I need help…

I need help…

I’ve been in a relationship on and off for five years and my partner has finally left me ‘for good’.  I have really struggled in this relationship and it has affected me financially, psychologically and other ways.  I question myself, “Am I a narcissist?”  No, I don’t think I am, although the way that I had started responding at times was to lose my temper and to try to stand up to my rights of being treated decently, yet I am “the crazy one”.  My whole life had been destroyed from what it was when I met her.  I need to find out … am I a narcissist, how can I control my temper during these incredibly stressful times of abandonment, control and berating done to me, and to get my head back together so that I’m finally in a healthy place again.  I really am desperate to find some sort of workshop, therapy, talk group etc.  I need to purge all this … and I need to heal old child wounds that started being triggered.  And I just need to off-load.  And I’m not sure now if I’m not good at validating, if it’s “all about self-centred egotistical me” … is it just that I can’t validate a loving partner and they understandably become frustrated and hurt?  Do I turn everything round to ‘what about my hurt’ every time … and what about the times when her behaviour towards me was just completely unreasonable that I couldn’t validate it or how she was feeling at the time … like when I was late for her birthday because I’d split my knee open and she decided to go out with her family instead and pretend that everything was OK, and … well, there’s more to that story, ending in her calling me bully and other things, and leaving me … again.   I really need help!

2 thoughts on “I need help…

  1. You may indeed have narcissistic tendencies, but probably are not a narc. You lose your temper because of all the Crazy making” they put you through. Those childhood wounds keep you in the relationship. Seek out a good councillor/therapy, it has helped me so much. Remember they project their insecurities and fears onto you and try to make you believe everything is your fault! My narc was a bully too and hated it when I stood up for myself. Get out now and don’t look back.

  2. Same here, but in reverse. He drove me into debt, lied constantly, shamed/humiliated me and my son until I finally saw him for what he was. A shape shifter with no soul. Talk therapy helped A LOT, making me realize that I do have things that I needed to work on, I Wasn’t the one who was dysfunctional. It’s hard working through all those feelings, especially since they’ve convinced you so hard that you were at fault for everything. I was in a place, so broken down as a person and apologizing for everything, no able to make simple decisions because I was scared to be ‘wrong’. But with that person you’re Always Wrong. Its all a lie. I did research, read all the articles and a couple books, but to move forward and hopefully to a fulfilling life and relationship you need to reestablish your self worth, focus and take care of yourself. The counselor I visited was affiliated with a Christian church, even though I was not, and I cannot express how much she had helped with my recovery. I hope you take care.

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