Discussion Board

Discussion Board

👄I was chatting with someone the other day and they asked me if my ex partner was on his deathbed and wanted to see me, would I go? Well now, let me see…Meeting with him again would be just about as appealing as an encounter with a rattlesnake.
Do I think he would have reflected on his life and would try to make his peace? No.
Do I think he will have seen the error of his ways? No.
Would there be any sort of apology? No.
Would he show any remorse? No
Would he have changed and mended his ways? No.
I think I would just let him pop off to wherever he’s going without a final visit. I have had my final chat with him and that was a long time ago.

What would you do? Would you go and see them that one last time?

9 thoughts on “Discussion Board

  1. LOVE THIS! For ALL of those who have been abused by a narcissist, the pull of romantic delusion must be hit straight on with clarity. They are PERSONALITY DISORDERED. They do not have the ability to make any true, self-reflective changes. I personally experienced this while still married to the exN. We had an emergency landing from a flight while on vacation as he passed out and had symptoms of heart attack. The next morning he told me “there’s nothing wrong between us, it’s all outside of us”. WOW, that was a biggie from him, OR SO I THOUGHT. Within ten minutes his narc daughter returned his call (from the night before, she was so unconcerned that her father had been hospitalized) and the first words from her mouth were “what’s wrong with you THIS TIME that I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING”. Literal words – I could hear her loud and clear. The exN? Straight into trying to draw her in with descriptions of what happened, and she was having none of it. After their brief call, he got off the phone and told me “wow, she’s going to look into her medical books and see if she can figure out what happened”. Not only had that conversation NOT HAPPENED – I could hear everything she said – his EGO went to that length to protect him from the pain of once again being rejected by his princess daughter (she’s the golden child). He immediately snapped right back into the “old” mode of personality. Where did he put all that rage at being so coldly rejected? Two nights later, while lying in bed, he decided to give me the silent treatment. I was reading, and playfully traced his “butt crack” with my toe, telling him “if you’re not talking to me you can’t sleep with me”. He flipped over and FUCKING STRANGLED ME. Were he on his death bed I and ask to see me I would go in the opposite direction. I KNOW what he’s about. I have his black and white neuropsych eval diagnosis. I would not become “narcissistic feed” for him EVER AGAIN.

  2. Really in two minds on this one.
    My initial reaction was ‘yes- to make sure he actually goes.
    Then the most rational response is- NO way! As it’s one last bid for control by him.
    He did have a near death experience after I left him. I took our 3 children to see him in Intensive Care- I went as their support – not for him.

  3. No and neither would his kid’s. He turn his back on them when he could no longer control them. He has played the victim even though he was the abusiver, cheater, lier in our relationship. We have all struggled with living with narcissistic and each of us have to deal with the anxiety because of the relationship
    So my thought and my adult children he is already dead to us. He made the choice so he can live with conscious. Karma

  4. No.
    Neither would his kid’s. His is dead to them. He was emotional, mental and verbal abusive to me and his kid’s. Turn his back on them when they wouldn’t let him control them Anymore after his lieing and cheating and not taking any responsibility and playing the victim. Karma rolling around

  5. Yes I would go.
    And I would hold his hand as he took his last breath.
    Why? Because he is my children father. Because I would allow him the opportunity to choose his final words to me, whatever they may be (toxic or not).
    Because at this point his toxicity would hold no venom…….❤️

  6. in the first place, he is probably paying someone – and playing someone – to tell you he is on his death bed – !

    in the second – no – just no. why become a target for his last shot of venom – ?

    i went to my mother’s death bed – she was a covert abusive narc. She got some last minute mind twisting insults leveled at me as did her golden child – why risk re-opening all these wounds – god – don’t go. take care of yourself – they can’t accept your kindness anyway – they hate having their hand held – – leave them alone!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.