You will make a better life

You will make a better life

I just wanted to share. I just wrote this to myself.  Tomorrow I will leave this abusive relationship I’ve been in for just over a year. I have an 8 year old and a baby on the way. And I can’t take it anymore. We will all be better off. I wrote this because I know how he works and I know he will try to get me back like the last three times I’ve left.  I love this page so much and just wanted to share.
Whenever you feel like you miss him read this. Don’t forget the way you feel right now. Sad, upset and disgusted. Sad because you found your better half, knew he had issues but loved him anyway. Upset because of all the times he’s gotten drunk and called you nasty names.  When he looks at you with evil eyes.  When he told you he wished you’d lose your baby with a smirk on his face.  When he tells everyone around you how you’re the problem when yeah maybe you yelled, maybe you said things to poke him back but how long did you take it? How long did he put you down and make you feel worthless before you spoke up because you were so tired of fighting that endless battle. No one sees that, no one hears it. Disgusted because even when he isn’t drinking he’s still impossible. Loves you to death one minute.  But if he doesn’t have his way or you say or do something ‘wrong’ then bam! His mouth starts running that same old story. That manipulative way he has that you’ve learned so well and know it’s useless to try and talk to him.  Everything’s your fault right?  So you shut down. Then he gets mad and you know it’s because you won’t fight back and cause more drama for him to feed on.  All the things he has said to you and done to you that no one knows about…replay that in your head, now. You deserve to be treated so much better. You don’t miss him, you miss what you wish he was, what he seemed to be on ‘good’ days. That’s no way to live, walking on eggshells to keep him happy. No More.  Don’t let him manipulate you into thinking he is sorry or that he will change. He won’t. You’ll be fine. You are strong and you will make a better life without the emotional and mental abuse he dishes out. Be happy. Raise your kids and in time find real love.

One thought on “You will make a better life

  1. You can do this. You will be better off without him. Even when you’re feeling sad, lonely and so down, you still won’t have him making you feel worse. I’m a year on from leaving but can’t go no contact as we have a child. I struggle with guilt about splitting up a family and not being there to protect my son from him, but I know it was the right thing to do and did not want my son to grow up watching him treat me like that. Of course my ex, who was ‘devastated’, found someone else quickly (could have been an affair, who know). You’re doing the right thing. Big hug x

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