He always compared me to other women

He always compared me to other women

I am trying to reach out to someone about a relationship I have just come out of:

I was in a relationship for two years, and during the relationship my ex boyfriend would compare me to woman that were a lot larger than me, comment on my weight, say I look like a butch lesbian with short hair, comment on my clothes  and would always comment about other woman liking him. This would hurt me and I would address it and would reply it’s just banter babes or I’m joking.

Anyway I went on holiday over Christmas and he was a little hidden with his phone, and I was really ill with Flu but I went. We were laying in bed and he told me that he had an amazing dream about the chalet host down stairs, I saw red and said he was boring, he reminded me of my ex, I hated him, he was a horrible person – I didn’t mean these things and all said out of hurt, anger and I was really not myself. I was ill with Flu and I was worried about losing my job in the new year. He couldn’t believe how I reacted and he is so angry with me how I acted after he just was winding me up. He dumped me and blocked me and is now ignoring me. I have tried to apologise a number of times, and I haven’t called everyday or begged him back but asked for my things back, I respected his decision I was horrible to him. He told me he has never been treated like that and it will never happen again and tough getting my things back I pushed it and he has now changed his locks and then blocked me. He dumped me over text and I feel absolutely awful and I’m punishing myself daily how could I be so horrible. It’s really not me and don’t know what to do.

I lost a baby 18 months ago and he told me I’m too old to have children and if he was to have another baby I wouldn’t be the mother to his first baby. I’m devastated by his words and appreciate I deserve them because of my horrible words and actions.

Friends say he is a narcissist but I don’t believe it, and don’t think he is.

Your thoughts and advice would be great in this situation.

Thank you

3 thoughts on “He always compared me to other women

  1. Trust me. He is a narc..Some of the things you wrote my ex said to me. This guy is textbook. It’s time you let go. It won’t be easy but you will look back and see how bad he was for you. My relationship was 16 years and I am 10 months out and feel better everyday. YOU can do this.

    1. He was tearing you down trying to hurt you of course you snapped. Deep down you know it was wrong. You just weren’t ready to stand up for yourself when you did. He doesn’t respect women. Why want a man like that? Good for you that you did tell him off!

    2. Thank you for your words of advice and support and it means so much but I still feel awful everyday that I have hurt someone’s feelings. I have tried to apologise, accepted full responsibility, told him it’s not me to go out my way to hurt someone. It was said out of anger and hurt but it’s the treatment I have got. I’m not saying forgive me and it will be ok but talk to me, part on good terms, let me have my things back but nope I’m just ignored and when he was texting just saying I was the one who caused this, he’s not hurting me it’s me as I upset him. He will not ignore the comments, I ruined the holiday … I don’t eat, I don’t sleep. This is really not me or my nature. I’m a firm believer you treat people how you want to be treated and unkind words should not be said … I let everyone down with my words including myself! I don’t know what to do.

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