They are not responding and she feels so unloved

They are not responding and she feels so unloved

Brief history… My ex and I split in 2012 (my choice). One child, a daughter who was 9 at the time. Horrendous legal battle ensued. He stole all assets and money (near $300,000). Never saw a cent. Has never paid child support. He had 6 lawyers, I barely could afford one as all our money was ‘gone’.  After 6 child psychologist/family assessors etc etc.. I was granted sole custody, at the recommendation of the last 2 psychologists, as a result of his behaviour toward both me and my daughter. The court (without us asking) also issued a restraining order so that he could not contact us in any way (breaches still occur)… he had 5 boys from 2 previous relationships, our daughter was my first and only.   I’ve always tried my best to allow the door to remain open when and if she wanted to reconnect with him or her brothers. ( she only likes 2, as 2 of the other ones used to verbally abuse her when she visited). So my dilemma is this… she is missing her brothers she likes (to note they are also 15-20 years older than her – they’re in their 30s).

She has tried to reach out to them via email, pinterest and instagram – and I am going to help her set up a FB account so she can. It’s breaking my heart because they are not responding to her and she feels so unloved by them… they are the only siblings she has, and irrespective of all the damage the ex (and the sons, yes, they were involved too) have caused, I am wanting to support my daughter where I can. What should I do? After her experience with the legal system and councillors – she will never talk to anyone again, she has no trust. I’m cautious with the brothers, knowing what I know (which my daughter is not privvy to). Im desperate, I dont know what to do. I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions at this point. Other than hugging her and telling her that my love for her is unconditional, Im at a loss.  Sorry for the super long post – this is only the tip of the iceberg. Thanks

One thought on “They are not responding and she feels so unloved

  1. I feel in this case, unfortunately, it may be best to sever the bonds. I understand your daughter is missing those brothers, but I don’t think she can have a relationship there without being subjected to your ex in some shape or form, and there is no reason to put her through that. You would be protecting her better, IMO, by keeping her clear of all of that, no matter how much it may hurt her.

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