He treats me like I am a doormat

He treats me like I am a doormat

I could use some advice, someone help please! I have been married to my husband for 4 years now and he is so hard on me and our son. He’s 20 years older than I am and I left my ex and other 2 kids to be with him. We do have a son together and I regret my decisions I’ve made through this whole mess but I can’t change it now. He’s a drug addict but was clean almost a year until 3 weeks ago he relapsed. He blames me for every single thing! Yes I turned him in when he was doing the drugs pretty heavy because we have a baby boy together and he was arrested and since we have gotten back together to make things work because we do love each other, or should I say I love him.  He’s cheated on me several times but his excuse was it was only the drugs. He treats me like I am a doormat. I used to be fairly small but have put on some weight over the last year and all he can say is how lazy I am or how fat I have gotten.  He is a mad man when it comes to money and I have no way to our bank account.  He always threatens to take my car because it’s in his name. I lost my family when I chose to stay with this man who beat me and cheated on me and so much more that I’m not even ready to open up about. I have forgiven him and he hasn’t put his hands on me for over a year now but today he’s making me feel like I’m worthless.  He tells me I can’t make it out on my own tells me he only kept me around for our son and I don’t have a job because every time I had one he accused me of sleeping with someone so I quit and stayed at home. I shut out the world including family and friends I now have no one to turn to. He has my mind so confused and I am beyond scared that I won’t make it out on my own. So I choose to keep staying here but emotionally I am dying and don’t know what to do anymore. My doctor prescribed me depression meds a long time ago but he told me I can’t take them because it’s all in my head so I don’t take them. He’s always on my butt that I haven’t done enough when in reality when he tells me to do something I jump. This is only the beginning of my story but I’m not sure how to really open myself up anymore and let it all out.

2 thoughts on “He treats me like I am a doormat

  1. I recommend you seek help from a domestic violence specialist or counselor. We can tell you how this turns out but your not going to like it or believe it is possible. Only you know how much you can handle before you decide to get help. I wish I could tell you it will get better but it won’t. Your very life or the life of your son could at some point be in danger. Just know that you are not a victim and you have the power and strength to care for yourself and son even though he may have convinced you otherwise.

  2. Good morning, Speaking from the point of view of a child who grew up in a narcissistic household my advice is, PUT YOUR CHILD’S NEEDS BEFORE HIS. If that is done, I believe the best decision will be made. My mother, who I don’t believe is responsible for our father’s behavior held on tight to the rope of hope that he’s going to change for over 50 yrs before she finally left. He never did change and passed away at 78. The legacy he left is, sons who suffer from the same NPD as he did and I married a man who after the birth of our first child started displaying NPD traits. He was controlling, but treated us well as far as providing our every need, materialistic wise. After our second child he started doing things that would badly affect our children’s personalities. I didn’t want my son to learn the incorrect way to love and treat women, nor my daughter to learned the incorrect way to be loved by a man. We divorced when they were 7 and 11. Thank God, they grew into adults without NPD. Your boyfriend/husband is an adult now, who knows what happened in his childhood that grew him into the man he is, but he is who he is and sadly it can’t be undone. However, you have the chance to grow his son into a better person than he is. Give your son that gift and I believe it’ll be the best gift he’ll ever receive. There are great organizations that will provide assistance in getting you out of your situation. My mother left with only the clothes on her back and her important papers in her hand. We got her to a different state and there she reached out to a women’s abuse center that helped her find an apartment, furniture and vouchers for food and clothing. She was in her early 70s then and living her best life now. I hope what I’ve shared helps you in someway. When you’re ready, do a Google search on women’s abuse centers and contact one. They can advise you on what resources are available to you. I pray God bless you and your son’s path into a bright and healthy future. 🙂

Comments are closed.

Comments are closed.