Sense Of Entitlement

Sense Of Entitlement

Narcissistic Entitlement

As normal people progress from childhood and adolescence into adulthood, most leave behind the childish temper tantrums, the stomping feet, yelling and crying, to get what they want and develop a more mature and refined manner.  They learn patience and understanding and with maturity, learn that not everything will go their way all of the time.  Sadly, people with narcissistic personality disorder cannot be considered ‘normal’ by any stretch of the imagination and never seem to move beyond their childish ways believing that the world evolves around them.

A sense of entitlement :

  • Having an unrealistic belief that one has a right to have, do, or get something.
  • The expectation or belief that you deserve special treatment / privileges.

Someone with narcissistic personality disorder has an unbelievable sense of entitlement.  They are ruthless in their quest to ensure that their needs are met, which are more important than those of anyone else.  Woe betide anyone who stands in the way of the narcissist and their goal.  They don’t appear to have any sense of shame when it comes to trampling over others in order to achieve their desires.ruthless-in-their-quest

During conversations in public, the narcissistic personality feels entitled to interrupt when other people are talking.  After all, it’s difficult to be the centre of attention when other people have taken centre stage.

In their minds they need to get what they want, when and how they want.   What happens when they sate their appetite?   It won’t be enough…they’ll crave more.  The narcissist is never satisfied because the goal posts are always moved.

The word, ‘compromise’ is not a word in the narcissist’s vocabulary.  Someone with such an acute sense of entitlement doesn’t want to meet anyone half way and will push the boundaries until they get their own way.  Rules don’t apply to them.  It’s their way or the highway.

To normal people this kind of behaviour comes across as incredibly selfish, and it is.  The needs of those around them are of little or no consequence and are pushed to the bottom of the queue.  Sometimes a narcissist can come across as a generous, kind and gentle soul, usually at the outset of a relationship.  Don’t be fooled.  Their apparent kindness and generosity are a ruse, created when there is something in it for them.  They give in order to get.

Written by Anne McCrea

2 thoughts on “Sense Of Entitlement

  1. Do you think the sense of entitlement will always be so obnoxious? My ex wouldn’t interrupt as much as I just knew she was out for only her. She did what she wanted when she wanted and anyone who has an issue with that “oh well”

  2. In the beginning of our relationship, my husband was so loving, kind, selfless, so selfless. He was so thoughtful & complimentary. I hadn’t met anyone like him. Even to this day, that’s how his family & friends still see him & I’m seen as the abuser. I had come out of an 11yr abusive marriage with 4 children under 10. My 2 yr old daughter & 3 yr old son took to him straight away. It felt like the perfect family. He had hid from me the extent of his mental health. The first alarm bells came (which I ignored but never forgot), from the 1st day of our engagement. His excitement was one of a child in a candy store. Very strange for an adult male. The 2nd alarm bells came on the honeymoon where I would be walking the beach alone every day. The 3rd alarm bells were on the way back from our 2wk honeymoon, we dropped into a very close & old friend of mine to say hello only to be made the butt of my husbands & her jokes. By the time we arrived home, & the next 22 yrs of our marriage, the marriage was filled with only alarm bells. The demands were always there I guess but they didnt come with threats if they weren’t met until
    3 yrs into our marriage when he made friends with a male & his family with worse mental health problems,(another narcissist) who would target me. This friend has since become my abuser & my husbands best friend for the past 19 yrs. With regards to the goal posts, my ex always had demands within the marriage. Every time his demands were met, he still wasnt happy. New demands were always around the corner & they always came as a form of punishment. If the demands were’nt met met on his time frame, more punishment would arrive. He was never one to interrupt a conversation but he would leave in the middle of a conversation to start afresh with someone else in the room leaving me in mid sentence. His mother was exactly the same. Now that he’s left, he is now putting demands on our nearly 19 yr old daughter,(we have 2 children together,(the older daughter nearly 21), I have 4 older children, 3 still at home) to spend more days with him on top of the original demanded days (& heaven help if those demanded days could not be met by me because of the demands on me by my other children), which are being met. Again, the goal posts have been moved. I have explained to my younger daughter, dad will never be happy no matter how many days she fulfills. But he is very good with the victim’s tone with her while with me his tone is always demanding & one of entitlement. The attitude of entitlement was always the tone in our home. The majority of the time his meals were given to him in bed with followed ‘thank yous’ as if I was hired help. It wasnt an attitude of grattitude but rather one of entitlement. His major & ongoing demand was that he must “rule & reign!!” He was born to rule & reign in our house & if I didnt ‘submit’ to him then I was stopping him from ruling & reigning!! This all began once he made friends with his best friend. That’s when the punishment began if I didn’t fulfill his demands on his time table. His demands were never little. They would always be life changing with me wearing the consequences of those changes. But as I mentioned earlier, with every demand met, even bigger demands were around the corner. The next demand was always at a higher level of demand with a much higher price to pay if the demand wasnt met.

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