I’ve cut narcissist mother out of my life

I’ve cut narcissist mother out of my life

I have cut my narcissist mother from my life about 7 weeks ago, after years of her abuse I have finally had enough. The final straw was her trying to convince my daughter I am a bad parent & I favour one child over the other, which is exactly what she does, not what I do.

In the process of cutting her out, she has run her mouth telling everyone her side of the story & now I’ve lost all my family.

How do I deal with the guilt of never being good enough? And the loss of both my parents because I’ve cut my mother out?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

3 thoughts on “I’ve cut narcissist mother out of my life

  1. I feel your pain! I too made the choice of no contact with my monster mother! I’m 55 with 2 daughters , 22 and 25 . I too have very little contact with my cousins and relatives.. They too believe I’m a bitch without a heart . Learning about being a daughter of a narcissist mother at age 53 was empowering . Im struggling with more depression anxiety and avoidance of others because they just don’t understand. I hope you find strength in your decision of no contact… It’s a daily internal struggle but I do believe it’s for my own sanity! Read about DONM …. I too feel like I’m losing my mind and becoming a needy worthless soul… It’s a tough journey of lessions . But hopefully we both will be at peace with our decision! I have two graduations next week one from law school and one lay later another one from college in Arizona and my girls will be with their grandmother and I will be on zanex and hiding but will be there sitting far away from them… I’m having unusually high anxiety and panic attacks more frequently and my husband is fed up with me but I’m hoping after these 2 graduations next week I can regroup knowing I don’t have to see my mother for a very very long time! If ever! Sorry my friend my world is all fucked up now as I’m paralyzed with fear . I’m relying on time to help me and you deal better with our decision of no contact ,

  2. Hi. I am probably a few years ahead of you on this path. Trust me, it is a path and one that you will travel on for a long time. I know how hard it is and I know the pain that goes with it. I also know the pain that your mother caused you and how this has not been a decision that you have made lightly. You have two questions that are easy to answer. Firstly, there is no guilt because you are good enough. Always. No questions asked. Do not ever, ever, ever question this. You asking for your mother to see you as good enough is like asking a blind man to appreciate the colours of the rainbow. It’s just never going to happen. Accept it. This is the key. Acceptance. Secondly, the issue of losing your father. I struggled myself with this for a long time. And then I worked it out. And this is where awareness comes in. Read everything that you can. Look on FB for Narcisstic Parent Answers. Your dad is an enabler. He has allowed this to happen. His behaviour and acceptance has led you all to where you are today. Would you allow this to happen to your child? Whether or not you like to think about it, he let it happen to you. This is a hard message to hear. Even harder when you work it out and observe it for yourself. Your ride of no contact will not be easy. Believe me when I say that the alternative is worse. Protect yourself and protect your children. There are lots of us out there who you can talk to so never ever feel that you are alone. Life is always, always better without a narc in your life. Trust me, I know. Xx

  3. I played the role of scapegoat in a large family system with two narcissist parents. Completely cut my family off 6 yrs ago and initially felt the loniless and abandonment, then my life improved dramatically. 2 yrs ago tried the waters and let my mum and a few sisters back in…to my own detriment. Old feelings of unworthiness and low esteem stormed back to me. I know have little contact with one sister who dangles the children’s relationship in front of me and it hooks me. Very painful if I let it. I have created a community around me to replace my family and life is happy and successful again. They can never be what I once longed for or deserve. My advice place your love and time where it is deserved. Stay strong and trust your instinct. Pain is a powerful motivator.

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