I’m too forgiving

I’m too forgiving

I’m a very forgiving person and I keep forgiving and going back only for the same behaviour to happen again. He says he’s sorry and I believe him. He’s nice for a while but it doesn’t last. I don’t want to live my life like this. He rages and sulks and I don’t know why half the time. When he’s being nice you couldn’t meet a nicer person but when he’s in one of his moods he’s so nasty. It’s like he thinks of the nastiest things to say to me to hurt me. I don’t want to lose him because I do love him but I don’t know how long I can go on like this. Is there any hope that he’ll see how nasty he is say he’s sorry and really really mean it?

6 thoughts on “I’m too forgiving

  1. It ks not because u ouvare too forgiving. It isnbecause you do not love yourself ans forgive yourself that you are in this situation. How exacrly can you love someone when you cannot loce yourself? Loving yourselfbmrans never allowing anyone to treat you like this. It takes guts to look at yourself in the mirror and love yourself first. That nasty selfish perskn should never ever come first.

  2. Simple answer….NO don’t believe him because he is NOT sorry,ever! He won’t change you will just spend more years of your life on a waste of space.
    I got a snarky ‘sorry’ from my ex the first (& last) time he hit me (properly).He just thought I would forgive him like the others had & he shouldn’t have to apologise whether he meant it or not.Naturally he was very remorseful on the way to the police station & made sure that they were to tell me that.

  3. No, he will not see how nasty he is and NO, he will not be sorry. His brain is injured, he is incapable of feeling the emotions you feel – he simply mimics emotions. Your challenge is to accept the obvious and move on in life. However, you’re not ready to do so until you do work on your own self esteem and develop healthy boundaries. I’ve walked your path. It took me about three years to get out. Now I’m almost free and have to tell you, it was hell to start, but I’m so, so looking forward in life now. I don’t walk on eggshells every day, I don’t endure the most abusive comments about myself, my personality, or my body. My “inner child” now feels protected by ME, and I will never, ever allow this abusive bastard to get to me again. He tries – he posts things on FB to antagonize, hurt, etc. and gets absolutely NO RESPONSE from me. He tries through our mutual children: again, NO RESPONSE. Why would I choose to engage with mental illness? Why would I choose to hurt myself again? Ask yourself what you need to move forward and then start making silent plans. Find a 12 step program – codependents anonymous is perfect, believe me – and start your journey. This man does not LOVE you. Ask yourself this very important question: WHAT DO I LOVE ABOUT A MAN WHO ABUSES ME LIKE THIS??
    Best wishes.

  4. I AM JUST LIKE YOU ! FORGIVE FORGIVE FORGIVE… AND ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS NO YOU WILL END UP HATING YOURSELF AND BELIVING U ARE THOSE HORRIBLE THINGS A S ALSO ACTIG THEN OUT IT’S AM A SELF FULLFILLING PROPHESY. ID GET OUT BECAUSE THEY CAN’T N WON’T CHANGE… IT’S HORRIBLE FEELING WHEN U LEAVE BUT THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES…. THE VIDEO LINKS IN THIS FORUM SAVED MY LIFE AND DIGNITY

  5. How do you leave, the no contactis hard, especially when you have an adult child in the same town. Can you at least explain to him wihy you need to divorce? will he understand? 30 years for me, I am physically ill from it

  6. I left but over 25 years in and out of the courts. Our daughter only is nice to me when she needs something. All to find out behind my back she states she is cinderalla and I’m the mean mom. Her son hurts me and I defend myself including calling police. To her I’m at fault for everything. I am mentally and emotionally so confused. She convinced our college classmates it’s my fault for what was wrong at school. Her boyfriend accuses me in foul language of things that wasn’t the case. Don’t care what I think. I’m the one who is the nut case

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