THE AGEING NARCISSIST

THE AGEING NARCISSIST

As a narcissist ages, people eventually see through the false charm and see the person for who they really are. Slowly but surely, the narcissist’s social circle dwindles away, one by one people disappear, no longer finding their behaviour acceptable. Most people who have crossed their path in one way or another have borne witness to their deceit and toxicity. Towards the end of their lives there is often not one single living soul who cares whether they live or die. By the time the final curtain falls, they receive what I call poetic justice, getting back what they gave out to others all their lives. As they take their last breath, there’s not a hand to hold, everyone who once cared is long gone. Call it Karma, call it God having the final say, call it what you will… I call it pay back.

Ageing is a process that none of us look forward to, but it IS better than the alternative. Most of us try to age with grace and dignity, having gained wisdom through the years. A narcissist’s behaviour tends to get worse with the passage of time. As time takes its toll on their looks and their health they know that admiration is a thing of the past. Time has taken its toll on their withered frame. They can no longer rely on their outward appearance to attract new supply. They glare at the image staring back at them from the mirror failing to accept the aging face before them. Their mind is not as sharp as it once was. What have they left to look forward to? Retirement? Obscurity? Insignificance? We are always told to look on the inside, look at how someone treats others, look at their heart and look at their soul. It’s the inside that counts. What’s on the inside of a narcissist? Absolutely nothing but an empty shell. As the years roll by the narcissist faces a complete loss of supply and lashes out at anyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot.

WHEN THE NARCISSIST IS LEFT ALONE

I have a strong belief that people who treat others poorly and have no empathy or compassion for others will be shown no compassion in later life. They have spent their entire lives abusing, betraying and demeaning others, aware of what they do, and without a second thought for the pain that they inflict time and time again. Friends and ex-partners have become enemies. If their children haven’t already become strangers, the narcissist may try to buy their children’s love in a feeble attempt to keep them close, believing that they may be the only people left on this earth who will put up with their pernicious behaviour. These meagre efforts to be seen as a good parent may be welcomed by a child who has spent a lifetime seeking mum or dad’s approval. For others, it will be too little too late.

‘An ironic twist of fate…
Their enemy will be their memories.
They can never undo what they’ve done.
They can’t escape their thoughts
When they find themselves alone,
Unloved and abandoned.
When their evil has been uncovered,
The truth will pursue them,
Wherever they go.’

The narcissist is an immature, angry, volatile and controlling individual. They spend their lives attempting to form relationships. Sadly, it’s not a partnership they are seeking but a dictatorship where they have all the power and control. Eventually people get sick and tired of their behaviour and abandon them. A string of failed relationships adds to their already fragile ego. By bringing about their own abandonment as a result of their abusive and despicable behaviour, they inflict upon themselves a deep narcissistic injury. Somehow, the narcissist will delude themselves into believing that their own self destruction is someone else’s fault.

Much like a drug addict without their supply, the narcissist can’t cope when supplies become scarce and runs out. They become chronically depressed and angry and find no pleasure in anything. Their noxious behaviour becomes more demanding and worse by the day. Things that they used to enjoy no longer hold their interest. Their world has become hostile, their social life non-existent. No one wants to be in their company for any length of time. They often become a hermit, closed off from the outside world, blaming everyone else for the situation that they find themselves in. The longer the lack of supply continues, the worse their insecurities and paranoia become.

The narcissist clings desperately to nothing, resenting the passage of time yet helpless to prevent it. They may create fake profiles on social media to stalk people, people that they may never meet or talk to. Surfing the Internet may give them the opportunity to get a little attention from someone, from anyone. They’ve lost faith in themselves. They don’t like themselves and nobody else likes them either, so they think, ‘There’s no point in being nice.’

Narcissists have an enormous fear of their own mortality. As death approaches, they know that complete oblivion is on the horizon. Life gives back to them exactly what they deserve, loneliness and isolation. They find themselves being shunned and ignored. The one thing that they never could control is time. As they move forward to eternity they have the knowledge that there is a final judge, and this time, it’s not them.

