Has anyone ever known them to change?

Has anyone ever known them to change?

I don’t know how many times I’ve forgiven the outbursts for nothing, the silent treatments that went on for days on end, the put downs and the rages.  Now I’m being asked to forgive again.  I don’t know if I can keep on forgiving.  I’ve had promises of it never happening again but it does and promising to change.  Part of me wants to believe that changing is possible.  Can you ask if anyone has ever known these people to change.  Most articles I read says they can’t.  Please help.

6 thoughts on “Has anyone ever known them to change?

  1. From my experience, they don’t change. They don’t think there is anything wrong with their behavior and feel entitled to treat us horribly. So don’t hold your breath on him changing; it isn’t going to happen.

  2. I have gotten myself into a mass I’m 54 years old. Last year my step father passed away which left us with the decision to put my mother in a nursing home or move her out of her own home I moved up to her home to take care of her I made a very bad decision to move into her home. All the years of abuse has come to a head. Financially my husband and I cannot move without losing everything we have and starting over . She is extremely narcissistic then finally recognizing that that the abuse has been going on since childhood. I am so glad I came across your website it helps me to know that I’m not alone

  3. I have been married to my husband 49 years in November. I have chosen to stay with him for many worthy reasons until about one week ago. He can not be respectful of me around other women. When I have reached a point that I think nothing else can possibly happen in this marriage, he finds something he knows I will tolorate no more. I know only God and perhaps psycoanalysis can heal him. My hope is in the Lord to heal one day. In the meantime I have moved out and am thankful for the safe place I can retreat to daily. This long weekend he took off to my favorite peaceful place in the world, with the truck I paid for, the camper I begged him to buy and our family I have sacrificed to keep together. Today I pray for an unoffendable heart as I see it only fuels his emotional abuse of me. It seems too huge of a task to disassemble almost 50 years of life together. Anonymous, please

    1. Please leave. It is one of the very hardest things you will do. My narcissistic exhusband treated me the exact same way. I finally realized that I was killing myself by staying. It took everything I had to stand up to it. My friend helped me and it took me almost a year to not be scared of an attack and two more years to be able to sleep all night. It’s your choice to leave but if that is what you decide so many people will be there for you.

      Today three years later I know who I am. I am happy. I am strong.

  4. Well, I’d say it’s a rarity that they admit they’ve done anything to be forgiven

  5. In addition to what has already been said, they often believe that they are normal, that most people or even everyone is exactly like them.
    My ex is like that.

    You have experienced his inability to change a number of times already. Enough is enough.
    We’ve all been there, hoping and believing that this was the last time they did that to us, after the apology.

    It’s best to let go. Difficult, but your future self will thank you.

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