Many people want to know if they should warn their ex partner’s new target and let them know exactly what they are letting themselves in for. Most kind hearted people don’t want to see others going through the same sort of pain that they, themselves, have endured. They feel that by warning the narcissist’s new target, they will be believed and the new partner will kick them to the kerb and move on with their life relatively unscathed and forever grateful. Think again.
The general consensus of opinion is to leave them to it.
The narcissist is one step ahead so by the time you find out about their new partner, they have been spreading lies about you being the crazy ex… How you don’t want to let them go and will do anything to keep them. By contacting the new partner, you will likely confirm the narcissist’s accusations that you are the obsessed, insanely jealous ex. They do not want to and will not see the evil that hides behind the fake persona. Instead of driving them apart, you will probably strengthen their relationship. The new partner will sympathise with the narcissist who has endured such a difficult relationship with a psycho!
Let’s go back in time to when you first met the narcissist. How would you have reacted to words of warning from one of their previous partners? Would you have believed the words of someone who you believe to be crazy when all the evidence points to the contrary? We all know that when you first meet a narcissist, they fool you with their charm and charisma. You have no reason to doubt they are not your perfect partner. You’re a match made in heaven and nobody is going to tell you otherwise.
Let’s not forget that the narcissist is a pathological liar who is well practised in the ‘art of lying’ and they will, more than likely be believed. You, on the other hand, will come not come out of this situation smelling of roses and will likely suffer further heartache as a result of your good intentions.
It’s difficult to think of your ex skipping off happily into the sunset with their new love.
Please remember, it’s not going to be a happy ever after scenario. They haven’t changed. Their new partner is blinded by rose tinted glasses. They will get the same treatment as you did a little down that road to their blissful lives together, maybe even worse. Now is the time to stop thinking of everyone else and focus on you and your recovery.
Written by Anne McCrea
Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse, Shattering the Illusion, now available on Amazon