THE NARCISSIST AND ILLNESS

People will say that when they have become ill, the narcissist didn’t want to know. They were not interested and basically didn’t care. They saw it as your problem, so get on with it. So what happens when a narcissist gets sick? They will milk it for as long as they can. They will take all the sympathy and concern that they can muster, and then some.

They will see their illness as a reason to demand your attention 24/7. Cast any plans you may have aside. Your focus must be on them until they are better. After you have nursed them back to health, taken them to the doctor, collected their medications and tended to their every need, don’t expect them to show you how grateful they are for your tender loving care. They aren’t. It was your duty after all. You could have done more.

There are times when a narcissist will fake illness, fake a heart attack, fake cancer, in fact fake anything, just to focus attention on themselves. They may do so when you are ill, go one better than you with an illness much worse than yours in order that they get the attention that should be focused on you.

THE NARCISSIST ON THEIR DEATH BED

I am often asked if a narcissist will change when they are on their deathbed. Will they want to put things right and apologize to all those they have hurt in their lifetime? Some people want closure and expect a change of heart from the narcissist as they take their last breath. A deathbed apology is extremely unlikely. They are likely to die the same way that they have lived, hurting others. Many will use this time to twist the knife in just one more time.

Don’t beat yourself up if you decide not to pay them one last visit. It is a matter of looking after yourself, a matter of self-protection. There is no point in opening old wounds to satisfy the demands of someone who inflicted those wounds in the first place. If they wanted your company, they should have shown remorse before this late stage, and they should have acted better.

Pity them for being the person they are if you must, but please be careful to never give them the chance to hurt you again.

Written by Anne McCrea

(From Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse, Shattering the Illusion, now available on Amazon)

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25 thoughts on “THE AGEING NARCISSIST

  1. Oh yes, this is so true. I see my ex being shunned by nearly everyone. He used and exploited people all his life and now his behaviour is coming back to bite him in the ass and man does he deserve it! He’s living his old age alone and yes, nobody cares and his children are waiting for the day he passes over to the hell that’s his forever home.

    1. I spent the last week of my father’s life at his side. He was 97 and had Alzheimers. He was emotionally and physically abusive to me when I was a child. I spent years in therapy dealing with the complex PTSD I ended up with as a result. On his deathbed, my father, thinking that I was my sister, said “I guess the only foul ball in this family is Ginni.” Those were my father’s final words to me.

