His behaviour didn’t change

His behaviour didn’t change

Only just found this website via a friend who posted something on her Facebook wall.

I have a few questions about how to spot someone who has a Narcissistic Personality. I’ll tell you my story and hopefully I’ll have an answer.

I met M four years ago whilst I was still married to an abusive man who threatened to hit me all the time. After I divorced him I started to date M, we moved in together after a year and I brought my 2 year old son with me, after a few months M broke up with me as he told me he couldn’t handle my son (special needs), he was accusing me of cheating.. looked through my phone, asked why I didn’t call him enough or who certain people were in my texts… then we got back together after M promised it would be better and that he was sorry and he could learn to cope. He offered to go on courses to help him understand, which never happened. About a year ago I moved into my own place with my son and his behaviour got worse. I had to text him every night and every morning. If I didn’t he would think I didn’t “love him enough” or that I was cheating on him. He never made an effort to see my son and just wanted to see me. At Christmas this year he accused me of having men over after finding a scarf that I had tied to my bed. I threw him out and he blamed the drink for being stupid. Promising that he would never do it again. But his behaviour didn’t change. I stopped wearing make-up because he would make “jokes” that I was going to meet my boyfriend..I stopped seeing my friends as he got jealous. He blamed me for “being too pretty ” and that’s why he didn’t trust me, and finally last week he ambushed me outside of my work after I blocked him from all media, to tell me he had depression and he wanted to get help so we could get married. I feel guilty for leaving him and now I’m starting to have doubts…can you help?

My questions are these.. is this someone who truly has trust issues and is in need of help and understanding or does this look like a person who will never change? Thank you

Answer:

He sounds like a control freak more so than a narcissist. People often confuse the two and label people based off what they read on the internet instead of a real evaluation. Sounds like he is controlling and insecure more than a narcissist. He also would probably be a nightmare to be married to and not make for a good companion.

Will he change, I cannot say. That is completely up to him. – Mike

3 thoughts on “His behaviour didn’t change

  1. He sounds dangerously controlling. People like this will kill you, I.e., if I can’t have you, nobody can! Does Jodi Arias ring a bell? Move. Change your ph #, your email, your identity if nec. Avoid him. I would.

  2. Look up borderline personality disorder. He feels paranoia. Those who suffer from bpd. Usually had a narcisist close to them in child hood. Or early development or long periods of time. Like a long relationship. This sounds like bpd. And it’s very simple. If you love him tell him to go get a counselor. And you will be involved with his talk therapy. It is not you. Not you. But it is you and it is very difficult to ge tv over especially if it’s gone on a while. If you love him text him. If he is jealous of your son. I wouldn’t go back. These issue’s need reaolved. And some times. With recovery after they find tgeir “center ” may realise they don’t love you in that way.. they’re terrified of being left.

  3. If you have to change yourself to keep a relationship the. You’re in the wrong relationship. It not only affects you but your son too. If you can’t put yourself first then at least put your son first an ddo what’s right for him

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