My daughter rules my house
I have been free in a sense from my narcissistic husband for just over a year but can’t put the ‘no contact’ in place as I have children and he’s taken me to court. He’s still doing his best to manipulate and control every situation but the problem I have is the 14 year old, she has exactly the same narcissistic traits and I am finding she is bringing me down like he did and doing the exact same like he did. She will say she never said stuff when I know she did (which he did to make me doubt myself) when she goes off on one I can’t reason with her as she is right and I am to blame. She always throws in that she will just go and live with her dad, which isn’t feasible but I’m at a loss she rules my house and me really. People say I’m too soft but they don’t understand what a narcissist is and that she is becoming one 😞
4 thoughts on “My daughter rules my house”
Kick them out of your house. You need to do that because one day they might going to kill you. They will team up to do a crime to kill you so that they will own your house forever. Or you better sell your house and have your own life.
Play back HARD, PACK HER BAG and play awell. There are no winners, bluff is the only way to getcontrol. If she plays and go toher fathers it will be short term, in the mean time don’t let the 14 yr old do what you put up with from her father. IF you allow that behaviour NOW can you imagine what she will be like when she is 18,,, your better than that,,, STOP THE pattern now.
This is an opportunity handed to you on a plate!
Boundaries…boundaries…boundaries! She is still a child and under your roof where you are in charge.
The learned behaviour, infantile tantrums, lying, manipulating, gaslighting can all be nipped in the bud by how you choose to react. She saw her father getting away with it and thinks it works, so she’s going to learn to respect you by your changed reactions.
It will take some strength on your part, communicate clearly to her what you will and won’t accept and stick to it. Do not try to reason with her! Reward good behaviour and give her consequences for bad. Follow through on ALL that you say you will do. Make HER pack a bag ready for herself, waiting in her room should she need it, and expect some drama! Be prepared for her to push against you for a while.
The days of you accepting abuse from ANYONE are over.
You have the power – by your choices – to change your future and that of your family.
My oldest son. 21, also displays Narc traits after frowning up in a home with me and my Narc Mother. He is not a Narc, but he displays some of the traits when he is in a position that makes him uncomfortable. He also falls prey to Narcs as easily as possible. I have started talking to him, and teaching him about Narcs.
14 year olds are very self centered naturally… Leaning on these learned behaviors only strengthens her cause and I’m sure she can see that she’s got the upper hand with you. I suggest getting some Narc books aimed at the children of Narcs and read a few, then use what you learn to try and help her. Hopefully, she can be reached by you.
I went through the same with my ex-husband… I had to draw a line. And NEVER cross it. If he had something to say to me, he had to tell the lawyers and they would contact me, and vice versa. I refused to talk, text ore receive a note from him.
Good luck in your journey. It really does get better!!!
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