  2. First. I am not a so called Narcist. I have been affected my whole life from my mother (first) who I do not call a” narcistic”. Yes she ticks most of those behaviours, and “WOULD” be diagnosed as a “NARC” if she was analysed. I don’t call her or anyone a LABLE! Who am I, to label, anyone as anything other than what we all are? A PERSON! She, is a person, a woman, a sister, an auntie,, a wife, a grandmother and MY MOTHER! Those lables are COMPASSION. They are UNDERSTANDING. They are TRUTH! ! They are lables for my mother! She is a PERSON! I see her as a person, therefore, I treat her as a person! Because I am a person! This , person who has traumatised me, devalued my feelings and experiences, and has been all those nasty things to myself and sister and father too. She has also, always, fed us, washed our clothes, given us whatever we wanted, and she has always been whatever she could be to us. COULD BE! Evil she is not. She is a person! Damaged. Hurt. Traumatised. Affected. Unconscious. Egotistical. Manipulative. Angry. Abusive. So true. But is that the person or their abuser comind through? Or maybe my great grandfather showing his evil? How far back does this trauma go?? I don’t know. All I know, is this is where that trauma ends! With me! I will not continue this energy through me to my kids, or allow it too affect anyone around me neither! Threads like your show, unhealed, pride filled, vinductivness, and victim play, that is just a view of someone, from a PERSON who is not better than her abuser, but need to point at the NARCS to believe they are NOT a NARC, and to FEEL Free of the NARC’s pain. (Secondly) I am aware, conscious, and knowledgeable on behaviour. I truly understand her, and only because I truly understand MYSELF! Have I done those things NARCS do? Ofromr two, here and there, over 43 years, in moments that didn’t feel true to me means, I am not a NARC! and neither is anyone! People affect people. My mother may pass on and never been able to surrender her pain, and ego, and never truly been able to connect in her heart space with anyone, but she won’t ever be remember only for what she done. But what she was unable to give because of abuse to her! That, is compassion, for the person, who is my mother, and who has given me life, and hell, and a tad of her love, by giving material to me that I wanted growing up! She showed her love there. Who am I to complain. I never went without toys, sweets, and pocket money. I never had NO, if I asked. She got nothing but beatings, unfair treatment and abused , and controlled by father, and brothers forced to work from 12 years old, and until 29 years old until she migrated to Australia from Greece for that to stop. You recon you could live that, and without a mother who died when my mum was a child, and have 11 siblings whom are ALL abusing each other. 29 years! Should I expect anything other than a head case, who has dark pain and shit behaviour, locked into her void, by her ego?? She wasn’t a so called NARC, when she was born. She was LOVE! Who was destroyed by a destroyed man, who was destroyed by a destroyed PERSON ETC ETC. (FINALY). I Married a NARC, then divorced her, fell in love so deeply with another NARC, who reached in and tore my soul out , destroyed my world, and abandoned me!! I thank her! After all this lifetime of pain and abuse, here I am , complete, alive , true, loving, caring, and healing, and all because I am LOVE! I was neglected and I searched love in all these women who couldnt fill this desire. I found it. In ME! YES they all hurt me, badly, but they all gave something too, that has affected me to be who I am today! I wouldn’t change a single thing if I could, and I will never be abused like that again. I will never expect something from someone who can’t give it, or nor do I need, love, approval, nurturing, or a woman to complete me! I am complete! They, the so called NARCS, ARE NOT COMPLETE! Are you? Doesn’t sound like you are. . I hope my words help you see the truth, through your tears. My mother is now, 81, she has renal failure, and is à prescription drug addict, and she is also lashing out more, and seems to be feeling more fearful , and IS getting nastier! So I am now her full time carer, and my father is with us too, very frail and need care too. I said, I AM LOVE, therefore I must give LOVE, to BE love, because I FEEL love, only then can I stay true to the meaning of LOVE! Q)What is the meaning of love?? A) READ MY THREAD AGAIN!

    1. They are not normal people, George. Normal people do not treat others like that. There is NO excuse for their behavior. Clinical psychiatry calls it Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Abuse. It isnt a label any more than calling somebody a diabetic. It is a very real, very dangerous mental disorder. There are countless medical journals you can check out from hospitals. It isnt a “label”. Its a bonafide mefical condition and mental disorder that sadly there is no cure for.

      1. Narc’s usually know that they are a narc. And they may be one of the hardest people to become a decent human being to others. But there is a way for their healing and probably the only way. Whether you agree with me or not the way is from the one who created them, but not their narcism. The way is a complete surrender of their heart, mind and soul to Jesus Christ. With Christ in them then they can have a change of heart and a change of character to be like the one they focus their mind on, who gives them the power they need to change . . .

      2. I think George is not trying to deny the fact that narcissism is a true illness……he is simply taking a different view than most. An illness can’t be helped (like diabetes or cancer), one can’t be blamed or shouldn’t be treated wrongly for having it! George is accepting the illness and also chooses to take a mature view about it. You can’t blame someone for having narcissism, but you should in turn,
        sympathize with that person! It’s incredibly difficult to
        do……but it is “for better or worse, in sickness and
        health”! It’s a painful way to live (with one) and it takes a compassionate person to do so……it can’t be treated because they won’t admit to doing anything wrong, since they are always right!! Vicious cycle!!
        Good luck George!

    2. George reading your comments… All I can think is that you have not experienced a true narcissist. You couldn’t have. I also think you were having a couple cocktails when you wrote that because it rambles? And thirdly… I question that you yourself might be a true narcissist based on how un-apologetic you are and what you write and how are you rant. I didn’t see any compassion in there whatsoever. Everything you just wrote reminded me of my severely narcissistic ex-husband… Who in the end died alone. Sorry but… The quote…”Thoust doust protest too much”… was screaming in my head reading your dissertation.
      Peace be with you

      1. Right On!
        Im like reading this and in my head I’m hearing….REALLY! This person couldn’t say enough good things about himself. With such a pious …look at me! look at me! WOW! WOW!

