Who would believe me?

Who would believe me?

My narc father has fooled nearly everyone in the neighbourhood and the church.  Everyone thinks he’s a great family man but he’s treated his family like dirt since as long as I can remember.  My mother probably suffered the most with constant put downs and endless silent treatments when he didn’t get his own way.  When he walks out the door he’s so charming to everyone he meets laughing and joking as if he’s the world’s best dad.  I want people to know the truth.  How do I do it?  Who will believe me?  He’s ruined my mum’s life and mine.

5 thoughts on “Who would believe me?

  1. I don’t know how old you are, but he will never change. And trying to get people to listen to you is….. a waste of your life.
    My advice is get on with living, and try to distance yourself from him as much as possible. This will be hard at first, he will try to control how people perceive the situation, tell people you & your mother are crazy, etc. It is a lot to endure, but a life away from torment is worth it! The LESS CONTACT you have with him, the better. Don’t badmouth him, that’s just a war of words. Let your actions — pursuing your own healthy life, be your example. It will take time, but he will self-implode and even if he doesn’t…. you are far better off than the life you are living now. Just remember– there are no magic words. He will never change. Blessings to you!

  2. Truth is your only weapon. Your feet need to be firmly planted in reality and not at all mingled in your father’s lies and facade. The truth of his actions and abuse should be stated clearly. I know it is extremely difficult, but try to avoid being tangled in all the negative emotions he has caused. Emotions often cloud the facts of his actions to other people who may be having a hard time believing what he has done. Never stop speaking your truth. Even if others don’t believe you, always stick with Truth. The Bible tells us that ‘you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

  3. Thank you – I have not spoken out against my father for the fear that no one will believe me – that is an incredibly lonely feeling. I still struggle to understand how he can treat my mother so badly and I feel helpless to ‘rescue’ her. It is a constant battle with myself to feel ok about keeping him out of my life.

  4. No one would ever believe me. I realized just how long he’s been building this set up about how truly wonderful he is.
    I will just say say with a shrug “it wasn’t working out,” or “we just weren’t suited.” Trying to convince anyone would just kill me and they’d never believe me. That’s only for people who’ve been through it, if I can find some.

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