I attempted to reason with the unreasonable

I attempted to reason with the unreasonable

I made the huge mistake of breaking the no contact rule I had in place.  My narc ex husband of over 8 years recently started being nice and communicating about our children.  I knew it was a matter of time.  I even warned our kids not to get their hopes up, my almost 19 year old was leery, but my 13 almost 14 year old was hopeful.  Well it only took a week, but here I am kicking myself and feeling so stupid.  I let him get to me, I let him bring up the past, mock me, criticize me as a mother, indirectly call me a deadbeat (I am now paying him child support) and he got in my head…again.  I had worked so hard to keep him out.  I thought I could keep the boundaries this time…ha!!  What was I thinking?  He will never stop being hateful and evil and mean.  My poor kids are suffering his mental/verbal abuse and I’m worried about my son.  He convinced him at 12 to live with him…he told him I lied in court and took our kids from him, so I owed him.  My poor son was manipulated into living with him full time and I only have visits.  Now I’m concerned for my son’s mental health.  My daughter lived there for 1 year when she was 17 1/2 and she called that year hell.  I have so much guilt for bringing these beautiful amazing children into hell.  I have once again told my ex no contact.  I am still trying to block the things he said to me and trying to forgive myself for attempting to reason with the unreasonable.  I knew better.

3 thoughts on “I attempted to reason with the unreasonable

  1. I just recently did the same thing. In less than 24 hours he had me doubting my own perception. My own feelings, thoughts etc. I won’t make the mistake again.

  2. He knows your access points remember this.

    All he has done is prove to you yet again what he is. He knew this would hurt you that was the intention. Forgive yourself and do what you have to do to be good to yourself and move on. Of no importance in the long run. Don’t condemn yourself most of us find it difficult to believe how evil these people are until we have fully recovered – yes that is possible.

    You will be much stronger after this episode. Now you know more than you did before and your resolve will be unflinching.

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