Discussion Board

Discussion Board

👄 Did the narcissist in your life fail to return your possessions when the relationship ended?  My ex partner held on to a substantial amount of my clothes, shoes etc.  Is it theft?  It certainly is when they have no intention of returning them.  Narcissists are renowned for keeping your belongings.  Perhaps they do this so that you will beg for their return.  It is a sign of power and control.  Did you just let it go?

 

4 thoughts on “Discussion Board

  1. My partner passed this article along to me. The answer is yes. My NA never let me return to the home to retrieve my belongings when I left him. He didn’t participate in the divorce in a proactive way – and ultimately it ended in default.

    My belongings became a list that I had to provide him in hopes of during the legal process I would get them back. I feared I would not get my “stuff” back. And it was a huge source of pain. Giving him a “list” of al the items that I wanted was the same as giving him a map to what to destroy first. And largely that is what he did. In the end I got a few sentimental items back that he had no idea meant anything to me. He left the marital home eventually on his terms and I had to sort through garbage bags and filth to obtain anything of value.

    He posts on pinterest all these photo projects he is working on. Its his way of letting me know he took my camera and other items and is “enjoying them”.

    At first I was gutted about having nothing no belongings…. but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. His abuse isn’t tied to my belongings now. And the time and distance from his NA has given me real peace and even with out these items I am happy and living in peace.

  2. This is where I am in the break up. He says to call him first, but he won’t answer the phone. A registered letter from my attorney is sitting at the post office, but he won’t go sign for it. He contrIbuted no furnishings. Everything is mine. I want it. Do I just walk away after I worked hard for them. Some things are an investment. My daughter is dying and my father was just killed by someone who ran a red light. I am a wreck. Any suggestions?

  3. Yes, he kept all my things. Burned some clothes. Only certain ones that he felt meant something to me. All my Dad and Mom’s inherited things. After much pleading and getting others involved, he gave me some things back. Trickled a few things at a time until I got most of it. I think he still liked having power over me. He even let our adult sons pick over my things and take what they wanted like I had died. And now he wonders why I hate him so much when he still has the rest of my things. He thought we could be friends! He was delusional! Attorneys said there was nothing I could do except “be nice to him!”
    He did me a favor by purging my closet. Unfortunately I still have to see him at family functions, but I am so much happier and don’t have to deal with him anymore.

  4. Yes, he wouldn’t let me back in to pick up things so I asked the Court to give me a date to pick up my stuff. I hired a moving van and four movers to help me. When I got to the house, it was empty. I went back to court to get another date to get my things and he was told he had to let me in to his residence to collect my things. When I went, there was nothing of mine there. He told the judge that he had warned the court that I was crazy and that proved it. Much of what is gone belonged to my grandmother or my mother and it’s all gone…..

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