Poor poor you…you are killing yourself

Poor poor you…you are killing yourself

We once loved each other…  Maybe, in a way, we still do.  Now our love is different… It’s no longer pure and easy.  Maybe I’m lying to myself and we don’t love each other at all anymore. Maybe we just tolerate each other…  Because of memories…  Because you need me… Because it’s what we are supposed to do.  We once knew each other.  I could tell by the look on your face what you were thinking…  If you were mad or happy or sad.  I once knew everything about you…  What you stood for and what you believed in…  But that was a long time ago.  Now you are a stranger with a familiar face.  A family once happy, is now in torment.  You used to help others…  Now you only think of yourself.  You lie and manipulate.  You’re so good at that.  Nothing is ever your fault.  You are self centred.  Poor you…  Poor poor pitiful you! You are ‘sick,’ the Doctor wouldn’t give you pills if you weren’t.  Pills for pain…  Pills for sleep…  Pills to wake up…  Pills for nightmares…  Pills for anxiety…  Stronger pills!!  For the pain of course… You’re sick… You need them.  The Doctor says so!  Some how every month you are broke.  Any excuse will do.  Lie to me!  I expect it!  You ran out of pills?  Oh no!  We will take care of you!  You didn’t buy food?  Oh no!  Here take mine!  You didn’t pay your bills??  It’s not your fault…  Let me pay it.  On and on…  This is life now.  You  don’t call to laugh and chat anymore.  Sometimes I forget.  But you quickly remind me when I do.  Who are you?  Why have you changed?  I miss you!!  Lie to me!  Tell me you’ll get better!  I’m angry!!  So damn angry!  Yet I’m not supposed to be…  You don’t turn your back on family!! Let’s not take any attention off of you!  I’m not supposed to be angry with you…  You are sick! You can’t help it!  You aren’t an addict!  How disrespectful of me to say otherwise!  You are sick…  Poor poor you!  You are killing yourself…  Slowly…  Closer each day…  But in a way… You died a long time ago.  I’m not supposed to talk about it…  Everything’s fine…  You are fine…  Smile!  Don’t tell our secrets…  Don’t get angry…  Don’t turn your back on family! That’s wrong!  Love the addict!  Right?  Am I handling this right??  Don’t talk about your problem.  I don’t want to make you angry.  You need more pills when you are angry.  There, there, you don’t have a problem.  You are sick… The Doctor says so.  Here take my money… **smile** “I love you!”

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