I have been married for long 16 years. I have 6 kids from him. It’s my first marriage but he married many times before me, after 2 years of marriage I got to know that he had multiple marriages and divorces before me. He told me that all his exes were crazy and had relationship with other men. (all his exes didn’t care for him, he did lots for them but they didn’t.)
When I got married with him he was so nice, loving and caring to me, he was very compassionate, and had respect for me. He spent all his time with me. He loved me so much. He spent money generously on me, took care of me like a precious thing
but during this period he never trusted me with his money and never gave me money. He insisted in buying me things which he liked not what I liked. He took to me shopping and bought everything that he liked to buy for me. He imposed his opinion on me, he called me stupid and insane, mocked me before his family, and he felt happy. When I complained about that he said he was joking but when I wanted things which I liked and love to buy he said that he didn’t have that much money. He is rich man. He never bought very expensive stuff for me even though he is a wealthy man.
When I was happy he became angry and his mood was off suddenly, every time when there were any special occasions (anniversary, birthdays, kids birthdays, he always ruined our happiness). He always has his mood off and angry, I always wonder why he behaves like this) but besides all this he isolated me from my friends and family, (which I didn’t realise, then I just realised all these after I joined this page, this page helped me lot to understand him thanks Anne.) He doesn’t want me to meet anyone, he used to tell me that they are not good, they are jealous of us, they are mean, they will break us apart, and I believed all this. He was so convincing. He doesn’t allow me to go anywhere without him even for groceries, shopping ‘and family gatherings.
He never wanted me to have my own money or any bank account, and still I don’t have any penny for me or my own bank account. He provides me and my kids everything but also he always complains. I guess that he has no money , he is in debt and his business is not going well.) He never trusts me with his money, and he hides his all personal details from me, but he always checks on my phone and all my personal stuff, and does same with my kids. He is very dominating and he controls everything , financial and other things, for example if we have to give gifts to any family or friends, he takes me with him for shopping but he always give gifts or money by himself to friends, or family members, he doesn’t even trust me with these matters.
He never wants me to talk to any men but he always has long conversations with women during family gatherings and and at public places if he gets the chance to talk to a women.
He has many women as friends and he told me they are just his friends. After a long time of marriage he suddenly started accusing me of relationships with other men.
He accused me of collecting men at home in his absence. I was shocked at all these accusations, I did not understand why he started to accuse me. I told him that I only love him and my kids, I don’t want anything before my family. I called his family and friends and also some of my family friends. Not a single one believed him. They all said that he was just lying, but he still insists that I have adulterous relations with other men. I don’t go anywhere without him, I never ever go without him during this marriage. He dominated me. I lost my self esteem. I am always doubted. He wants me to always obey him without questioning. He wants me to never complain, never ask for anything for me and never ask for any freedom. At the start I was always crying at his accusations, I was in severe depression, I was wondering why he changed suddenly , why he accused me of things that I never did. He withholds physical relations for months, he is ghosting with me. When he wants to talk me he talks, when he wants to take me anywhere he takes, for a few days he starts behaving like he is very good to me but after a few days he changes again. I never understand what he wants. I am in a situation where I don’t have resources to live alone with my kids, I am all alone.
What should I do? He is a rich man and I have nothing. I am afraid that if I leave him may be he gets my kids, my only concern is my kids, my only purpose in life is my kids, I want to raise them as good human beings, I want them as successful human beings.
I can not live without my kids, they are my everything, I am afraid, I feel alone. What should i do? Should I stay with him for the sake of my kids as they are too young. I don’t want for them a broken family.