    3. I agree with you, just because a person is full of pain & deep down hurt, doesn’t mean they never loved you or worked hard yo take care of you, God bless these Precious Souls who are left on the end.❤️

      1. Lori. After reading your disrespectful, low response I laughed. Yes laughed. After I laughed, at your unconscious behaviour, I felt,,, !! I FELT!! YOU DO NOT. compassion can’t be read. I FELT compassion when I described, her , and didn’t hold back, and also described her abused childhood. To explain how to find understanding, about THE NARC so to then feel free from the trauma they inflict! My healing came through back then, and my compassion is true to me. As for you, well let me say, you attacked of the bat, and in a TEXT BOOK WAY!! Here, WHO the fuck are you to tell me what I have or havnt experienced in MY LIFE?? Your a shit PERSON! My life experiences are MINE, you fucking TROLL! There, now I feel better, cause you can have your unhealed, misunderstood, feelings back LORI!! OWN YOUR OWN SHIT! As for rambling on as you said, blah blah blah, I’ll talk under water ! My ME ME, description is ALL ME! Yes, when someone like me, who had never ever BEEN ME, cause I was moulded to be serve the so called NARC , like I was left me severely imbalanced. No sense of SELF. SELFLESS! Happy mum , safe Me. Happy Sister, someone to play with Me. Happy Girlfriend, Secure Me. To HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE! FOR ME. This imbalance put me in 4 long term , and 2 life long relationships with the other side of MY COIN! SELFISH. So now that I have done Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Studying the Toxic Family I lived and still encounter, I finally healed and found ME! YES ME LORI! Me, Me, Me ! Finally! Little George is healed. Ego adult George is in the Gimp cellar! Forever!! Now I AM! I AM! Are you? What? A NARCIST! YES , you ARE! I now understand you, and i feel for you! Compassion! I hope you find peace. My story is real. I am real. And the responses from other people who say I have helped them is WORTH every kick you gave me! I hope I help more people. That IS LOVE after all!! I am A SAINT yeah! St GEORGE, the DRAGON SLAYER! Slaying FIRE BREATHERS like you is where I cut my teeth on. HAPPY TO SLAY, or make accountable, or embarrass, YOU! WHY? Cause I AM! FORGIVE YOURSELF THEN your ABUSER is my advise! Lori!

    4. George I loved loved reading your post. It makes a lot lot of sense. We can only change ourselves and if we only focus on I and rather than the other then I can choose how to respond irrespective of the other person. I can choose to not be hate, to not be anger, to not retaliate, I can choose to not be a victim, I can choose to remain as myself irrespective of how another person behaves, I can choose freedom from the choices of others, I can choose to be love. Thank you for this, helped a lot especially since I am trying to see how to relate with mum. Yes the negatives are glaring but still she provided, gave an ear, advised, protected….amidst the negatives she was a mum. I will not ignore the abusive aspects but then I will remember the positives too then I will ask ‘what does love in me say ‘ whenever the tough I have to deal with an issue with her, others. Empaths have to perpetually deal with narcs!!!Its not just a mum, its a sibling, a lover, a partner, a boss, a colleague. It doesn’t mean becoming a doormat but becoming self aware and choosing to never be a victim again, choosing to respond rather than react, never reacting to them but rather pnly responding in the most authentic way to yourself, remaining the loving self always even in the moments of narc theatrics and in relationships of no choice as is the case with parents, siblings, children. Thank you again George for your post. Have learned a lot from it in the positive. Very helpful.

  3. Makes me wonder where I stand. I admire someone, who can forgive. But I also cannot force myself to forgive and love. Actually love is the one thing you cannot pretend

  4. I read your article with interest, and the bit about narcissists milking illnesses describes my mother-in-law to a tee! However, the things you write about “justice” and about narcissists slowly being revealed to others, and thus getting left alone, fall flat.

    What your article and insight misses is the fact that narcissists NEED SUPPLY until their dying day. If one person abandons them or goes “no contact”, they will desperately replace them with another. Sources of supply can come from literally anywhere – all the narcissist needs is one person gullible enough to fall for their nonsense. Furthermore, whilst it may be the case that some people spot the narcissist, and therefore decide to cease contact, others do not. Some narcissists may indeed die alone because people have called them out, and recognise what they are. However, others – perhaps more manipulative ones – will always work to find sources of supply, and people they can hang around.

