I’m so broken

I’m so broken

I went back to my narc a couple of weeks ago.  While she was here, she found out I was making some research and reading books about narcs, it hurt her (I’m assuming) but after finding out, she became really nice to me (I guess because she doesn’t want to be known that way). After a week of love bombing and so much sweetness, during the weekend, she began being cold, and neglects me, she would posts things on social media talking about how a person who is confident about herself to not beg and ask someone to love them.

I’m now so broken, before she returned, I already prepared myself for the take-off but she became so sweet, the kind of person anyone would want to be with, and now she’s gone again. With, of course, a lot of reasons behind her being cold and silent treatment. Please help me. What should I do? Are they really like that? Shows you so much love, ideally a perfect normal relationship, and come another day, they leave without any reason (well, not that I know of). I’m so broken I don’t know what to do with this anymore.

Hoping to hear from all of you and eventually follow and listen to your responses. Many thanks

9 thoughts on “I’m so broken

  1. Hi. I’m currently in a relationship with someone I suspect is unfortunately a narc. I am deeply in love. He used to be like that, love bombing. Now he’s very cold. Honestly I am struggling to deal with this myself. I know it’s hard. I know how much it hurts. But sir, as hard as it is for me to believe it right now, it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok. The point I’m at right now I want to start detaching myself before something may happen. I hope & believe that you get to that point as well. It’s still painful, but it does help with the pain a little, once you reach the ‘Idgaf’ point. God bless.

    1. The hardest part is believing you’ll be okay. WHEN was what I wanted to know after a while. Now I am meeting new people, but am SO vigilant….everything they say to me goes though a filtering system, it seems. Leave now before he/she changes your very thinking.

  2. Run away and don’t look back. I’ve been there and I know how it hurts, but the pain of staying too long is a lot harder to cope with. The best you could do id leave and go no contact forever before it’s too late.

  3. You are confused and hurt. Please make an appointment with a therapist to help you sort out your feelings, and to find out why you keep going back for more abuse. You deserve a better life, and I hope you come to realize it. Really, therapy works.

  4. Yes they are like that. The more you research and learn of this disorder, the more you’ll be able to predict their behavior. Over time you’ll be able to detach from her completely. It’s hard tho because you’ll still want to be with the person you thought they were. But truth is the person you thought they were doesn’t exist, it’s just an act

  5. My heart goes out to you. Leaving this type of situation is definitely a process. The key will be getting to the point that you realize that although this person is treating you abusively, you are worth more. You have to ask yourself, and answer honestly, what is it in me that makes me want to be with this type of person. What is it in me that makes me think I’m not worth a loving, sane, healthy relationship. What is it in me that keeps engaged in an abusive relationship. What do I need to change. My Dad once said, the person who we need to change is most likely the person we see in the mirror. I think when you start seeking the answers to these question, you will begin to heal. It will no longer matter what that person does or is known for…it will only matter that you see you deserve so much better. It is a process and going back to them a few times is part of it. The process also hopefully will lead you to a point of health and restoration of you. Wishing you all the very best.

  6. It IS hard to believe, but yes, they really -are- like that. If you choose disappointment, you’ll have plenty of it if you keep getting back together. Do you want to do that to yourself? My narc is now trying to pull me back after our third and hopefully final breakup. Of course I read all I could find about -his- condition, but what really helped me start recovering from the *pain* was researching about MYSELF. Facing my own stuff is what helped me resist him and the ease of returning to the relationship. Here’s the bottom line truth: It is tough going. The pain is stunning. I’ve never felt anything like this, but will prevail.

  7. Narcs are master manipulators if you let them back in they will come back to do what they always have done destroy your soul. Dig deep and see what’s causing you to stay attached. Usually child hood trauma keeps us all hooked.
    Learn about yourself forget the narc. Save yourself

  8. It is exactly how they are. You are not imagining anything. Getting you to question yourself and being masters of deception is exactly how they get you to hold on so long. It’s how they confuse and disarm you. My husband is amazing at this. He can be two completely different people. That is the trauma bond..it’s very confusing and unnerving. I simultaneously love and hate my husband. My mind gets so confused and he is so good at being covert about his abuse. It’s never anything he can’t find a way to justify or blame me for. They need acceptance to badly to be outright evil in the presence of other’s. So they look charming and kind and helpful on the outside if not in my husband’s case very arrogant and cocky. But they play the game well and my husband can be one of the seemingly most kind and loving people when it suits him. I’ve learned that he isn’t only one or the other he doesn’t have to be all bad in order for me to realize I need to leave him. He can be both and still be the most toxic person I’ve ever met. We don’t have to try to decide who they really are…they are both..they are everything….they are chaos. They will not ever settle on one personality…that’s why it’s called a PERSONALITY DISORDER. They really are that bad and they really are that good and it’s the trying to figure them out that takes us down the rabbit hole. We don’t have to have all the answers. We only have to answer one question. If they stayed the way they are right now for the rest of our lives would we be able to resign ourselves to live this way forever? They don’t change…so can you live with that abuse forever and function? Can you adapt? Because they never will.

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