He fakes pain or being sick

He fakes pain or being sick

You guys are helping me heal. I can’t Thank you enough. I am with a scary master narcissist. I’m planning my strategic escape. Sad to say it that way but true. As he is a dangerous one.

Question: of all of the spot on articles I read I haven’t run across one that talks about the narcissist ‘faking’ pain or being sick.

He does this when he wants to get out of going somewhere or when he wants my attention. This morning he knew I was coming into the room and put on the act big time complaining of back pain. An hour later I came down snuck up on him, watching his totally normal demeanour. Then I made noise letting him know I was there instant I’m in excruciating pain act.

He gets like this when I tell him we need to talk, this needs to end, please be nice, etc. he is although total normal when he goes out to the gym, work, other friends, people I call his fans. Anyway I could go on and on as you know.

Am I imagining this? Or do you really think he’s in pain and I’m
being mean? I am so lost and confused with this asshole. So pathetic because I have a very strong schooling background and a professional in my field. I feel ashamed of myself that I have gone down this horrific downward spiral and was fooled, taken advantage of, made a fool of. Don’t get me wrong, o by no means think I’m better then or above anyone. It’s all me I am disappointed in myself.

24 thoughts on “He fakes pain or being sick

  1. You should not feel ashamed, a narcissist can manipulate therapists / councillors who are highly trained in that area. It is their charm and ability to twist the truth that makes them so believable while the real victim suffers and is made out to be the bad one. It sounds like he’s trying to deflect the talk that he knows is coming, I don’t think your being mean. I hope you get out soon.

  2. Huni don’t question do they or don’t they just get the fudge out of the relationship as fast as you can…. yes the fake illnesses… i’m guessing he wasn’t getting enough admiration from you and was looking for fix of narcissistic supply . Been away from mine 18months, I’m a new woman no more days and nights second guessing sitting next to him feeling lonely, no more outbursts of rage for absolutely nothing….. they are sick vile people who can’t change. Get out…. stay out… walk away towards happiness because he doesn’t know the meaning of the word. Kind regards x

  3. I would say this is normal behaviour for them. My ex did this all the time. He acted like he was dying of man flu but with me and all my illnesses and chronic pain he had zero empathy and did not help me but expected it ALL whenever he got a cold (which never actually was a cold lol). Oh and the back pain, except he could cycle a few times of week lol.

  4. Run, dont walk. You have nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not you, its him. I left Jan 31, 2017. Its a hard road, but this too shall pass. Get out now! You deserve better, we all do! Good luck!

  5. My narc would always claim to be sick when he wasn’t getting enough attention. Though he never had a conclusive blood test, Lyme disease was his illness of choice because of the wide range of symptoms. I’m a super empath, and a nurse, so it always worked for him in the beginning. I’d stop whatever I was doing, take him to the doctors, cater to his needs. He was always an avid cyclist and went to the gym constantly so I began to question if it was just an act for attention. He eventually left me, but his nail still comes here and I saw he had blood work yet again to check for Lyme, so he’s continuing his act for someone else now apparently. He should put in a change of address form at the post office if he plans to keep it up haha

  6. Yes, mine faked so well he was even admitted to the hospital to keep me from turning my attention from him. Keep reading from these sites and you’ll get stronger. It’s a long recovery, take your time and never blame yourself for falling for it. They are masters at fooling us. Read the book Jerk Radar when your ready. You’ll never fall for it again.

  7. Good to read you’re planning a strategic escape. For the love of God, stop trying to have ANY “conversations” with him in case you slip up – or make a last-ditch hopeful attempt to get him to change by revealing ANYTHING about getting out. He’s a master manipulator by your own description – he’s one person with you, another outside. Yes, they fake illnesses. I just had a flash of the N I was married too sitting at the table and whining about soreness in his neck, or his hands, or some other pitiful thing. It’s all for attention. These creatures are stuck at between 5-to-7 years of age – and that’s when kids do these behaviors! Your “lost and confused” state will clear when you are OUT of this relationship. You’re being “gaslighted” by his behaviors, which causes total confusion. It’s like living in a washing machine – bouncing all around, trying to get your footing. Narcissism is a Cluster B Personality Disorder. “Relationships” with narcissists are emotional hell, pure and simple. When you are free of him, absolutely NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER, go through all the stages of grief with supportive people, a therapist if necessary, and move on with knowledge so you don’t attract another. And yes, we attract them, so your job is to find out why.

  8. My husband’s ex wife did this all the time, to the point where they attended hospitals and specialists every week. There was nothing wrong she was just after attention and getting her own way. When that stopped working she would threaten suicide or fake suicide attempts. She even had someone tell him she was dead after he finally got the courage to leave. It is just manipulation and a last ditch attempt to keep you there because nothin else is working anymore.

    1. Mine has also threatened suicide and talked about how he would do it. Once he had my full attention it would stop.

  9. Faking an illness or injury would rorutiney occur when my family was involved. My Mom was on to his tactics as was my brother so he stayed away from them. For my Dad’s 90th birthday, which I planned without the narc’s input, he initially told me the approach I had taken was stupid and made no sense. He feigned sickness on the day of one of the celebratory events. He was so totally fine health wise but it was his way of letting everyone know he wasn’t happy about not being the kingpin to organize the event.
    After my sudden departure which caught him totally unaware he told me he went to the hospital with chest pains. I inquired further and he had gone to emergency but when after some initial routine questions they told him he would have to take a seat and wait he turned on his heels and left. This prince does not wait for anything; it’s front of the line or he’s leaves. So clearly the chest pains were not a real concern. It was a tactic to try and get me to come back.
    It’s been 14 months since I left. It’s had some challenges because a narc affects you in weird ways. But overall I’m in a good place and moving forward. Advice: limit contact and engaging with your narc; it would take me a few weeks to get back on my feet after discussing or meeting with him to deal with details of our separation/ divorce. And learn the word ‘no’. Best of luck.

