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His emotional scars will be tough to overcome

His emotional scars will be tough to overcome

Hello.. I just came across your page and find it all very fascinating and informative! I have found myself in a predicament with my boyfriend’s parents both being insane. Narcissists and him having a lot of signs as it too!  As he was raised in that terrible environment, so it’s learned behaviour… he seems willing to change as they just turned our whole world upside down by their antics and he has moved across country to try to make a life for us closer to my family and away from his, which I think is a good sign… any advice? As I think the emotional scars they have left him with over his 30 years on earth are going to be tough to overcome.  Most articles I’ve read suggest leaving but I’m not willing to do that as we have a child together and would love for him to recover from the abuse and have a healthy happy family with me and my daughter. Thanks

How do I deal with such a person?

How do I deal with such a person?

Hello, I’ve been a victim of my narcissistic mother in law,she has isolated me from the rest of the family members.Now she has started turning my husband against me. I’v tried to avoid her behaviour,but she keeps calling my husband and telling him stuff that was never intentioned and never spoken of. I’ve also had to take antidepressants because of her behaviour towards me. Is isolation a form of domestic violence. Is there anyone I could talk to? How do I deal with such a person?

Am I doing the right thing?

Am I doing the right thing?

I absolutely love your page and thank you for making it! I am on dialysis three times a week and I have a feeling that I am being harassed and being gaslighted by the nurse practitioner at my Nephrologist’s office. I am in the process of finding another Nephrologist but I really don’t want to because I love my kidney doctor.  I just don’t want to put up with the harassment and gaslighting from the nurse practitioner. Am I doing the right thing?

Her daughter could do no wrong

Her daughter could do no wrong

So here’s my experience with co-parenting.. wondering if anyone else has same experience. Her and myself were both single parents to daughters. We got together when they were 2 and 4.  My daughter had rules and expectations and was disciplined. Her daughter lived with no rules and no discipline and could do no wrong in her mother’s eyes, was held to no expectations or responsibility. If at any time I tried to discipline her daughter or raised concerns I became the enemy and was met with screaming in my face, threats, name calling etc. She would use me to threaten her daughter at times to get her way. It was always like being two different households under the same roof. Anytime my ex was mad at me she would make up wild stories about my daughter or treat my daughter with disdain…in the end her daughter at 13 was into drugs, criminal behaviour, sex, never going to school. Mine went on to good grades, private college, no troubles…anyone else experience this?

Why does he blame me so much?

Why does he blame me so much?

They say actions speak louder than words .  But now I doubt actions as even they can be deceitful .. a person tells you they love you then says he only acted lovingly towards me because, “that’s what he does.”

I’ve been told I’m insecure and I cause him to walk around on egg shells, yet when I got called dopey because I make toasted sandwiches differently to him I got told he is only joking and I take things to heart too much.

What is happening as I’m confused as to what and why it was happening…  He is a nice guy so why does he blame me for so much?

I’m so hurt

I’m so hurt

Hi, I am in a mess. My property manager is a narcissist.  I put in paperwork to get a comfort animal the last week of March. She told me it takes the owner months to get one. She kept asking if I had a cat, I said no, I follow the rules. So I call cooperate yesterday and the have no record of her sending it. And it takes about a week! The lady at cooperate emailed her and told her to send it again. I am so hurt, upset and confused why someone would do this?
Thanks for listening.

Can they become a narcissist?

Can they become a narcissist?

Can a victim of someone who claims to have been abused by a narcissistic person become a narcissist themselves?

It seems that it happened to me but looking back it appears that she displayed the traits of a narcissist. Always about her appearance and always making comments about all these guys wanting her. To me that seems to be someone who needs that constant praise and self worth.

If you don’t give me what I want I’ll make sure your life’s hell

If you don’t give me what I want I’ll make sure your life’s hell

Has anyone else felt that their abusers turn to their church home or and huge ministries for prayers, pointing the fingers, blaming everyone else but themselves?  Narcs are always victims, we’re of the devil simply because we won’t be their financial spiritual mental door mats of toxicity, we’re supposed to fight basically prove we’re worth to be loved, respected basically be miserable on the account of people who really don’t care and only hear one side have no experience or
understanding of any types of abuse & basically it’s like narc can mentally emotional financial spiritual physically hurt  and abuse their family, hate blame others & start hate groups, if they just happen to get their stuff together.   We owe them our lives, have to reconcile but they’ve never had to suffer what or any judgements or karma! It’s like I can stab you blame you and look I even called for help, I’m actually good you have no choices if you don’t give me what I want I’ll make sure your life’s hell
and slander your name playing the victim blame game and I’m always
right.

 

We are alone in our grief.

We are alone in our grief.

How do others handle the lack of support over the loss of their adult son/daughter due to their offspring staying in a narcissistic marriage?

Often the son/daughter has no clue that their spouse is narcissistic (unless they have prior experience and are educated in narcissistic PD). The NPD spouse is very manipulative, fooling their partner that they met the perfect match and then over time whittling away their partner’s friends and family members while convincing their partner that those friends and family are the problem. And it’s difficult to see a once loving parent-offspring relationship turn into the parents being cruelly treated and then blamed for the cruelty. And then the son/daughter and their NPD spouse play the victims and victim blame while increasing the maltreatment and distancing of the parents and siblings because they voiced their dislike of how they’re being mistreated.

People who’ve lost a son/daughter, brother, sister, or grandchild because of death are allowed to share their grief and have support from others. They get extra support  on the birthdays, holidays, and dates related to the deceased. They can post about their loss, share memories and their continued times of missing their loved one. However, those who’ve lost their son/daughter, brother/sister, or grandchild who is still alive, yet no longer have contact because of their son’s/daughter’s narcissistic spouse have no such support. And they’re constantly reminded of how alone they are in their grief every time they see the outpouring of love and support for those with a deceased loved one. And due to social norms parents who lost their son/daughter due to the SIL/DIL’s narcissistic manipulation, controlling, scapegoating, gaslighting and other abusive behaviours are expected to keep silent about the abuse that led to the loss.

Do others share with Facebook friends their story of such loss due to NPD? Does a wider audience other than your closest friends and immediate family know that you lost a son/daughter/grandchild due to the NPD? Or do you keep silent in fear of being further blamed because the NPD has been trash taking you, making up lies in their scapegoating of you? Our NPD DIL has raged and lied so much that we won’t be alone with her and our son ever again. We no longer see our son and grandchildren, there’s no contact. We lost the son we knew, and will ever know our grandchildren, yet are alone in our grief, and no one says “so sorry for your loss” and no one shares good memories of him before he was forever changed and gone.

So, is there a grief support group for such parents and siblings? If not there should be. And I’m asking for something more than informative and supportive NPD Facebook groups (very helpful groups) because they’re not a good location for this needed support since the posts/comments can be seen by others like the NPD and their flying monkey enablers which then adds fuel to the fire.

Thanks for the help.

Will I always be this way?

Will I always be this way?

I was in very bad dysfunctional narcissistic relationship, he was a pathological liar for years about every thing and any thing… He had a second life with another woman while living with me . He lied to the other woman and told her he was in Bosnia fighting the war while he was living with me helping with bills and playing house. I then found out he regularly visits escorts as well.

Well fast forward it’s been 2 years since the initial break up and 1 year since no contact.   I recently started seeing someone new and we have been spending a little bit more time together last night when we started to become a bit intimate I asked him to leave, I was having an anxiety attack and not just a small one but like full blown I needed to be by myself.  He was respectful and left.

Will I always be this way?  I am hurt and just want my life to be normal again, I want to be able to be open to love again.

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