Will counselling make him better?

Will counselling make him better?

Hi my ex is all what you put on here he treats me so bad verbally called me some vile things constantly mentally demanding so controlling jealous I had prove myself all the time a little physical popped nose fractured cheek bone bruises from him gripping me he did used say sorry but never changed would cry beg me back….we’ve splotches now but he’s going counselling every 2 weeks will this help him? He’s going to how to deal with things better as he gets angry quick thinks of hurting people talks to himself.. he’s now with a women he says she’s a pushover and he hates her kids…I fear for them but don’t want get involved as obviously I’ll look like some scorned ex which isn’t true.. I’m wondering will counselling make him a better person?

2 thoughts on “Will counselling make him better?

  1. Unfortunately narcissistic personality disorder, and coercively controlling violent tendencies are highly resistant to change. It’s highly unlikely that your ex will reform himself with therapy, especially if its court ordered, or a condition of contact. An NPD will go through the motions in order to get what they want. They generally have no intention of changing their behaviour long term. Why would they if it gets them what they want?

    He’s perpetrated some very serious violence against you by the sounds of things, and for one reason or another you’re still in contact with him. I would recommend as strongly as I am able that you cease contact with him completely, and move out of any location, and job that he knows about as soon as you’re safely able to do so. Contact your local police domestic violence unit to find out what your options are.

  2. No.
    Even if he did seek therapy its unlikely hed stay in therapy and change for the better. Statistically the odds are very very low for any significant or lasting changes for the better. Lundy Bancroft’ books evidence this based on 30 plus years seeking to rehabilitate violant and controlling men. Yes o say men bevause frankly men are in the overwhelming majority of abusers. Women do abuse too of course emotionally and psychologically and cause terrible suffering too.
    Marsha Linehans therapy DBT has had some succes with BPD ( cluster B types with Narcisstic or Anti Social traits) but its a relativeky new method and too early to say if it has significant effect.
    My own experience and opinion based on this and the healing im still doing ? Run away, dont walk away, run and do not look back. Cease contact in all ways, seek therapy yourself fir your own issues and why you are enmeshed in this drama and pain. Face forward and focus on you not him. Focus on you…seek your answers and grow beyond this. He is not your problem to solve….leave that to the universe.

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