  10. Im in a relationship with a narc…seeing this. Im confused by his behaviour right now. I ended things in january and threw him out….he wanted a chance….n yeah theres been Health scares….he got me….i have several chronic conditions n get resentment about them. We dont get what we give in these relationships sadly. I think we dream of the person we live n try too hard to ignore warning signs. Save yourself . Believe in yourself. Dont second guess or second chance. If valued…..wouldnt be in the doubting situation i feel x

  11. I’m glad to hear you’re planning your exit – best wishes for a quick and easy escape!

    Please don’t beat yourself up. Narcissists can fool the best, including therapists. My mother was able to con a mental health professional into blaming all her behaviour on me, so don’t feel bad that you were manipulated. And yes, narcissists will fake pain/illness. I’ve seen my mother (who, while in her 80s, can still manage stairs quite well) go slowly, painfully, and whilst leaning dramatically against the rail and wall, down a flight of stairs just to try and garner sympathy and distract me from the issue at hand. Narcissists will do whatever it takes to get you, and keep you, where they want you.

    Keep your distance, don’t try to catch him out (if he realizes you can see through his game it might get ugly), and keep working on your escape.

  12. I am a professional as well. My ex husband did the same stuff. He always had something wrong with him. I had him served after 23 years of useless marrriage. Three days later he faked a heart attack. Idiot. They sent him home after finding nothing. He was just stressed out. Hahaha. My advise…..do not feel sorry for him. Do not second guess yourself. Look at the facts without thinking of your emotions. If you are married go interview lawyers and do your research on successful divorces. Then make your plan to get out or get him out. Move your money!. Then take action to get him out of your life. As a professional you would not tolerate people like him in business. Do tolerate him now. Do not feel sorry for him!

  13. While My ex and I were together, he got a lot of debilitating headaches. Looking back, they did often happen when we had plans for later in the day. Then I’d end up going on my own. He got to sit around at home and play around on his phone, probably texting other women like he had done before. After we separated, my ex faked having liver cancer and other health issues in a failed attempt to get me back. Magically, once I started the divorce process and he figured out I wasn’t coming back, he miraculously got better. He still tries to pull having health scares but I don’t buy into them anymore.
    On a slightly different note, whenever I got upset with him, he went straight for the suicide scare tactic. He locked himself in the bathroom with a gun numerous times and another time, he drove away with the gun. He knew that I couldn’t continue to be”upset” with him if I thought he would kill himself.
    Getting away from him has been the best thing I’ve ever done! It has really opened my eyes to his true behavior. I can’t believe I put up with it for so long!

  14. My Narc would fake headaches constantly to get out of obligations and responsibilities It was so stupid. I left him 6 momths ago.

  15. My narc ex use to fake boughts of depression. He would sleep all day, mope around, and not shower because things did not go his way. He would make everyone miserable until he got what he wanted. Once he got it, his depression was over and he was love bombing me.

  16. My ex narc complained about a sharp pain in her right side for a long time, after doing every test available to man, they found nothing wrong with her. I was very supportive and offered to go with her to every appointment but she said she would be ok. She said you probably think I’m crazy and that there’s nothing wrong with me. I didn’t think it then but now I’m pretty sure it was for attention.

  17. Hahahah…WOW. MY EX HUSBAND USE to fake(well still does from what his girlfriend’s have said) pain in his chest, like he’s having a heart attack. He would even fall down on the floor. He would go to the hospital with me (AT FIRST) by his side. He would look up at me and say “your not going to leave me ARE YOU?” At first i fell for it but with what he did on top of it all the other stuff I finally left. Yes I did go back to him 4 or even 5 times but than it finally sunk in and I’m gone for good. NO TURNING BACK. I was younger at the time when all this happened to me with him so I know his tricks and he’s like that to this day. The only reason I have to have some kind of contact is because I have children by him. Which he uses as leverage against me. I can’t even live in the same state because of his controlling. When your ready you will know. Time is precious for you so don’t wait to long.

  18. They are the Devil !!! Sucked the life out of me n took my spirit ! But my day is coming , not saying a word , I have everything in my head from 5 years ago til now of everything he done to me ! Yes I’m stuck right now but hopefully not much longer he is in for real surprise !! I ask myself over n over how I wasted these years of my life , but it made me stronger I guess it all happen for a reason !! AnywY YES they fake illness n pain n saying they r going to kill themselves ! Sometimes I say do it you will do all of us a favor !!

  19. My ex would routinely “one up” anything I complained about. If I had a headache, his was worse. If I had knee pain, he also had knee pain. If I felt I was coming down with a cold, so was he but worse. Then to boot he would make me feel week for complaining of something. I was (still am) struggling with a constant 24/7 headache when I was married to him and he accused me of faking it to get out of sex and also told friends (in my presence) that I was taking pain meds “all the time”because I had a low pain tolerance. I have a very high pain tolerance buy living with a constant headache is tough! He complained to everyone about any ailment he had, while hardly anyone knew I was struggling with headaches. Sooo glad to be done with that man!

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