B.M. was as covert as a narc can be. He revealed no narcissistic traits for 5 years of courtship. As soon as we married, he became a living breathing cursing yelling abusive monster. When I told him that it wasn’t appropriate to talk to his wife that way, he told me it’s ok, we’re married. The marriage lasted 10 years, which is 10 years too long. It’s almost impossible to out these guys until they want to out themselves. Even caution in dating doesn’t work because they’re so skillful at hiding who they are. My advice … Never give a man the benefit of a doubt when you see narc behavior. Not even once.
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