Have you ever sat alone and wondered “where are they?” The people like yourself, a community that shares your thoughts, your beliefs your love and honesty?
It seems you spend most of your life trying to understand the past with the expectation that an insight into who you are and how you respond to this world it will follow.
Why does an attractive, intelligent, warm, loving, giving person end up a shattered tortured soul afraid of so many things?
Would you not expect that this soul should have peace, love and support?
No it seems.
This is the story of a woman who’s only ‘failing’ was to be too understanding, too loving, too giving to the point of virtually giving away her soul to try and help another.
A woman who has seen, felt, endured, tolerated and nearly crumbled under the weight of abuse on all levels, physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual.
A very young woman who’s fear is how that she will not live for very long because of the final betrayal of her body which through so tremendous emotional torture has become a self-manifesting time bomb. She has developed a potentially life threatening condition which to exacerbate the situation can receive no conclusive help.
The medical profession shuns her, as they do not want to take responsibility for their errors, rather than throw a buoy to a very frustrated, emotionally damaged yet absolutely rational human being. They choose to compound her weakened state: – Why is it when you’re down all the crud comes knocking on your door?
Personally I believe everything we are given we can handle and many a life lessons contained within. However that’s easy to say when you’ve reach the other side of hell. It’s the parallel universe it seems.
How powerful our minds are with equal ability to create or destroy!
I see her sitting alone on her balcony long into the early morning hours as sleep is elusive at best. Those hours are spent creating pieces of amazing beauty and skill. They surround her, considered her support, her friends and confidents. Which have now deserted her. Whilst yes they obviously we’re not genuine friends or persons of strength to hold a hand of a survivor of abuse.
That label makes people feel dirty, afraid and uncomfortable. If none the less, it yet again reaffirms the emphasis of their world into this hurt and confused sail.
As she sits there night after night asking the stars in the sky, “where are you”? I’d like her to know we are here, when you are ready.