Discussion Board

Discussion Board

Unfortunately some people tend to feel pangs of guilt when they go ‘no contact’ with a family member. However, sometimes this is the only option in order to protect yourself from abuse. Did you feel guilty?

7 thoughts on “Discussion Board

  1. I have had no contact with my daughter in 3 years,except running into her by accident.She used my grandson to control me untill he passed away in 2014 from a fatal brain disease.She treated me like crap for years.When my grandson passed,she knew she did not have control anymore She went from being VERBLE abusive to throwing furniture at me in my own home.I told her I was not gonna be her doormat anymore.When I ran into her she acted like nothing ever happened.She never admits to anything,it’s all my fault.When I was around her I was depressed all the time! I feel much better with no contact.I don’t know if our relationship will ever be healed.

  2. I will always feel guilty. My mom is the controlling narc. Her sister is completely controlled by my mom as is my cousin. As much as they all hate and treat each other terribly they stick to one another like glue. It’s a a complete and total breakdown of dysfunctional interaction. Everyone of them is so very sick and codependent. Me? Well thanks to my mom’s smear campaign disguised as concerned I am the black sheep aka “terrible person” never to be trusted. I feel guilty for leaving them with their mess. I always felt that I could fix them and make them better people. I figured finally realized that the joke was on me. I had to go no contact for my own sanity and to protect my kids. I got tired of being broken down over and over. I will always feel like someone who doesn’t deserve to be cared about. When you’ve been treated that way your whole life, you don’t know how else to feel. I’ve gotten dirty looks from family members who don’t know the truth. They believe the lies that she tells. It will take a lifetime to recover.

    1. i feel just like you, my brother is just like my mom. all she talks about is whatever concerns her and dismisses everything I say. I feel like in some way shape or form that I need to be involved in her life or I feel some sort of guilt, I want a mother daughter relationship but realistically thinking I know that’s not going to happen, because shes set in her ways and doesn’t think the way she is living is wrong.

  3. People act as though narcissism only occurs in romantic relationships or when a parent is a narcissist. The truth is the behaviors began long before the narcissist reached adulthood.

    My child has been diagnosed with conduct disorder. She is violent, verbally and physically abusive. She fits all the characteristics of a narcissist. Well meaning advice ranges from spanking to therapy or talking it out. That’s not going to work because we’ve tried it and she believes everyone else is to blame. She plays the victim so well to outsiders. She is currently in a mental health facility where she plays these games with the staff and gives me the silent treatment from the hospital.

    When she comes back home she will pick up where she left off. I have 5 years until I am no longer legally responsible for my abuser. I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I fear for the people she will abuse once I am no longer an available target. I feel as though I have failed her. I feel guilty for planning my retreat in advance.

  4. Hello everyone, as mentioned in a previous comment, some people believe that narcissism only occurs in a romantic relationship, but I experienced it with my sister. I’ve tried before to separate from her, but just couldn’t, until one day she decided to take her rage (criticizing her, comparing her with other girls, being rude to her, trying to make me being aggressive towards my daughter, etc) with my 10 year old daughter. That’s the day I got all the courage I’ve never had before, sent her a message, “stating politely” that I didn’t like her attitude towards my daughter, and stop talking to her, this time, I didn’t feel any regret, remorse, nor guilt for stating my feelings and not allowing her to hurt me, or my daughter anymore.

  5. I always feel guilty too. I stopped contact with my mom about 8 momths ago, it has been freeing, but I constantly feel guilty and worry about her well being. I finally got to a breaking point went her abuse shook my 10 year old daughter to her core, and my mom placed the blame completely on my daughter. After the 8 months, I realized how much negativity she added to my family’s life. I often wonder if I will cave. I am able to keep strong more for my family than myself.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.