    This is where your bit about ILLNESS is so important – though you seem to have missed that fact. Perhaps you did not pursue the line of inquiry far enough, because you were onto a really good idea, but stopped short!

    The aging narcissist, as you rightly say, fears aging – loss of control, and loss of people to control around them. Some of their elderly friends and acquaintances (or, really, narcissistic supply and flying monkeys) will die before they do. I doubt that any bona-fide narcissist will just accept this. Rather, they will try to find new people to emotionally leech-off.

    This is where, if the narcissist is really cunning, they can actually USE AGING TO THEIR ADVANTAGE. You see, most developed countries have a health and social care system, as well as an expectation that family members look after frail relatives. Even “Third World” countries still place expectations on family members to care for elderly, sick and infant relatives. So, being elderly and/or sick can really play to a narcissist’s ADVANTAGE.

    My mother-in-law is a wonderful “case study” in respect of this. She has been demanding, intrusive and emotionally manipulative for as long as I can remember. She has NO boundaries whatsoever, and has three sons, all of whose lives she pokes her nose into. I am married to one son, and for the duration of my marriage, have felt my mother-in-law’s wrath directed towards me because (in her words) “I took her son away” and “I changed him”.

    I have experienced name-calling, smear-campaigns and gossip behind my back, insults to my face, criticism of my housekeeping. I have been called “selfish” for having a career and qualifications. I have had to put up with my mother-in-law’s judgment of me on all levels – she criticises me for being slim, for dressing nicely to please myself and my husband. She criticises me for having fertility problems, and for not having given her the grandchildren she demanded (she even went behind my back to ask my own mother about this). She compares my career, qualifications and abilities both to her own, and to those of her sons – seeing me as a problem because I am a postgraduate researcher (in HER eyes, men should be the “breadwinners”, unless married to HER!).

    She places incredible demands on my husband and I, to the point where we feel we have no space for our own lives. She asks us (or, rather, expects us) to walk her dog for her, tidy her house and gardens for her, visit her incessantly – and if we don’t she moans. She turned up constantly without invitation at our house, sometimes just as we were going out, and sulked if we told her we were busy. This ended in a row, when we told her to phone before visiting, to check we were in. She took this extremely personally, as if we had no right to ask for time to ourselves. After this incident, I became aware she had bad-mouthed me around the local community, saying I was “keeping her son from her”. She then complained to anyone and everyone who would listen about my husband and I, saying we were “selfish” and accusing us of being less than dutiful relatives. She also attempted to infer we were “antisocial” and “had no friends”.

    She has stolen from us in the past – when we called her out on this, she had what I can only describe as equivalent to a toddler’s “temper tantrum”, with screaming and crying and (fake) tears. She even claimed we were “giving her a heart attack”. Suffice it to say she NEVER returned what she stole. Her behaviour in general got worse after her husband dies, as she became increasingly needy and demanding. Around this time, she assumed the “poor, sickly me” role.

    Now, she claims to have all manner of ailments – from respiratory to heart problems. What is true, and what is exaggerated, is hard to say. However, she is always making medical insurance and medical negligence claims! This annoys me, as I have had significant health problems myself, which affected my fertility, mobility, and career. I have had to have multiple surgeries, and ongoing treatment. I am left with damage to my spine, damage to my left hip, and fertility problems – as a result of treatment for Endometriosis. I also have anaemia and respiratory problems.

    Whenever I am ill, my mother-in-law “competes” with me (that is how it feels). If I am ill, she has to be more ill. If I am in pain, then it is nothing compared to her pain. She even (quote) dismissed Endometriosis as “trivial” (a condition for which I have had FIVE invasive surgeries close to my bladder and bowel)! On one occasion, she had one of my brothers-in-law phone demanding that my husband and I go round to look after her, and I told him that I was due to have surgery the next day. His reply included the words “That’s trivial”, and then he went on to explain how my mother-in-law expected us to visit anyway!

