Guys I’m reaching out to anyone because I have totally destroyed my life because I am a narcissist. I have had 2 failed engagements I have no friends and very little family. I cannot build any meaningful relationships or friendships because all I do is lie. I have lied and cheated my way through life and I have literally lost my soul mate. The woman who completed me. I’m reaching for help because I cannot trust myself in any way shape or form. The voice in my head is constantly telling me it’s all going to be ok and it’s ruining me. It’s ruining everything. I’m going to be alone on my 30th birthday and I have no one. It’s all my.fault and I have 2 options, either get help and realize I can’t do this alone, or I kill myself because I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially her, anymore. I’m trying as much as I can to be honest but even then, am I manipulating myself? Lying so much. I believe my own lies? Please, someone, anyone……help.