19 thoughts on “Discussion Board

  1. I’ve had this said to me.
    My reply was, ‘you may have changed but it is way too late, you have lied and deceived me for years’. I can’t complain about being in hell when i am still dancing with the devil.

  2. Changed? Prove it? Feel what I felt all them many years and actually learn how bad it really hert knowing that people like you exist in this world. Comprehend the fact that what you did can never be forgottend. Did reallity sink in all of the sudden or did you finally realize wonderland is longer a fairytale.

  3. Actions speak louder than words. If I see any action that contradicts your statement, your statement becomes invalid and I’m not going to deal with you.

  4. This is the question I am dealing with now. She sounds more like a “normal” person, she “tries” to appear to be supportive, she says a lot of the right things at times. BUT, cracks always appear. She tries to be nice and says I can come over anytime BUT she needs help doing this because she screwed up her arm/hand/knee or whatever. She says she misses me BUT when I tell her I only miss the early days (20 years) ago she says that is what she meant. She always has a sob story about sometbing and can I give her a little more money this month. She says she went to a music store and she wanted to tell me as it reminded her of me BUT she hates ahopping and she thinks people that play music ate immature as they try to relive glory days.

    Don’t believe them. Their is always cracks that show their true colours. They never change, most cant and don’t want to. Never buy into it.

  5. I’d say well, let’s see. You had a black and white diagnosis of narcissism and non-integrated personalities. You were instructed to do an incredible amount of brain neuro-feedback work with the neurologist with those wires attached to your head where you moved things on the screen with concentration. You quit after a few visits because it got hard. You wasted two years of MY life showing up to your therapist maybe, twice a month? When you should have been going twice a week in conjunction with the brain work. I’ll be chatting with them first. Your “ability” to change is based on your level of commitment to your SELF first and foremost. So let’s see if you’ve even been able to condense yourself down to ONE SELF before I even allow you a cup of coffee’s worth of my time. Fool me once, your problem. Fool me twice, MY PROBLEM.

  6. We had been together for 30 years, after so much forgiveness and given so many chances, I left. For a few weeks, he diligently tried to find me…. I totally cut off all correspondence. He committed suicide.

  7. Don’t believe anything they say. They want to get back with you to hurt you. I recently found out that my narcissistic ex only came back to me to hurt me, cheat on me, for kicking him out. He felt nothing for me. No love, nothing. That’s not ok. Mind games they play. Just stay away, it’s best to have no contact. None. Please. You are good enough, you are worth it.

    1. My ex husband just did this to me. We were together 25 years, married for 20. I left after my family finally saw the effects of his behavior and its impact on our children and their treatment of me. He started dating a woman less than a month after we separated. Brought her around the kids. Used my daughter in order for the two of them to date as she has full custody of child the same age. He recently broke up with this woman and came back to me in an attempt to reconcile. I thought it was sincere, but turns out he wanted to reconcile for financial reasons and because he needs insurance. He also said he doesn’t want to raise someone else’s child. He went right back to his girlfriend…and blaming me for our reconciliation not working out and causing drama when I expressed how hurt I was over the situation. I am struggling to recover my self esteem and sense of self worth. How could I fall for the lies and insincerity when I know in my heart what a truly evil person he is?

  8. I have said- if you want to have a relationship with me, we can begin that process through a formal counseling session. Because they do not want to put in real effort at relating to others (just manipulating situations and impacting your emotions), they will not do the work. Plus, a good counselor will not be fooled by their lies and deceit. It won’t get that far. They want the easy and quick path. They want to hook you and slide back in. Boundaries and consistency is what it takes. No contact. Be boring. Don’t put yourself out there. They do not deserve your effort. Put effort in other people.

  9. Rhetorical question, because they don’t see who/what they are. It will never happen. If you think it might. you have false hopes that will do you further harm & cause you even more pain.

  10. I’d say, too late. I have asked you for years, and you never made any effort. You can only kick a loyal dog for so long. Sooner or later it will bite you or run away..

  11. There are too many to list and I would have to see this change from afar before I would ever believe it.
    I would have to see this change for a long time too before I would ever believe him and I still would not trust him and take him back.
    Words are cheap.
    Actions speak a lot louder than words do.
    the narc I know knows how to put on his good behavior and for how long and then comes the other behavior.
    I am sorry, it would be hard even after a long time watching good behavior for me to believe that he had really changed.

  12. I’d say, (as I have before)…”yes, and I’ve changed, too!” I’m the poster child victim of narcissistic and emotional abuse! I finally realized that THEY DON’T CHANGE! No matter what they tell you, they don’t change! Don’t even entertain the thought that they may possibly have changed. It’s not possible!

  13. Don’t be too hard on yourselves. Accept that you will always be an empath. Accept that your heart loves and understands other, wishes the best for others. In time you will find a partner who appreciates you and love you.

  14. I have heard this is many times in the last 18 years! Never has it held true and as I struggle to break free again I’m hearing this but this time I notice it’s the same lines over and over!! I know even with change I was finally pushed to far!

  15. I said I was through and to communicate with me through my lawyer. I went no contact. It’s the only way to handle these fake people. They never change.

  16. I would say, I don’t care if you’ve changed, I don’t care if you’re lonely, I don’t care if you’re broke, I don’t care a single iota about you, I am indifferent to anything you say to me. You turned my love for you into fear and trembling, you made my children’s life a misery, you nearly killed me on more than one occasion. So even if you HAVE changed (I know the only thing you will have changed is your tactics) I don’t care, I don’t want you, I wish you a future full of misery and loneliness. That’s what I would say.

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