Nowhere to go and no one to turn to

Nowhere to go and no one to turn to

I’m exhausted, he doesn’t let me sleep much, tonight when he attacked me I begged him to put me out of my misery.  To kill me.  I can’t take it anymore.  He came at me I just let him, I didn’t fight back, I was calm, I said, “do it, just finish me.”  I didn’t care, I’m numb.  I’m now sitting in my car in a parking lot in 40 degree weather with nowhere to go and no one to turn to.  All these people that say they’re there, really aren’t.  It’s just words.  I know he has to ruin every holiday.  I know that.  But I don’t care anymore.  I’m empty, numb.  I have to go back.  My kids are there.  I hate this.  I just needed to get rid of this.

9 thoughts on “Nowhere to go and no one to turn to

  1. Find the nearest womans refuge and make a plan to leave for you and your babies before it’s too late

  2. Been there! My kids always brought me back to reality and responsibility every time. We are stronger than we realize. The battle will seem never ending. Get support in every which way possible- mentally and emotionally. Read…..there are resources here to help you keep going. My ex n has managed to suck in my 16 year old daughters head into thinking like him. I am online now looking for ways to reach out to my daughter and bring her back to reality. She has 3 brothers and her dad has managed to “divide and kill” the relationship that forms between siblings. Trust, respect, empathy, kindness has all been taken down. It is tearing me apart right now and I am at a loss. Through all I have read online and heard from so many woman I know that I will not give up. Its not in my personality and most likely not in yours. Hang tough!

  3. First and foremost: your safety. Please, contact a women’s shelter. You need the assistance they can give to start clearing your head. Let this be the bottom we ALL find to make the move.

  4. I in the same boat I tried women shelter and I Just couldn’t stay there I have no help at all. I pray to God all the time and psalm16:9 I have set the Lord always before me because he is at my right hand ; I shall not be moved. I know exactly how you fell because I feel exactly the same way. Now I only cry to my Heavenly Father and I put my total trust in Jesus.

  5. get professional help, review your exit strategy with your dr., put money aside in an account he doesnt know about n doesnt have his name on it so you can get you and your kids out of there, avoid dealing with him as much as possible and think of how great you will feel when you finally have that monster out of your living space and are healing!!! after four months out of an eleven year relationship with an abuser i am genuinely happy which i could never be with that animal bc he couldnt stand to see anything make me happy. he had an episode of rage the day before a holiday that left me crying for hours. that was the beginning of the end of our marriage. i wish u had been saving money the whole time so i could have left sooner. take a loan if you have to just get out!

  6. I left my Narc and filed for a divorce, every time i go to court, thinking this is the day i will get divorced, he contest the divorce, playing games, They are sadistic, hide behind religion and nice words, and honestly believe their own lies, he has alienated me from friends, thank God for a strong family, as they support me. He works for a month then stays home for another and so it goes on and on, they don’t care what you go through. emotionally they are undeveloped.

  7. I feel for you. I was in the same boat but it was a couple of weeks earlier and it was 9 degrees.

    We are just hopeless. I explained to a therapist that I left to de-escalate the situation. I left my kids with him. I absolutely do not feel he would ever hurt him.

    My therapist turned me in to DFS for child neglect so doing that. I may have a huge disagreement with him but I know he won’t hurt the kids.

    Just another sucker punch. I turn to help from a therapist and she reports me for child neglect. And the abused just keep getting abused. Isn’t that the story of our lives?

Comments are closed.

Comments are closed.