I have taken on some of the traits

I have taken on some of the traits

My ex boyfriend is a narcissist.  I have been building myself up to mentally and emotionally stand against him strong so I can get away from him.  Once I realized what a narcissist was I read the list of characteristics to him and obviously he denies it all and tries to say that I am the one who is narcissistic.  I was expecting that.  What I didn’t expect was to eventually realize that in some ways he might be right.  In my attempt to be strong and fight back I have taken on some of the characteristics or a narc….but only towards him.  Nobody else.  Is this normal when trying to stand up to a narcissist??

3 thoughts on “I have taken on some of the traits

  1. I am dealing with the same thing , and felt the same way so I looked into it they drive you to the point of no return. You can not believe you are saying and doing the the things you are. I never threatened anyone in my life and I threatened to report him to the police child welfare . The abuse was so bad that finally \I pushed back and stooped so low saying something about him being abused as a child {if thats even true} feel guilty until today.I haven’t spoken to him in over two weeks and never plan to again. i hope we can both be strong.

  2. I have definitely started feeling the same way of late. We are finally splitting up and I get a lot of daily grief from him as he wants me out of the house. I was starting to find myself answering back in the same way he has spoken to me – I ended up apologising!! I don’t know if I should have bothered as he still continues with the psychological abuse, but I know it was out of character – at the same time, I think I was just standing up for myself in maybe the only ‘language’ that he could understand. Feel really torn about it.

  3. I think a lot of us are triggered to respond in kind.

    Looking back I cannot believe some of the hateful garbage that came out of my mouth, but I realize it was in response (NO I’m not making excuses for myself) to being so triggered by reprehensible behavior that I discovered had been done to me.

    Focus on being more centered in yourself, getting away, and finding peace.

    It’s well worth the effort, I promise!

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