I don’t know how to handle this

I don’t know how to handle this

My boyfriend’s ex is a narcissist and she’s currently on a smear campaign trying to drag both he and I through the mud. I really don’t know how to handle this…

It’s been nearly 5 months that we’ve been together, longer than that since he left her, and this is something that’s been going on the whole time. She takes breaks for a few weeks and then goes right back to it. There’s no contact between them, though I did contact her this last time to tell her I think she’s pathetic. Big mistake, I know.  Any words of advice?

12 thoughts on “I don’t know how to handle this

  1. Oh wow this is familiar! Don’t wish to alarm you but I agree with the other Anon. The Narcissist isn’t the ex. Be careful and educate yourself on how to spot the red flags! Protect yourself by placing strong boundaries!

  2. Oh wow this is familiar! Don’t wish to alarm you but I agree with the other Anon. The Narcissist isn’t the ex. Be careful and educate yourself on how to spot the red flags! Protect yourself by placing strong boundaries!

  3. My ex did something similar except my ex was a narsisst my ex continued to have a toxic back and fourth relationship with me while trying to pursue his next prey love bombing me thinking we were going to work things out and go to counselling while he was building a new relationship with a new girl and her four kids…. telling her i was crazy i had proof he was pursuing me and mentally abusing me and my son

  4. I agree with the above.
    I am «the crazy ex» myself. The Narc. That evil bitch that tried to ruin his new relationship. What the new one still does not understand is that he lied to me, and I thought we were going to re-marry, everything was going to be fine again, we slept together, we did things together with the kids, he dis his lovebombing, all of that. I did not know he at the same time got her pregnant, proposed to her and moved in with her… And after more than 10 years of marriage and several years of this back and fourth game of triangulation, he ended it with reporting me to the police, changing phone number and requesting a restraining order against me. He did not get any of it, and the Police just shook their head, but we have not spoken since, and I was left devastated, and alone with my kids that he no longer wants to see…

  5. Yep that’s the thing with a nut bag it takes some careful observation and time to determine who is the most likely to be the actual sociopath between those two, but once you do you can either be like most victims of Sociopaths and run and avoid ie no contact or . .
    You can tell them to leave you alone, and if they Don’t then show them how absolutely insane you can be, just as a deterrent but be careful because they are the real servents of Satan and spend their time figuring out how to get away with all sorts of immoral and criminal activities and /or surround themselves with the kind of criminals that upstanding people everywhere would avoid like the plague!
    In short they are sometimes the kind of evil person that needs to be executed to protect the rest of society.
    Good luck with your new situation because you very well may need it!

  6. What is important is making your current relationship secure safe and support each other… Change telephone numbers and deactivate social media platforms for a healthy time frame ..enough time to step away from her toxic drama and for her to realise her actions have no power.

  7. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to talk to someone about what’s going on and I think this is the best way without him finding out. I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, who is also an alcoholic, for about 5 years and I have been going through hell since. The first 2 years were good, but when we had to move everything changed. I was diagnosed with epilepsy after having 2 in one night and have had several seizures since. He became more mentally abusive and started showing his true colors. Last year I finally had enough and moved in with my parents, but in my stupidity I went back to him. It was good for a couple of months, but he started back up again when he moved in with me and his grandmother. I was taking care of his grandmother, she had Lewy Body Dementia and passed just a few months ago. He moved in with us and things really went sour. She was the woman that raised him wasn’t taking it well that she was getting worse every day. He get mad because she would get phone calls from her other grandchildren before she went to bed. He would bitch about having to spend time with her because it was too hard. In the meantime I was the one that made sure she ate, got her medications, and changed her diapers. I got pregnant shortly before she passed and lost the baby at 6 weeks. I firmly believe it was a mix of his attitude and abuse mixed with taking care of his grandmother that caused the miscarriage. I also had 2 seizures during my stay at he house to which he said werent that bad,Zebra and told me to get up and do what had to be done
    Afterward I did something even more boneheaded and found a place for him and I to live, to which I signed a one year lease, he’s also on it. Anyway, this all leads up to the Sunday after Thanksgiving. We got into an argument turned into him pointing out all of my flaws and things he hates about me. When I tried to talk to him said that everything I had to say was garbage and he didn’t want to hear it. When he told me this I snapped and pushed him against the wall. He fell and twisted his ankle,, which I do feel bad about. When that happened I told him I was tired of his crap and the way he treats him. I also told him that I could find a man that would treat me better than he does. He told me, “good luck considering you’re almost 40!” I walked into the living room and stayed on the couch. He followed me and proceeded to tell me how awful I was. I am a no good piece of crap, a worthless bitch that will amount to nothing and and a stupid, ( I hate this word) cunt. He kept repeating it over and over again. He also said I needed him more than he needed me because I don’t have a job and he supports the household. He kept trying to get me to leave the house, and I should have, but felt like I deserve to stay in own home, which I have furnished. He ended up calling the cops on me and threatened to have me thrown in jail. (I’ve never been to jail or had the police called on me.)He told the dispatch that I abused him and acted like the victim in the situation. Thankfully the cop that showed up didn’t want to arrest m and told us to just work things out. After the officer left my bf proceeded to tell me that he didn’t want to call the cops on me, but just needed a mediator. I have been walking on eggshells and trying to stay out of his way since this all went down. I don’t know what to do anymore. I mistakenly signed a one year lease and have 9 more months to get through. Sometimes I just want to curl up and forget the world, but I can’t. This sounds horrible, but I also wish that I could have a severe seizure and die and get away from it all. As soon as the lease is up I plan on moving out. I’m so depressed that I can’t see the beauty in things like I did before. He won’t let me tell anyone what is going on because he doesn’t want our personal business known. I’m sorry this is so long, but it helps to tell someone.

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