How do I help her make her own decisions?

How do I help her make her own decisions?

I am working at a relationship with a 30 year victim of a narcissistic husband.  It is a long story, but shortly, I truly do like this lady.  My problem is, she is sort of like a pinball that bounces from what one sister says, to what her mother says and it has gotten to the point after two years that her sister is intervening into our relationship.  I guess I will have to tell a bit of my story here.  I am a widower.  I met this lady I have been Facebook dating now for about 2 years.  We have told each other everything about our lives and I have encouraged her to make her own choices, which she is better at.  Two days ago she calls me out of the blue and says she is going to date someone she met.  Now this would be fine and dandy with me, except that I am in love with her. Over the last couple of days, I have asked her to talk to me about this, which she has.  Today I found out that her sister wants her to date this other guy.  I also found out that she, the sister apparently does not like me because I don’t have enough where-with-all in her mind to support her sister.  Now, I own everything I have and owe nothing on my home or my three cars.  Yes, I am cash strapped because fighting my wife’s cancer without insurance, will devastate one’s finances.  All that being said, I am a worker and have many references. I guess part of the problem is that I am sixty years old (same as the lady I love).

Okay, now for my questions.

How do I help my lady friend make her own decisions?  Example, she wants to come see me.  I live in a different state at the moment.  Since she helps take care of her 90+ year old mother, she asked her sister about coming to see me.  Her sister disagreed, said she did not like my post of flowers on my lady friends page and apparently implied that it was not okay to come and see me.  I suggested that I come see her and it immediately presents a potential problem that her sister will have with me visiting.  So, I am not sure what to do.  I will not give this beautiful woman up without a fight, effort.  I suggested that she tell her sister that she is 60 years old and will make her own choices and if she wants, she will come visit me for a week.  This is where the snag happens.  She is afraid to push this as her sister uses living at her mom’s house as leverage.  This too is complicated.

Do you see my dilemma?  I don’t want to let her go because her sister is instigating this.  My lady friend sees this, but cannot make her own choice.

Please Help!


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