I don’t want to cause waves

I don’t want to cause waves

I have a question about a situation that will happen today and I’m not sure how to handle it. I work with my narcissist very closely. He is a colleague not my boss. We had a relationship, however now we don’t speak outside of work. He has recruited some young impressionable girls who we also work with, with his mask and charm. I’m finding it difficult to avoid the mean/nice cycle with him even when I stay away. Yesterday he approached me in front of people at work and told me he was at the farmers market and bought me a few things that he knows I like. He is going to bring them to me at work today. I know the reason for this is because he was with the girls at the market and he’s keeping me in a positive light to them so he looks like the victim and the ‘nice’ guy. He’s never bought me anything in his life (aside from flowers six months ago) and I know that this action is not genuine and only to impress the girls he was with. I don’t want to accept the gifts today, but I don’t want to cause waves. I feel that once he is able to make these positive gestures when no one else is looking, then I may believe his motives are pure. Any advice?

3 thoughts on “I don’t want to cause waves

  1. Accept the gift graciously but with the minimum amount of thanks. No need to fuel his grandiosity. I think if you refuse the gift, it will play into the trap he’s setting for you with the other girls.

    If you’re uncomfortable keeping the gift, you could always donate it to charity after the fact.

  2. Friend whether or not anyone is looking get one fact straight with your head and heart – a narcissist’s motives are NEVER pure. Beef up your knowledge of narcissism and especially triangulation – that will be his next move with all this fresh narcissistic supply. Consider a new job and don’t work-place date.

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