Am I just scared?

Am I just scared?

It’s been a little while since I’ve been out of my relationship with my ex.  I am finally done with him.  The cheating, lying, controlling-ness and walking on eggshells to see when he is going to snap.

I’ve had some really bad days and some really good days, but lately I have been hanging around with somebody I used to know very well.  Reacquainting and talking almost everyday.  He’s been encouraging me when I’m scared and pushing me to try these knew things that have been pushed down for so long.  He is patient and kind and understanding.  There are moments when I flinch at a word or a comment and then apologize later and he looks at me like I’m nuts. “Why are you sorry?  You didn’t do anything.”

Instead of getting frustrated and angry he is very empathetic and explains how he understands why I feel that way and just encourages me forward.  It scares me and I don’t understand why.  With everyday that we talk and spend together I love it and feel more confident to just be myself again but I have this irrational fear of what could happen if it changes.  Is it because it’s too soon to be seeing another man?  Or am I just scared because I have been through so much trauma with my ex that getting close to someone else is always going to be scary?  I really don’t understand.  I feel like a rollercoaster of feelings I’ve never experienced before.

2 thoughts on “Am I just scared?

  1. You’re Moving In The Right Direction, Keep Going. Go To An Emergency Room And Ask For Help. Real Serious Help. You Have A Lot Of Work Cut Out In Front Of You, But Salvation Is Worth It!

  2. I was in a similar situation when I was married to my ex. When my divorce was finalized I met a wonderful man that was just as you described. I dated him for almost 5 years and we have been married for almost 3 years. He is everything that I was missing in my first marriage. Take it slow and enjoy him and a healthy relationship!

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