months and 6 years old.

I really need help

I really need help

I really need help….
I was currently dating an emotional abusive partner for 4 years
1..he isolated me from my friends and family
2..whenever he is wrong he blames me for everything
3..he lies about me
4..he cheated on me
5..he doesn’t apologize or show any regret when he has wronged me…
This past Friday he decided to go out with friends and he came back yesterday 7pm.

I didn’t manage to take all this and decided to leave him today but I don’t regret my decision….did I do wrong or right by leaving him?

Any advice its highly appreciated

 

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