Please help me! I divorced a very very true narcissist! I was married for 14 years with him for 22 hours. I knew the day I married him I shouldn’t. But I was abused all my life and felt like no one would ever love me and he played that to the fullest. Now 22years later I got enough nerve up to leave him. How I don’t know. I have two boys of course 6 years apart because he didn’t want children so he could keep me to himself but he knew I wanted children so he gave in to one then I almost left and again he gave me another child to apiece me. He promised to take care of me knowing I was broken from childhood which was his way in I realize that now. I was so afraid to divorce him because I knew what he was capable of. And I was right! Problem is I have self destructed myself for 3 years now because it’s worse being divorced to a narcissist than being married to one! I’ve never been so depressed and felt so low about myself ever even through my childhood! He has used those deep secrets against me to the core. He harassed me belittled me my children my friends my family and put me so under and I fed him the candy! I got a dui 6 months after we got divorced with my children in the car and got into an accident. I could have killed my children which I have to live with ever day forever! But we all walked away without injuries. I know it was my doing but he just kept pushing and digging and hurting and manipulating me! I never ever drank a beer and drove ever never been in trouble . I was so lost if that makes sense. He controlled my whole like after a childhood of abuse and promised to take care of me even if I was broken till I was healed. He said I promise I will let you go ! I knew he was lying ! He did t think I would actually leave. Because he thinks I’m weak which I thought I was strong enough but obviously was wrong especially against him. He continues to say and do very mean things. He has complete control of me due to the dui! I never drank before I met him he would beg for me to drink have me take muscle relaxers so I would pass out and he could do what he wanted to me. I can’t seem to stop self medicating. I try I want to but ever time I start to think and feel I hurt so bad from the inside out! I don’t want to feel this pain like when I was a little girl rocking back and forth in a corner wanting the pain and memories to go away. This past thanksgiving my ex begged me to come over said he had the flue and my boys really wanted me there. Gloves off no expectations. I do t know why but I went he not only hurt me physically but mentally along with my boys. Everything was a lie he set me up. He video taped me he put scraps on my nipples belittled me in front of the boys. All because we finally had court in a couple days after a year and a half of continuous in 2 days. He set me up my lawyer emailed me and said she’s dropping me and I know it’s because he sent the videos of us arguing. I told her I wouldn’t communicate with him and I did! He had no fever no flu he lied ! He is so sick he actually begged for my forgiveness probably so I did t call the police which by the way I’m still on probation for the dui and he knew that and even threatened me with it! I had no choice but to give in! Again he hurt me physically mentally and now my boys! I lay in bed for 3 days curled in a ball. Please if anything get from this they are vipers they will strike at anytime and any way possible. 🌹thanks for listening 🌹