My first serious relationship

My first serious relationship

It all started when I was 16 and I was easy and naïve (easy target) I was having problems with my previous boyfriend and he jumped in to help me get through it. We stayed talking and I started to fall for him and “he fell for me.”  So I left the other boy and got with him.

It was my first serious relationship, I thought it was grown up to date someone who was 3 years older than me.   He was all loving, caring and got along with my family so well.  Until I went on holiday with my family.  I made a few friends on holiday and he thought I’ll cheat on him.  So he started acting up.  So me, was begging him to believe me and I did what he wanted me to do.  He would always talk about making a family with me and getting married.  I always told him when I’m a lot older.

Then two months into college I fell pregnant.  Sadly I had a termination as I was only 16, but during this time he would be trying to get back with his ex girlfriend.  I took an over dose because I thought he was my everything.  I ended getting him back as she didn’t want to rush to get back with him.  So he “chose me.”

He didn’t let me go out to see my best friend.  He got worse near the end.  He would touch me up after college each day, he would make me walk to his everyday after a long day at college.  He would want to have sex with me, even when I didn’t want to.  It got so bad I couldn’t have a shower unless it was with him.  He always threatened he will end his life and always got me back.  Then I finally left him for good. I walked out his door with no hug or kiss and he texted me insults.

I had to go counselling because I couldn’t stand the feeling he left on me, I would turn against my friends because I couldn’t trust anyone.  I’m still bad now.

However it’s been over a year since I left him, and I’m so much better.  I’m more happy and I can be me.
Sadly I still live in fear of him.  I take showers everyday because I feel horrible if I didn’t, I get memories of everything he made me do.

I’m not saying it will ever be easy, but I know we all can get through this.  I’m 18 in my second year of college, and if I didn’t end it soon I wouldn’t be here.

Thanks to this page, I learnt who he was and I can come to terms with it.

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