    She constantly has to let people (including family) know of ALL her doctor’s appointments, and seems to expect that somebody must go with her. She demands AMBULANCES to take her to these appointments, even though she can go out of the house no problem for shopping, or to the Library, or out for meals in restaurants! She is an ex-Nurse, so she is literally MILKING the illness thing, and knows just how to demand sympathy, plus who from.

    My husband and I went no-contact for some time. During this time, my mother-in-law enlisted the help of all manner of “Care Agencies”, claiming she was elderly, ill and alone. She uses this to HER ADVANTAGE. Now, she has visits from a Hospice Worker, from a Social Care Worker, from community Nurses, a dog walker and from domestic cleaning agencies. She uses these visits to sit and talk constantly about herself, moan about her illness, and to demand that people do things for her. On one occasion, I heard her demanding that the Hospice Worker put the bins out for her! The cleaning lady does FAR MORE THAN CLEAN – she gardens, puts rubbish out for the trash men, and walks the dog! My mother-in-law has contacted ME just TODAY to ASK ME TO WALK THE DOG!! Fortunately, I was busy!

    IF YOU BUY A DOG, EXPECT TO LOOK AFTER IT YOURSELF!!!

    So, your belief that aged narcissists die alone is probably unfounded. What I suspect is that they move from harassing family, who maybe HAVE got sick of them, to using other people who have even less choice. The Welfare (Health and Social Care) System allows narcissistic elderly people no end of opportunities for power, control and manipulation. Basically, all they need to do is moan about aches and pains (real or imagined) and Doctors/Nurses/Social Workers/Care Workers are obliged because of the nature of their job to listen. THIS is all an elderly narcissist needs! I’ll bet it feels like manna from heaven for them! An endless opportunity to demand that somebody fusses round them, whilst they sit and gripe about real, or imaginary, illnesses. And care staff CANNOT refuse, because…
    a) Their job description is to intervene, assess the situation, and provide suitable care
    b) It would look bad on THEM if they refused to provide care to an old person (even if the person was faking illness) because the old person was narcissistic
    c) It is very hard to prove either that an elderly person IS faking illness, or that they ARE narcissistic…

    So, personally, I believe that elderly narcissists DO NOT die alone. Instead, they milk the Health and Social Care System for all they can get – in the form of medical welfare benefits, or visits from care staff, or even making claims against health care providers for financial gain. Narcissists are narcissists FOR LIFE, and their self-centred behaviours will stay with them in old age. So, what better way for an elderly narcissist to gain lots and lots of attention – plus guilt-trip everyone around them – other than to complain of age-related frailty and illness!

    1. I feel your pain. I lived it in my mirrored life. You are in a lose lose situation cause of the i(n law) Situation. You can’t ESCAPE or protect yourself, unless you REMOVE HER ACCESS AND SUPPLY. Her son and you! I believe but don’t know, your future will be Divorce, or If he can roll down the shutters on her, you will both escape. You NEED to put you in front of your relationship with him to do what you NEED to do! Hard when your committed but hard is the only way! I wish the path your souls chose to live, has a resolution FOR YOU BOTH. TOGETHER! My in-law was a fucking DEMON. Enough said. I feel you! Bite the hard one, and start healing!

  5. Look. Reading the first post actually is the saddest story there is. That is sad! They were born pure, and undamaged. They ended up ,,,well,, really toxic! Pure to toxic! Their behavior is putred and toxic as their abuse was! You want to heal, and actually make them accountable for their abuse and toxicity?? Then, Forgive them, for you, first, and their soul second cause that just may be the final nail to a generational toxicity that just gets carried forward. End it! Heal you, and force accountability upon them by saying, “your a person, your not perfect, you have been abusive and I know exactly how and when! But I FORGIVE YOU, cause your a person, and IRS NOT OK, but just TRUE! YOUDONT need there affirmation, just their bewilderment, when you smile from healing, while they feel their karna! It is theirs and the healing will be yours! You can heal! You can survive. You WILL! I HAVE!

  6. This is just wishful thinking! The NARC will ALWAYS have a clinger / narc supply!! When my ex was on his death bed there were 6 women surrounding his bed!! After the final breath was taken and they were taking him away …the women actually started fighting who was going to get his bed!!! The NARC can always find supply!!!

