How does one truly go on?

How does one truly go on?

I’ve been ‘free’ from the narcissist in my life for approximately a year now. But I find ‘free’ a word that has so much more meaning than just being away or not seeing someone. I would like to get advice/ opinions of others. It seems as if no time in the world will ever truly set me free from this personal. By this I mean, triggers. Things people do currently or say that just bring back the feelings of hate, anxiety and the feeling of never ever being able to go on as a ‘normal’ person ever again. Am I the only one experiencing this? How does one truly go on without being afraid of people in general?

11 thoughts on “How does one truly go on?

  1. Let me put it this way. DON’T TRUST ANYONE! make anyone earn Your trust! Hold out as long as you can weather they like it or not. Always remember your gut feeling. It’s usually your 1st feeling about the person. Never forget the signs of a narsacis. I personally ask the Lord and the Holy Spirit to help me with each person. You don’t want to end up in that situation again. God bless you.

  2. Its been almost a year for me also and I’ve come to the conclusion by hearing from so many people that you are never free. Met people that after 10 years are still having anxiety like myself. So believe that there will always be something that will trigger some sort of memory or anxiety. I believe it has changed me for the rest of my life.

    1. I agree. The affect of the abuse is profound and long lasting. However, self talk, self eduacation, things that help each particular individual to learn ways to overcome.Everyone is different. I would never have believed a strong person like myselfwould have been sucked in, however kind hearted people are the usual victims….live and love to the fullest, it is still beautiful!

  3. I have the same question! Some little thing will set me right back where I was at the end with him! Then I have to work to get over him all over again!!

  4. This subject is very heavy on my heart right now. I am finding because so many support my NPD husband; I will be moving out of state and starting my life over. I am leaving children, grandchildren and 30 years of triends. I will leave and heal from over 45 years of NPD and sociopath behaviors. More needs to be known about this mental illness and how to diagnose it. It is wider spread than it is being given credit.

  5. Its been a year for me as well though I’ve only managed to cut all contact in january due to having to sell our home.

    I’ve now blocked him via email, phone and social media plus moved to a location where he can’t find me and taken steps to make sure he doesn’t.

    However I still feel unsafe, have anxiety attacks due to the ongoing verbal, emotional, financial & physical abuse. I am also experiencing guilt as I’ve finally pressed assault charges (he fractured my neck in 2 places plus other damage). The worst part for me is I struggle to truly understand why I’ve been treated so badly when all I ever did was try to make him happy & his life easier. Plus yes we were very close still.

    I also had to deal with him cheating & other women hovering around during the relationship. He moved straight into another relationship while he was still living in our home with me. This has caused a huge amount of emotional trauma also.

    Even though we’ve been apart now for a year and due to me taking out an IVO against him in June last year I’ve had only contact via text I still feel like it all happened yesterday.

    As I have to face court for both the assault charges I’ve made against him and to fight for my own money back I have sought some councelling to help me through this process.

    I think if your like me where you truly can’t understand why you have been treated so poorly then you need some guidance from someone who can guide you through.

    I don’t think I will ever understand the why..

  6. It’s been a little over a year for me also. My trust level in people has declined so much. I’m not sure I will ever get back to the me I use to be. I just rejoice daily in the small accomplishments of moving on.

  7. It’s been two years and I don’t feel that I will ever find that special someone. I force myself date but I never put myself in a situation where I’m alone with a man. I drive myself to dates. I reel nothing for these men. IT really upsets me that I let a man affect me this way.

    I have a happy life alone but do not want to miss out on sharing it with someone but can’t see this happening.

  8. I’m still not free and on top of that, I’ve completely stopped dating cuz I can’t seem to find a non-narcissist. I have triggers everywhere I go, so I usually just stay home. Sites like this are the only place I feel free to share this kind of thing cuz most people just don’t get it. You aren’t abnormal to have these triggers, you just don’t have enough positive memories around the same situations.

  9. I’m just out of my relationship…..and maybe I’m nieve but although I still have a tremendous amount of pain inside me…..and struggling with being comfortable in my own skin. I’m just starting to open up and accept the abuses that I went through. Admitting them to myself has been the hardest…..but seeing people’s faces look at me with pity and judgement is the worst. That and people constantly asking “how are you?” Or how you holding up? It’s not that I don’t appriciate the concern. ….it’s just I know there is no way to be 100% honest with that question. However regardless of all that I’m currently feeling I have to believe that is going to get easier I’m GOING to find myself again. ….I’m GOING to be normal again and I’m NOT…..I’m REFUSE to let him destroy any part of me! Anybody going through this needs to know and believe that things will feel whole again! !!!! We will have bad days. ….but it can’t rain all the time!

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