How do I prove it?

How do I prove it?

I take a sleeping pill and I am pretty sure he is putting it in me while I sleep.  I have asked him if he is and he said NO.  So my doctor thinks I am having tactical hallucination. I haven’t been able to prove it.
I have tried not taking it but have to take a med for RLS and believe it’s just as bad.

Last night I had a present left on me when I got up to go to the bathroom.
How can I prove it?

It’s not violent, it’s unwelcome. I think he’s lying to me. I believe it’s real and happens more often. I have no where to go for help. Don’t know where to begin since the doctor doesn’t believe me. I’m not even sure I am mentally I’ll anymore. Maybe it’s just a gaslight?

I have to take these meds. Any idea on how to prove it. Yes I tried camera. It to dark and just looks like cuddling?

13 thoughts on “How do I prove it?

  1. Your sleeping pill is that strong that you do t wake up? Makes no sense. When anyone has sex, they smell it the next day. So you smell it? Put on underwater that is hard to get off and see. Honestly, this is weird.

  2. That’s rape with a condom! Leave him immediately!!! You won’t be able to prove it as it’s your word against his. Less than 1% of rape cases go to court, and he probably knows that! I’ve been through this myself and the police couldn’t help! At all!!!

    Night vision camera? Heat sensing camera?

  3. OK, so you already found a “present” left on you? If you’re with a narc you can wake up being RAPED and he’s still going to deny that he’s raping you. Pathologically lying is his calling card friend. Why “prove” something like this? This is your body, your life. Sleep with underwear on, or sleep in another room. And for God’s sake, make a plan to move on with your life without this man in it. The stronger question for YOU to answer would be “how is our sex life when I’m awake”? Sex with you when you’re asleep is just him taking care of his physical needs, with absolutely no interest in yours. And FYI, I awakened a couple of times during the almost 18 years I was with the exN to him attempting to have sex with me. It was weird. Wake ME up, we can have some fun. Rub up against me, or try to enter me sleeping? ALL ABOUT HIM

  4. I agree with Al. It all does sound very strange. I am aware that there are some sleeping medications that make the individual unaware, but if you can wake to go to the bathroom, it seems you would wake if you were being violated. I’d be sleeping with my blue jeans on, or get a camera that can record in the dark. Or spend a night or two in a hotel alone, and see if you wake up feeling the same way. (Do not tell him where you are or you may assume he found you and broke into the room while you were asleep.)

  5. Perhaps try a rape kit at the doctor when you suspect it may have happened? And definitely go to a different doctor I think.

  6. I’m thinking that you already know if your man is good for you or bad for you, now having said that I think that I would use a highly sensitive mic and or recording device, to try to hear that heavy breathing and if that doesn’t work you could try a thermal imaging camera to see under and through clothing, if that doesn’t work try wearing a long sleeved Lycra bodysuit to bed cause a guy is not getting any with that on without either taking it off you; nearly impossible or cutting a strategically located access hole in them which you would definitely notice in the AM.
    Good luck.

  7. This happened to me many times during my marriage to a narcissistic and selfish manipulative bully and I thought this was normal at the time. He didn’t care if I was on my period or three weeks after giving birth and caused me to bleed and be hospitalised just to satisfy his own needs. I was so naive I didn’t realise it was wrong but know now. Leave him and get an injunction to keep him away. Be strong and never look back. Tack back your future like I did. You can be happy again with a normal man. Good luck x

  8. Get a night vision game camera! Very easy to use and they are on sale everywhere this time of year! Trust your gut and protect yourself! And too if they make you feel it’s necessary to look you don’t trust them and if you don’t trust them you have no relationship worthy of making you second guess yourself!

  9. My ex fiance used to do the same to me when I fell asleep…by the time I was coming to like waking up he was already done….it was very strange….after I left him and told people they said it was rape!

  10. 1. Get a new doctor.
    2. If someone is leaving presents on you while you sleep without your consent, and knowing you’re anxious and suspicious about being sexually abused while asleep that is not OK.
    3. It’s not ‘just’ gaslighting. It’s one small part of his arsenal that will be designed to make you second guess and doubt your judgement. It’s about control and you need to take it back by leaving the perpetrator far, far behind you.
    4. He’s got you to the stage where you take over your own abuse because you’ve been debased and devalued in very gradually, but very consistently increasing increments that it’s become your new normal. DANGER!

  11. You do not have to have “proof” to know something and you do not need other people to believe you. It IS gaslighting and it IS rape. You’ve already been there too long if you’re questioning your sanity. That’s what abusers do! You have done nothing to deserve this, you haven’t any control but to leave. It’s hard and it’s horrible because we think about the person we know when he’s good. That’s a bullshit act. Trust that I am being honest with you. It does not get better, it gets worse and worse and worse. The horror of it all it haunts you. It’s a feeling of great loss and sorrow. Keeping the horror in the forefront of the mind will be the thing that will keep you from going back. It’s such a setup for the victim, us. He will keep taking until you stop him. N’s are horrible people. This is hard to wrap around: you are nothing more to him than the bug he stepped on before he walked into the house. I’m not kidding nor exaggerating. Please cut your losses!! RUN away now and don’t look back. RUN

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