  7. This is an excellent article about narc demons. I think that personally more and more people are being educated as to what these things are. Yes, monsters really and truly do exist. Who would have thought? So these demons are here to try and steal the souls of God’s children, that is their only purpose. Resist the narc demons, always disappoint them and never give them a penny! Laugh at them whenever possible 🙂

  8. This has got to be one of the best articles ever written about narcissists and narcissistic abuse. It’s becoming very prevalent and noticeable in society now that these intraspecies predators are on the rise. The problem is, most normal people who have not ever encountered one of these demon possessed people can understand the depth of deception and cruelty delivered by these entities. Truly they are not human any longer if they ever were. Either they were born this way or at some point in their lives made a pact with the devil. Either way, they are evil to the core and must be guarded against in every way possible. Their goal is to kill and destroy and they will go to any lengths to get their way, for no reason at all other than to damage people and steal souls. It sounds crazy yes but it is 110% the truth about these sick puppies. The sooner that normal people are able to identify these monsters the better.

    1. I also agree with this post too….the problem i face is back and forth compassion and anger…i forgive one day then the next angry again..but the narcs are always miserable and enjoy the suffering they inflict

  9. Wow! Is so sad that nice people has to go true with this toxic relationship.
    Yes they are evil , empty souls and they don’t care about humans.
    After 28 years I couldn’t take anymore
    I didn’t know why he was acting like he was afraid, insecure, controlling, paranoid, manipulating and gaslighting me until the end his manic personality was going to far and now he is 65 years old chasing victims . I have to kick him out, call the police and after he was hovering me i said NO
    Sad I chose life over dead

  10. Yes, this is exactly what I went through with my ex-narc as he aged!! I’m 5 yrs. younger, and he refused to acknowledge his aging!! Wouldn’t wear hearing aids because “he heard all he wanted to hear;” when he broke his hip, (“only OLD people break hips”), we had to refer to it as a “broken leg. ) on and on!!! Divorced me after I took care of him for 35 yrs. because living with me was “too streszful” he told his counselor. Moved to a retirement home to be “alone” and enlisted my daughter-in-law and her daughter (my granddaughter!) to become his new supply by gaining their sympathy, caring natures, and youth! I’m better off but can’t warn them so it hurts me knowing they are being used and will ultimately get hurt by him as i did!!

  11. Thanks to the supporters. You felt my message. Thanks to the knockers. You are the reason WE all are on this blog. Sharing is caring. Attacking is lacking! I may be in your face, upfront, to the point, but even where I bring a negative to someone, I also offer the seed of thought, or advice to hopefully bring a conscious change in someone. Blunt can feel shit, but abuse and unhealed trauma can’t be compared to what I offered up. I aim to share my experiences to give just as I have received from reading. Some people are conscious of these people who Abuse, but can’t see how they still havnt healed, by just LABELING them all as DEMONS, and NARC’S to feel different or in control. I was there I get it. People are people! Always! Even them. They treated us with NO RESPECT as a PERSON. So what, we then LABLE, and attack their Humanity as they did to us. The see you as SUPPLY and treat you as SUPPLY. If you SEE them as NARC’S, you’ll treat them as NARC’S. Well, good luck with that. Remove them, disengaguge from them. And see them AS GONE! Then you’ll treat them as GONE! AND you’ll treat yourself with PEACE! After my mother passes I’ll be free forever. I choose to be here as a carer for my FATHER, who NEEDS care. Mum? I choose to offer nothing but ACKNOWLEDGING she exists in any moment cause she does. IGNORING SOMEONE IS THE WORST ABUSE THERE IS, HANDS DOWN! But soon I will go. No more abusive people in my life. Forever! Can’t ignore people if I don’t see them. Healed. I am. Ready to begin the next 44 Years of my life. And the abusers don’t stand chance now. I won’t give them one. Fangs are everywhere. I see them now. I feel them around me shopping or socializing. I just laugh. My veins no longer bulge. They just vanish! Poof!! Like a bat out of hell! Anyway love to all, especially the NARC’S. They need it more than most!

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