What is emotional Abuse?

What is emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse may be referred to as psychological violence or mental abuse, which involves subjecting someone to behaviour which may result in psychological distress or trauma such as chronic depression, stress, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. Emotional abuse can be just as devastating as physical abuse, sometimes even more so. How do you know if you are being emotionally abused? The answer is in the way a person makes you feel as a result of their behaviour. If someone controls your life, puts you down and creates feelings of low self-worth, you are being abused. If someone is stopping you from being yourself, expressing yourself or isolating you from your friends and family, you are being emotionally abused.

Examples of emotional abuse include:

• Aggressive behaviour towards you.

• Controlling behaviour, such as telling you what is best for you, not being allowed to have your own opinions, being told what to do, how to spend your time, who to associate with, what to wear etc.

• Criticism. (Justified criticism is healthy but constant criticism will destroy anyone’s self-esteem.)

• Being belittled and made to feel bad about yourself.

• Isolating you from friends and family. (Once isolated, you become easier to control with no one to turn to but the abuser.)

• Name calling.

• Gaslighting. (Sometimes described as ‘psychological warfare’ gaslighting is an insidious process of mind games that occur over a period of time resulting in the person being gaslighted questioning their own sanity and/or reality unable to trust their own judgement.)

• Being made to feel guilty for mistakes you didn’t make.

• Passive aggressive behaviour. (Being subjected to the silent treatment for some perceived slight.)

• Financial abuse such as not being in control of your own finances. Denying access to finances will restrict your freedom and independence.

The aim of an emotional abuser is to gradually chip away at your self-esteem and independence so that, in time, you become a shell of your former self. Eventually, you may feel trapped with no way out of the relationship. You may feel that you can’t manage without this abusive person in your life. You can, and you will with the correct help and support.

Written by
Anne McCrea

Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse, Shattering the Illusion, now available on Amazon

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8 thoughts on “What is emotional Abuse?

  1. I think my bf is abusing me. Very hot and cold towards me. Tells me I have serious issues and that I’m over the top needy. That I’m a baby. No man wants a person like me and I’ll always fail at relationships. But then keeps me hidden from his friends and not to let anyone know on social media we’re a couple.
    Told me after I put my dong down that I’m over the top emotional and to get over 5 hours after she died..

  2. I just got out of a all night fight with my husband and the hardest thing is watching as he plays every violin and twist all his lies and and does everything in his power to push me to his desired state to the brink of a break down. As if I don’t know how this works. I see him. I see through him and yet I can’t do anything about. The tears are from the frustration of knowing and he won’t stop.

  3. The more I read up on this subject the more I understand …..pity it took so long
    I knew I was getting done over but I had to ride it out for fear that he would drive like a maniac back to the country town that he was supposed to be in
    My son would come and stay and I couldn’t get rid of him I had to wait til he was ready and fit to drive.and I played it to be normal to make him feel all was good at the end of last year 2018 and haven’t seen him since and what a relief it is not to have him back

  4. I think I’m doing these things to my spouse. After 2 decades of being with someone with traits of diagnosed schizoid and antisocial personality disorders there’s never any resolution or change now the anger is coming out sideways in the form of emotional abuse. We’re toxic together, but I hate how I feel when I’m dobe being angry. I need help.

  5. Was molested by uncle at age 9. Never told a soul. That secret ruined my life. Took away my ability to trust myself with decisions. Cause at that time I made the decision not to tell. Every minute of every day i held on to that secret. It only got better after I saw a therapist in my early thirties. She told me I hated myself. And she was right. Gave me some exercises to start forgiving myself. It was as if I was 9 yrs old again forgiveness was bestowed upon me to start over. Best thing ever.

  6. I have been with a man for 5 years. We moved in together in a remote place and that’s when it began. I was a long way from family and friends and if I wanted to see them, he would have to be with me. His cruelty, I cant even describe. Calling me bipolar and crazy when I questioned his decisions made for us both us. He would pin me to the floor with his arm across my throat, until I thought I was going to die, whilst calmly going through my phone.
    At one point he emptied my bank accounts using our PayPal accounts. He has punched kicked and thrown me against walls. He has left me several times for nothing and his family do not speak to me yet I am expected to treat them especially nice.
    I have a high profile job and I have to check in by phone several times a day. Meetings at work are a nightmare as he screams at me, checking my body to see if I am groomed sufficiently to sleep with other men. I doubt everything about myself. I had to leave a few days ago because I was trying to play with him and he became very tense very quickly. As a result I took a hot bath and was ignored for two days for “sulking ” I had to leave in the night after he had smashed my phone, stamped on my car keys, then proceeded to kick and punch me. I finally escaped. He then sent pictures of his injuries (caused by himself) to my children. Along with having the police stop my car and test me for drugs. What is wrong with these people? I take him on holidays, treat him like a prince and I am devastated. How can he be so lovely, making me love and miss him and then do this to me! I am truly broken.

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