How do I move Forward?
I was with a narc (I believe psychopath) for over 5 years, he had affair after affair. My question is I am 20 months out of the relationship and struggling to let it all go? I am angry and so untrusting of other men. I struggle to go on a date. My life now is just work. I had a massage today and found myself in tears thinking about him. I surround myself with internet articles of NPD. Is this slowing me down as I think I use it as a means to stop myself grieving? How do I move forward?
4 thoughts on “How do I move Forward?”
You need to focus on you. Not him. Start by learning how to really love yourself and get back to the person you were before you met him. Surround yourself with friends, old and new. Don’t think about dating or finding a partner, keep your mind and body busy. Learn something you’ve always wanted to learn. Do volunteer work. Delete his number. Read and educate yourself to learn red flags when you see them but don’t let negative thoughts or worry consume you, again have plan Bs to keep your mind busy if you find yourself going down that road. Don’t be hard on yourself either, you having these emotions are normal and human, allow yourself to grieve the person you thought they were or the life you thought you would have. Speak to someone, a therapist, someone that can give you tools to deal with what you’ve been through. Unless you have experienced this no one, not even friends or family may understand or even have heard of this personality disorder. It takes time. Be kind to yourself. Don’t think happiness and peace is a destination. It’s a work in progress. Always . Good luck
Im going through much the same atm, grieving wondering why, , he wont speak to me luckily,i know i cant or can never go back to him now i still think of him every day but know its crazy life is easier without his manipulating deceptive ways.. Iv been cheated on 2x that im awhare of, thats the part that hurts to try and understand i thought he was happy, but working away he enjoyed the attention of others, so now i read everything i can so i know im not to blame for our relationship turning into a disaster.. Hopefully i can move on as well as you, iv been trying, its been a month now… Hopefully we find strength together and move on for our own happiness. Good luck. Ur not alone
Dont worry be happy! The feelings you have is the way he groomed you/trained you. To not believe in yourself, to break you down slowly so that you believe what he says is real and what ever you think is not right or real. Leave, run, and dont look back, because you are free from the abuse at a safe distance. When he realizes you not coming back he will find a new victim and the process starts all over again. Its not your fault, you cant help him, dont be tricked into going back! Smile, laugh, get your good friend relationships back to where you left them, did i say dont look back! There is a whole new life without abuse just waiting for you! Believe in your self, you are not the abuser, he is! Xo
Understandably You Likely Have Some Form Of Narc.Survivor /Post Traumatic Stress. (I’ve Been Dealing With Mine For Over 20 Years Now, So Please Know You Are Not Alone.) Please Consider Finding A Therapist/Support Group To Help With The Baggage. Immerse Yourself In Good Outlets—Art, Classes, Exercise, Volunteer, Etc.—Just Don’t Get Too Cocky Or You’ll End Up Prey Again For Another Narc. Best Of Luck!
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