She has the law on her side

She has the law on her side

I am currently under the rage and assault of my narcissistic wife.  I am divorcing her because of infidelity.  She has taken out a protective order against me, removing me from my home and the daily lives of my children.  I am working with my attorney but do not hold much hope for good outcomes right now.

How do I best proceed?  What should or shouldn’t I do?  She has the law on her side at the moment.  I just want to get out this with my children still in my life.  Any words of advise/wisdom?

5 thoughts on “She has the law on her side

  1. Document. Document. Document. I can’t stress enough… document. I’ve been there done that. A year into it, she has primary custody, but I at least got visitation this last month. Document. Every contradiction you hear/see. Every single time she takes another leap to prevent you from your children. Reach out to a domestic violence support line and don’t stop until someone you comes across believes you are not the perpetrator. My experience was that the first 3 females I talked to either accused me of being a manipulator, or told me at least she wasn’t beating me. Seriously. But then I found someone that helped me. And helped me a lot. She became an advocate and even sat in court with me. If I hadn’t had that help, I wouldn’t have the current visitation that I do. As this has unfolded I’m learning that there’s absolutely no predicting her, and she’s always about 30 steps ahead of me, and the manipulation is much larger and much more well planned than I could have ever imagined. Stay strong, document, remember that she is telling no truth, ever, to you or anyone. Arm yourself with facts. Get yourself as well as you can in the process too. Start learning skills to stand up. To spot the truth, to stand for it. Someone told me I have two things on my side, my higher power (whatever yours may be) and the truth. And in the end, that’s what truly matters. Forgive yourself. You have done nothing wrong, but don’t play into her hand, she is already waiting with the next trap. Don’t talk to her unless it’s is absolutely necessary. No contact. Have witnesses. Bless you on your journey. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

    1. I can empathise with you,it is the most painful,exhausting,soul destroying experience. It is 5 yr on an 3 court cases hes ended up with 50/50 which was his intention from the begining to enable him control in trying to destroy any happiness I have. In my experience because they are expert at lieing manipulating he has manipulated courts csa and every situation possible. The law needs to recognise emotional its an on battle Xx

  2. Been in this exact situation. Keep Calm do not react but definitely respond. Immediately consult with attorneys and find one that you feel will work well with you. We went to court to address the TPO and the Judge dismissed it and put a Mutual no contact order in place. We were to work out Joint legal and 60/40 timesharing split on our own. We went through our family clinic at the court house and they did a full on custody evaluation, during this time of a year and half I was only allowed 2 days a week as I worked alot and the courts would not allow me to have every weekend. After a year and half of the custody eval the family clinic recommended our son like with me primarily, we have a Guardian ad litem and dad have 5 days every other week. Do not lose hope. The courts also immediately ordered supervised exchanges or exchange after school and only communication in regards to our child through email or text if urgent. Do not engage in conversations or email/text wars when baited. An Attorney is vital at this point in the journey. The children will have plenty to repeat to you from what’s being told to them, address what they need addressed in an age appropriate manner and tell them you’ll discuss the grown up stuff when they are grown ups, do not ever bash the other parent or respond to what baits been put into their heads. Join One Mom’s Battle on FB it will give you a support system of other parents that have experienced this scenario and is a great resource through this.

  3. I somewhat understand how you feel. I am separated from my narc wife who cost me my job, and 90% or more of the people that surround me. I did end up with shared custody however the battle rages. I can share more with you and talk about how I have went about things to possibly help you. However first I need to know nothing I say gets past you and I need to know I can trust you and I’m not getting used. Not sure how we can establish that however I’m open to suggestions. I feel for you since I lmyself live in a place I wish on no one. I hope you understand, however one has to know what your dealing with isn’t human and has to be treated as such. I’ve said enough I hope we can figure out how to help u

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