I will heal from this

I will heal from this

I am on day 20 of zero contact with my ex Narc.  Currently getting love bombed and have been warned that if I contact he will make sure it is finished on his terms next time…to punish me.

My mind doesn’t stop with how I would respond…if I was going to respond.  So just want to share something that may be helpful for those in the same situation…

I write the texts into ‘notes’ on my phone… so at least I can express how I’m feeling and get it out of my mind.  I will never send them because I already know how he will react and attack.  The quickest way through this quagmire of pain is zero contact…but I think it’s important to express.

When I read through my notes of unsent responses, I can clearly see the depth of pain I’m in…but also as the days go on I can see that I will heal from this and the tsunamis of emotions from intense love to hate and anger are very real.

Hope this helps someone.  Grateful for the support on this page. ❤️

3 thoughts on “I will heal from this

  1. WOW, Thank you so much!! I have been responding- not as much but he still had that hold on me where I feel I need to explain myself to help him understand. I Am to the point that even though it feels like my heart will shatter with zero contact I need to do this. Thank you for sharing this will be a tool I’ll need to use.

  2. Really cool stuff. Keep writing and find a few good friends to talk openly about it. I really didn’t know how to move on for the longest time. All that would go through my mind were the terrible things she had said to me during the final throws of our relationship. I was constantly going into guilt and shame about it. One day I realized that the reason she left was because I was changing for the better and she didn’t like it. I had realized some mistakes that I made in the way I entered the relationship. When I confessed those things to her, she raged uncontrollably. She didn’t want me to change, she projected her own insanity onto me and I believed it. I felt guilty for going no contact. But by talking and writing I realized that someone who gets mad at you for confessing your transgressions against them is not a friend, and certainly not a lover. It’s been about a year now and I’m beginning to retake control of my own life; not just living for others, but finding my own identity. It hasn’t been easy and the hardest times were when I wouldn’t reach out for help. I guess, I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope make it there too.

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