Narcissists And Friendship

Narcissists And Friendship

Is a narcissist capable of being a true friend?

Friendship is built upon trust, loyalty, empathy and having mutual respect for each other.  Narcissists do not possess any of these qualities and as such do not make meaningful friendships.  The narcissist does not need friends.  They need Narcissistic Supply.  Any so called ‘friends’ are seen simply as a source of that supply.  Acquaintances tend to come and go throughout the narcissist’s life.

As with any relationship with a narcissist, ‘friendship’ with these individuals often gets off to an excellent start.  People are impressed and fooled by their charm and charisma.  Unknown to them, they are manipulated and used for a time until the narcissist no longer sees them as a good source of supply.  At such times these so called friends are devalued and discarded.Need narcissistic supply.

As time passes, people, even those who have hung around for years, usually see the narcissist’s true colours and how they treat others.  If they have not yet been abandoned by the narcissist, they become sickened by their behaviour, by their moods, their continuous conflicts, by their complete disregard for other people’s feelings, by their delight at ripping people off and putting others down, that they eventually do the abandoning and leave the narcissist to drown in their own cesspool which they, themselves, have created.

Time has a wonderful way of revealing truth.  The narcissist’s social circle vanishes.  They are no longer tolerated by those who realise that there is absolutely nothing to gain from holding on to ties with this toxic personality.

Will the narcissist blame others for the situation that they find themselves in?

More than likely.  They have alienated everyone who has had the misfortune to walk into their lives but somehow they fail to see that their abandonment has been their own doing.

Written by Anne McCrea

8 thoughts on “Narcissists And Friendship

  1. OMG, that’s my ex, he has no friends, and people are starting to see what he is like…and they are jumping ship…leaving him behind….

  2. I am not a hateful, spiteful nor vengeful person but I do pray that God reveals to our friends and his family who my soon to be ex really is and how horribly bad he has treated me and others.. No one deserves the cruelty that these people inflict onto others. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord and I am working to rest in God’s word and leave it ALL in his hands now

  3. This is my Mother to a “T” We (my Son and I) helped her while she was sick, and has now discarded us and has rekindled relationships with people she badmouthed during the time we were there, and bad mouthing us to them stating we abuse her, steal from her, she has to pay our bills, etc all of which is untrue. In fact we pay our equal share of all the household bills plus our own personal bills. In the end, she has to live with herself, that she cannot escape. The sad part is, soon enough, the people she is “using” now to feed her narcissistic needs, will be discarded in the same manner as my Son and I when “new blood” becomes available for her to thrive on. Only then will the “worker bees” or “sheep” that she is using now realize what we have gone thru, and I hope apologize to us for believing any of her lies.

  4. Don’t take it personally.
    Don’t waste time hoping for them to change.
    Be pleased you finally saw the truth.
    Be strong and don’t forget.
    Accept the offer of friendship and give forgiveness if and only if the narc fully apologises and acknowledges the entirity if their behaviour and does so when they don’t have anything to gain other than the lost friendship you probably still miss.
    There are lots of wonderful people out there to spend time with instead.

    Good luck.

    1. I am still waiting for a narc to admit to doing wrong or to apologize. That would help so much – for them to acknowledge that they use, abuse, dominate manipulate and lie – do whatever it takes to get what they want. Do they ever get a glimpse of who they are?

  5. These people? are the worst kind. The narcissist I was involved with was the most charming, lovable person you would ever wish to meet. Fast forward a month when the devalue started and then the discard. This cycle of idealisation , devalue and discard went on for about 6 months then I cottoned on to what he was. I confronted him with his behaviour and wow did he go off it. I got the full tirade of abuse I had become the whore of Babylon. I was shit on the soles of his shoe , I had sex with strangers, I only got to my position at work through sleeping with bosses. Sick, sick man. Toxic yes. dangerous yes, started no contact changed everything that he could use to get to me. He even set up fake e-mail address so he could get a reaction from me. Still do not know if he will try anymore to contact me although I thought I saw his car in my neighbourhood. I just want him to leave me alone.

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