Am I wrong to want revenge?

Am I wrong to want revenge?

Am I wrong to want revenge? I have never felt pain like it and I have been through some tough shit. I’ve fought in several campaigns. I’m not a weak man by a long shot but this was different. She played with my mind and my heart. How does anyone get over that when someone who you would have given your life for, abuses your trust? I got endless silent treatments. She put me down. She told lie after lie. Eventually she ghosted me, ignored my calls and texts, and wouldn’t make eye contact if I tried to speak to her. Why? How to they get off in treating someone like this? I treated her well and would have done anything for her. We were together for ten years, breaking up when she was annoyed, silent treatment for weeks and then back together again. I thought she would eventually see that she was happy with me. She seemed to be a lot of the time. She’s got no real friends. Nobody meets her high standards. I don’t think her kids even care about her. Am I bad wanting her to live a life of regret? Wanting her to pay for what she did to me and no doubt the ones before me? She deserves all the bad luck that life can throw at her.

6 thoughts on “Am I wrong to want revenge?

  1. You’re not bad for wanting that at all. I’d leave it though, you get on with your life and let karma get on with hers. And if she EVER tries to creep back into yours, don’t even respond to her, just ignore her you’ll feel better for it. You’ll BE better for it.

  2. No. You are not wrong. You have to ask yourself if its worth the energy though. Will it do more harm to you? Honestly the sad truth is that we do not matter one bit to the narcissist. Unless you can cause her to have legal consequences, there isnt much you can do to affect them. The second best thing is to completely ignore. Do not even read their texts or listen to their voicemail. Block them from social media. Put their number into the auto reject or spam file on your phone. When your mind wanders to them, distract yourself with something productive. Focus on whatever you are doing at the time. And no lamenting over what you did wrong. The only thing you did wrong was get tricked by a con. Do some research so it doesnt happen again. Also, research passive aggressive personality disorder. People who have been victimized by a malignant narcissist are at risk of having their next relationship be with a PA, or sneaky narc. When you feel overwrought with emotion, remember this is a trauma bond. Read up on that too. It will help. You CAN recover from this if you allow yourself to.

  3. Is only fair to let them feel the pain they inflicted on to us, my anger my rage my shame has subsided, my pain is for my kids .My pregnant daughter been disowned, my son dumped at my mother’s. And i’ve been left to pick up the pieces of been discarded after 23 years. Some people don’t deserve to be in this world.

  4. I went through this stage, revenge is impossible with narcs and a waste of your energy. They will always get back at you somehow, then it never ends. Be the bigger person and have it all stop with you.
    The best thing to do is to strive to be the best you you can be.
    They hate seeing you happy, healthy, getting on with your life, so yeah, maybe this could be classed as revenge anyhow.
    Get into your fitness, maybe, that’s a great start because of all the support it gives your mental health, that’s what I’ve found. Pluss, gains, haha…Crossfit is fantastic, honestly, and the cf community is so positive, that will help too.
    Ok, all the best, the revenge phase will fade, when you concentrate on you being in your happy place.

  5. I know you are hurting but the best thing is to give some time to get feelings back to normal – then be happy. Live your life without her & once sees that will realize what a good thing you had has been lost. If she tries to get back no contact. Trust me feelings change & some can’t bear to see you happy.

  6. Most people have covered all I would say … your a human being who gas been abused only natural to want someone to feel the pain they have caused I am a believer in karma and one day they will be hurt by someone and we may not be around to see this. We can only focus o our life and we have to go no contact too e forward

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