Discussion Board

Discussion Board

Narcissists are renowned for provoking a target until they react. When you finally snap, they sit back calm and composed making you look like the crazy one! Have you experienced this behaviour?

13 thoughts on “Discussion Board

  1. This guy I dated wold make plans to meet up, and be super excited about it, only to leave me there waiting for him, not knowing he had no intention of showing up or even informing me that he couldn’t make it. This happened a few times, and I let it go- because sometimes things do come up. But then I realised he would do it because it caused him some sick pleasure in keeping me waiting for him! When I finally got tired of him playing juvenile games and confronted him about it, he was completely indifferent towards what I said, like somehow I was obligated to put everything aside for him and expect nothing in return. Suddenly, I’m the crazy one with “unreasonable expectations.”

    1. there’s something he does when I call him out on something and he can’t get out of it… I think he’s just silent and that makes it go away.

  2. Yes I have been charged in criminal charges from not one but two all bc I stood up to their actions and now the courts have favored the abusers. Fair the court system does not see the abuse only adds to it and the true criminal is not charged.

  3. Was literally just thinking about this earlier today. I went back to live with my parents years ago after yet another share house situation fell through (which they perceived as me being unable to cope). I copped so much abuse, insults, interference & harassment. I snapped. The embarrassment about which gave them the opportunity to gloss it over with some nonsense – again me not coping, no acceptance on their behalf of their behaviour, and alienating me further from my extended family. My brother then proceeded to organise a family holiday (interstate) with extended family (on the other side). I was neither told nor invited. He told my family he hadn’t heard from me. When my uncle visited my city and emailed me UPON LEAVING, I cracked it, that he caught up with everyone else EXCEPT me and only contacted me after it was too late. I told him how I’d been treated by my immediate family and how I hadn’t been invited nor told about the holiday. His reply? I hadn’t been in touch. Like seriously, WTF?!?! Who says that to someone who’s been through such a hard time & who raises those things? How uncompassionate can you be?!?! (I told him to go F himself! Lol!)
    I received the group family email about Christmas from the local extended family & again, cracked it, saying I’d rather spend the day elsewhere than with people who treat me like crap & go behind my back! (Referring to my immediate family. Not necessarily elegant, I admit, but you get boxed in a corner, and it’s so hard to find the moderate words to express yourself because it’s so unreasonable & thsyre behaving as if everything is normal! It’s so stressful!) Their response?! “I’ll bring the drinks!” “Can’t wait, will be a great day!!” :’-( Zero acknowledgement. It’s like I didn’t even speak. I don’t waste my time with them anymore. I don’t even want to! What a bunch of psychos!! Even if they don’t agree or don’t want to get too involved, it’s not hard to reach out & say “I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, if there’s anything I can do, let me know.” Nah, they’re too self righteous/ self absorbed for that! I’m happier without them!! 🙂
    It’s happened since I was a kid though – the way in which I’m perceived is vastly different to the way I am. Gives me many “What the??” moments! Which I’m sure has plenty to do with my meddling interfering narc mother. Whatever. I know me, I know the truth. They can believe whatever they want!
    And yes, I (unsurprisingly) have had some mental health issues, which makes an easy scapegoat. I feel much better without them in my life though!! Who needs ’em?!?! Not me!!

    1. I have some mental health issues too and that means they all get to blame all their issues on me. Anything I might have to say– any problem in the family– is because of me. It’s awful.
      My husband is getting odder and odder. Today I told him I really wasn’t feeling well, I was worried, I could see the signs– and he didn’t have any words of “Oh no! What’s going on? etc. etc.” I only realized this after a while. You get so used to things, you know?
      I’m getting tired of it too. I wish I could go away and be alone and not have everything I do taken up as data against me.

  4. Yes. It used to happen a lot and then stopped happening so much, but seems to be on the way back again now. Must admit I though we’d got through that behaviour. There always has to be a third party, classic triangulation. He knows it winds me up. Sometimes I deal with it ok and sometimes not so ok. I don’t understand why do this with someone you allegedly love?

  5. Yes. He’d start some lecture from out of nowhere…prodding me with insults (masked as his “new jersey humor that you Californians don’t get). First time, I was so appalled & shocked by his insulting accusation that I too raised my voice, shouting my reasoning, actually believing he would see it, back down & apologize. Instead, when I hit the high notes (SO unlike me to shout !) he SMILED….and the smile was exactly the same as when we’d had sex. I shuddered and left his house. The second time it took him longer to get me to finally reach shouting point….he’d left me completely alone on my birthday, which was also Thanksgiving. Later that evening he showed up complaining that he hadn’t gotten cranberry sauce…etc. He frantically insulted me for not having my home decorated for Christmas…I’m “always” on electronic devices & people are always “fawning” all over me on Facebook..on and on until I’d had it and shouted back. Again he SMILED widely…as he was making his way to his car to leave. Happy Birthday to me. My gift was realizing something was VERY wrong with this person, and I needed to face it & get out.

  6. This is my wife down to a tee. Everything I do is an issue regardless if I do it her way or another way. Our finances run low and I try to approach it with her that the $1200 per month cigarette and booze habit she has is causing an impact only to be told I’m not making enough money. I can often sit for 45 mins while she tells me how loathsome I am while I just plead with her to leave it alone until I snap and yell at her to please f off and leave me alone. At which point she jumps on it and tries to turn me into the bad guy with an anger issue. Conversations about our relationship result in her denying any wrongdoing and that I am the singular cause for blame in anything remotely stressful that happens. I’ve withdrawn from my friends as she invades my privacy on private messages whenever she can and calls them horrible names despite her never even meeting these people. It’s just awful on a grand scale and I feel my only option left is to leave and deal with the potential bullshit she has told me she will spread about me if I do. It’s like a nightmare I can’t wake up from.

  7. I’ve been with a n/gambling addict for 13 years and have experienced this so many times. When the consequence of his action/s doesn’t go his way by his rules, I am referred to as a nutter. I am strong and know better. I cannot and will no longer accept his approach of even telling my adult children that I am
    a nutter too! How cowardly. I often got the characteristics mixed up with his gambling addiction and narcissism and often excused his behaviour due to his compulsive gambling. How wrong was I?! It’s both.

  8. Happened all the time. He totally made it up and it had no relation to anything that happened. Sample :
    Him: You always do such and such.
    Me: I don’t recall that.
    Him Later: You just did such and such.
    Me (bewildered): But I didn’t.
    Him days or weeks later: YOU JUST DID SUCH AND SUCH AGAIN!
    Me: Well, I don’t recall doing it, but if you think I did, I’m really sorry for upsetting you.
    Him: SEE! I TOLD YOU THAT YOU ALWAYS DO IT! YOU’RE SO STUPID! (Followed by multiple obscenities and slamming out of the house)

  9. It happened to me. A person with a narcissist personality, sooner or later will show its true face to everyone. My sister started two years ago with some “narcissist traits”, “discarding of people”, “taking advantage of people”, “sudden hate towards certain people”, until one day she decided to take it on my ten year old daughter! After setting my boundaries with her, (stop any type of communication), she claims, that “I misunderstood what she meant, I misunderstood her attitude towards my daughter”. Stopping any type of communication (we were very close), has only brought me peace.

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