Please help. I have been trying to end my marriage to a narcissistic husband for over a year. He just won’t go. I own my home so I can’t get up and leave him. Everybody says about going no contact but I can’t even get him to go. He keeps threatening to leave because he said I am the abuser and if I only did what he said we would be happy. I tell him that’s ok. I even tell him I don’t love him and I will help him to get rehoused, I have even said I will make payments to him to help him out financially but he just never goes and then talks to me about plans he has got us like nothing has happened. I don’t know how much longer I can take him putting me down and finding fault in me for some awful rages he goes into. Often ending up him breaking something in our home or throwing thing at me. Please, where do I start to get him to leave? If I called the police I know he will kill me. I am so afraid. Please help.
What do you do when your boss makes your working life hell? I’ve worked for this firm for a very long time and used to love my work. That was until we got a new boss. She treats people like shit unless you happen to be one of her cronies who run after her, making her coffee and run her errands. She’s already got some long standing staff sacked because she made them look bad by telling lies. She seems to be so lovely when the big bosses are about. They don’t see what she’s really like. They can’t see through her. Nobody has the guts to stand up to her. I think they’re all afraid of losing their jobs. Please, any advice would be appreciated. I don’t know how long I can keep going into work but there’s not a lot of jobs going about here so leaving isn’t really an option.
Would like some advice anonymously. Been married 10 years to a policeman. Everyone loves him, he is great at his job, and does nothing but talk about me (his beautiful wife) and our 3 children. Perfect right?? Wrong. He has cheated on me a few times now. Each time he says he is sorry, claims it was friendship only just calling and texting. 3 years ago I left. He begged and pleaded to take him back. I did so, more so for our kids. Have just found out, through phone records, that he is at it again, ringing and texting 3 different women. I had been suspicious for a while but he would just say I had to trust him, but never would show me his phone records. Obviously I didn’t believe him and got hold of his records anyway. Do I leave and never look back?? Is he a narcissist?? He meets some, but not all, very confusing. He certainly is a chronic liar and cheating, and despite what he says he will never stop. I am just upset and scared of being a single mum with 3 kids. It’s certainly not how I had my life planned out. Apart from cheating, he is living, caring and in general a good husband.
I have been following your Facebook page with such interest. I have a Narc mother – and I think I may have a Narc husband but I’m getting confused about if maybe I’m the awful one. My mother never liked me – would humiliate me constantly in order to make herself look good – I can’t even begin to describe what she did to me over the years. It makes me feel so sick.
My husband has no empathy. After my mastectomy we inadvertently ended up by a beach and I just froze – he walked off saying that it wasn’t his problem and that there would always be beautiful women to look at.
Time after time after time things happened like this – going to dinner and being ignored, going to pick the dogs up from the kennel and being ignored. I had major surgery a few years ago and had to ask him not to flirt with the nurses just for that day.
When I’m sad or in need of attention from my oncologist he withholds all care. He is fine when I’m ‘behaving’ but the minute there is any pressure he withdraws and withholds and it doesn’t matter how sad or hurt I am he just stares at me angrily and keeps saying f ‘well what do you want to do about it’.
Everything is met with anger, detachment, withholding of love or compassion or empathy. He doesn’t talk to his two children because they don’t ‘care’ about his troubles with their mother. So many hard things – so much anger and awful cold aggression – but I’m starting to think maybe it’s me? Maybe my needs are selfish? Maybe I’m the one who is just expecting too much? Or maybe if my other is a cruel and unkind narcissist – well maybe I am one too?
Can you help me? I have just gotten some anxiety tablets today to try and help me settle down – but I truly am worried that maybe I’m the one making things difficult empty and sad.
Thank you for your site, xx I’m so ashamed of everything – I used to be so strong and capable. My cancer and subsequent partner have kind of thrown me.
Since I’ve filed we are still living together, he was supposed to have spinal surgery, but they won’t do it unless he quits smoking, “how much do you want to bet on the 7th I’ll never touch one of these again, I have to do it for my family” he didn’t, then lied and hid cigarettes. The most I was doing was holding him accountable so he could get fixed. But I was a bad person for it. Part of holding off court was so he could do surgery and in meantime (estimated 1 month) we would go to counselling. We’ve had 1 session which was not helpful, and the surgery most likely won’t happen anytime soon. I have concerns for other drug use. Why am I still here when I know I don’t want to be with him, I know I deserve better, so much better. I’m young and going into my prime with a child (7, not his.) He’s old with all sorts of health problems. He’s being especially nice now, trying to get me to move us to Florida, 1500 miles away. My mind won’t let me think, won’t let me act. I see it, I just can’t do it! How!?