How do I help my son?

How do I help my son?

My problem is with my son and his wife, they have only been married for a year and a half, they have a 15 month old little girl, who is our first grandchild and the light of our lives until my daughter in law started showing her true colours.   In the short time they have been married she has had 2 affairs, that my son knows about, so who knows…she has all the traits of a narcissist, the habitual lying, cheating, and now we are forbidden from seeing our granddaughter, I have done a lot of research trying to figure out how to help my son get out, she was the love of his life, and the way he is choosing to deal with it is alcohol…he drinks every day now and is in a very deep depression.   I’m scared to death she is going to totally destroy him as he is well on his way!   I’m wondering if there is any other parents in this situation, and feel as helpless as we do!   He has basically turned his back on his family and its just mind boggling, as we did not raise him this way….I do not understand and don’t know how to help him, he is a grown man, but he’s my son and my heart is breaking!   Any advise would be very much appreciated as I don’t know where to turn!
Thank you in advance!

2 thoughts on “How do I help my son?

  1. My question is, how is she a narcissist? Whats making you label her that? Because she has cheated? What is the reason why you can’t see your granddaughter anymore? Because you found her out? Being a cheater doesn’t make you a narcissist, there are a lot more characteristics than that. From reading what you’ve said, best advice is, leave them alone. You’re right, you son is a grown man. You’ll always love him, but, he has to make his own decisions. Be there for him when he needs you, and try and let go of any control you feel you need to have towards his situation. He has to deal with this on his own. Eventually he will see what she truly is, though I think he does already. Maybe suggest some therapy for him so he is not using alcohol to mask the problems? Best of luck.

    1. I didnt go into a lot of detail but since you ask, there is so much more to my story….she is a habitual lier, i lost my mom in October and she lived with me, her and my son were extremely close, when she was diagnosed with cancer we brought her home to take care of her at home my son wanted to spend as much time as possible with his grandma ,and his wife didn’t agree she went as far as telling him youve had her for 27 years, you have a new family now…the affairs I spoke of happened during this time and she told him it was his fault because he wasnt there for HER, my mom loved my granddaughter, the only thing that brightened her day, so the wife gets upset at us, and my mom was not allowed to see her the last month of her life…her thing with me is and I quote “do not repect her as a mother” which is total BS because i have walked on egg shells with this girl because I knew what would happen if I crossed her, anyone that can use theyre child this way has serious issues, but she will have to answer to it someday when questioned by my granddaughter as we are an extremely close family with so much love to give, and she rejects it…i could go on and on but the one thing I cannot forgive is how my mom was treated, and the day we put her in the ground, she went home from service and took my granddaughter to her boyfriends house that evening, she is pure evil…so now does that fit the narcissist behavior, i think so….thank you for your response!

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