Does she just need more time?

Does she just need more time?

I am about 2 years out of a life being mostly controlled by narcissistic individuals; who emotionally and spiritually abused me. For 19 years, it was my Dad, then a ‘break’ if you will, then about 20 years from a manipulative, lying, (though charismatic) preacher.  Dad has been gone a good number of years now. Cutting off the church/preacher completely was a difficult and long process.  We as a family have been out and free now for about 2 years. I am married with children – all occurring during this ‘church’ time. My question is this: my eldest, now 20, knows nothing except a childhood under this oppressive preacher, and of course being parented by a mom and dad under this man’s control and fear tactics. She suffers terribly. She struggles with social situations. She has no real ‘friends’.  She is beautiful, talented, smart, and has so much going for her – but is sad much of the time.  She is in college and does very well, lives at home, and is heavily into social media and the newfound music she loves since leaving the church. She sees a therapist every 2 weeks or so, which has helped her a lot, but how do I, as her mom, help her to get out, make friends and be happy?  I, to an extent, know just how she feels and want to help so badly – but at the same time, she is an adult and I don’t want to tell her what she should do.  She has fears and anxieties that keep her home, safe with her parents, siblings and surroundings.  Besides telling her I understand and love her, what will help give her more confidence and a more positive outlook on things?   How do I get her to move on and experience the life a 20 year old should be having?  She fully realizes that the potential is there, but has no motivation to try and get it. It’s very sad for me as her Mom to feel so powerless and unable to give the right advice.  Does she just need more time?  She cries often about not having a normal life and then not knowing how to change it.  This is very hard on me, her Dad, and siblings as well – but mostly on her.  She deserves so much more than what she is experiencing currently.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

My ‘friends’ from my former church troll my pages as well as my daughter’s.  They no longer speak to us, but feel the need to know everything we do since leaving, so trolling is a common practice when anyone is forced out or leaves on their own.  These people in this cult are sadly under the mesmerizing leadership of a sick man and his family and worship the very ground he walks on. They will do anything he says, and part of it is being his flying monkeys.  Sure, I’d love to move far away, but that simply isn’t possible at this time.

One thought on “Does she just need more time?

  1. Contact the police about the trolling.
    Recovery is a long process isn’t it, for everyone. Stay strong.

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