I feel I’m going crazy

I feel I’m going crazy

I came out of a 6 year relationship with a narc a little over a year ago. We were on the other side of the country, and he played games of control with regard to the paperwork on the property we shared. He said he wanted it, I didn’t, my plan was to move home. I completed the paperwork, then began the waiting game for him to sign it. He knew I couldn’t afford it, and worked myself into the ground to keep up the payments. I had flights, a new job and apartment waiting for me and my child.  I had to cancel them all, as he wouldn’t sign.  We ended up evicted.  He didn’t care, he was having the time of his life, while I was sinking lower.  He used proxy recruitment with my family.  There’s only my Dad still speaking to me.  He played the victim with his family, and they cut me and my child off.  We eventually escaped, nearly a year after we split up.  We’re back home.  But for the last couple of weeks, I’ve found myself thinking of the good times we had.  Reminiscing about how happy we were as a family here.  I have a strong feeling he’s going to show up, despite the fact he’s 5000km away.  Then I get angry, and really hate him.  I’ve not had time to ‘feel’ anything.  I was told numerous times I was bat shit crazy, need help etc.  Now it’s really hitting me.  I keep reliving the nightmare, not sleeping or eating, and feel I’m going to go crazy.  Is this normal?  Will I ever be the happy person I used to be before all his lies surfaced, and I was made the scapegoat?  Any advice at all?  Thankyou

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